2021年考研英语二大作文失分点批改

本文整理了2021年考研英语二大作文真题原文及高分批改例文，是备考考研英语作文真题范文的实用素材。考研英语作文在考研英语中占据重要分值，历年真题范文能够帮助考生快速把握命题规律与评分要点，下面让我们一同走进这篇批改范文。

一、2021年考研英语二大作文题目

考研英语二2021年大作文48. Directions: Write an essay based on the chart below. In your writing, you should1) interpret the chart, and 2)give your comments. You should write about 150 words on the ANSWER SHEET. (15 points)

二、2021年考研英语二大作文批改例文

The bar chart clearly displays the percentage breakdown of different ways of physical exercise among the residents in a certain city. Exercise alone takes the lead at 54.3%, followed by exercising with friends at 47.7%. Additionally, factors such as exercising with family members and group activities are also considered, accounting for 23.9% and 15.8%, respectively.

The core reasons for observed phenomenon can be summarized as follows. To start with, the younger generation, particularly those born in the 1990s and 2000s, are accustomed to living alone in big cities. Therefore, the proportion of those who exercise alone is the highest. In，addition，in the wake of the high-speed advancement of society, our goverment has made tremendous efforts to build many parks and stadiums, enabling residents to exercise with friends and family. Considering these factors, the depicted phenomen in the chart is unsurprising.

What about future trends? I am confident that the above statistical figures accurately and truthfully reflect the choices of residents, serving as a microcosm of the changes in the era, and will likely remain relatively stable in the following decades.

三、考研英语作文批改

原文：The bar chart clearly displays the percentage breakdown of different ways of physical exercise among the residents in a certain city.

批改：明确指出图表类型以及图表核心内容，即某城市居民不同体育锻炼方式的占比情况，表述清晰准确。

原文：Exercise alone takes the lead at 54.3%, followed by exercising with friends at 47.7%.

批改：准确描述了图表中占比前两位的体育锻炼方式及其具体比例，数据引用清晰。

原文：Additionally, factors such as exercising with family members and group activities are also considered, accounting for 23.9% and 15.8%, respectively.

批改：补充说明了其他体育锻炼方式及其占比，内容完整。

原文：The core reasons for observed phenomenon can be summarized as follows

批改：引出下文对现象原因的分析，起到过渡作用。

原文：To start with, the younger generation, particularly those born in the 1990s and 2000s, are accustomed to living alone in big cities.

批改：从年轻一代的生活习惯角度分析独自锻炼比例高的原因，有一定合理性。

原文：herefore, the proportion of those who exercise alone is the highest.

批改：基于前文原因得出结论，逻辑连贯。

原文：In，addition，in the wake of the high-speed advancement of society, our goverment has made tremendous efforts to build many parks and stadiums, enabling residents to exercise with friends and family.

批改：从社会发展和政府举措角度分析与他人一起锻炼的原因，有一定逻辑性。“In，addition”拼写错误，应为“In addition”；“goverment”拼写错误，应为“government”。

原文：Considering these factors, the depicted phenomen in the chart is unsurprising.

批改：总结前文原因，得出图表现象合理的结论。“phenomen”拼写错误，应为“phenomenon”。

原文：What about future trends?

批改：引出对未来趋势的探讨，起到过渡作用。

原文：I am confident that the above statistical figures accurately and truthfully reflect the choices of residents, serving as a microcosm of the changes in the era, and will likely remain relatively stable in the following decades.

批改：表达了对未来趋势的看法，认为当前数据能反映居民选择且未来可能保持稳定，有一定观点。

四、考研英语作文评分

得分：10/15

题目要求：文章基本满足题目要求。开篇对图表进行了清晰解读，明确指出是某城市居民不同体育锻炼方式的占比情况，详细列举了独自锻炼、和朋友锻炼、和家人锻炼以及团体活动锻炼各自的百分比，完成了图表解读任务。同时，也给出了关于这种现象的原因分析和未来趋势的评论，整体上回应了题目中“interpret the chart”和“give your comments”这两个关键要求。

语言表达：文章整体采用“总 - 分 - 总”的结构，先介绍图表内容，再分析原因，最后预测趋势，层次分明。例如在分析原因时，分别从年轻一代生活习惯和社会发展政府举措两个方面进行阐述，条理清晰。

内容层面：从年轻一代的生活习惯和社会发展政府举措两个方面分析不同体育锻炼方式占比的原因，具有一定的合理性和现实依据。年轻一代习惯独自生活，所以独自锻炼比例高；社会发展政府建设公共设施，方便了居民与他人一起锻炼。

修改建议：仔细检查文章中的拼写和语法错误，确保语言的准确性。积累并运用更多高级词汇和短语来替换普通词汇。例如，将“account for”替换为“make up”“constitute”；将“are accustomed to”替换为“are inclined to”“are prone to”等。增加复合句和复杂句的使用，使句子结构更加多样化。例如，可以使用定语从句、状语从句、宾语从句等来丰富句子表达。如“The younger generation, who are accustomed to living alone in big cities, are more likely to choose to exercise alone.”

对2021年考研英语二大作文的精读，让我们再一次感受到考研英语作文真题范文写作的命题趋势和得分要点。启航教育会持续发布考研英语写作干货，欢迎添加在线咨询老师，领取2027写作预测话题与范文精解，预约免费批改名额。