2013年考研英语二大作文实例分析与批改

备战2013年考研英语大作文，先从研读经典高分范文开始。本文汇集的启航教育批改范文中，不仅有原文、批注，还有词汇注释与亮点解析。准备2027考研的同学，可联系启航教育在线咨询考研英语二写作高分规划。

一、2013年考研英语二大作文题目

考研英语二2013年大作文Directions:Write an essay based on the following chart. In your writing, you should 1) interpret the chart, and 2) give your comments. You should write about 150 words on the ANSWER SHEET. (15 points)

二、2013年考研英语二大作文批改例文

The line clearly depicts the situation of students working in part-time jobs in some university. In the freshman year, the percentage of doing part-time jobs is 67.77%. But in the last year of the college, the percentage of doing part-time jobs has gradually risen to 88.24%. In contrast, 16.31% of doing part-time jobs experienced a significant increase from the third year of the college to the last year of the college.

The reasons for the observed phenomenon can be summarized as follows. To start with, as the country undergoes changes, our government has made tremendous efforts to help students to touch the society and enable university students to have ample opportunities for further education. In addition, the part-time jobs also can make students achieve financial independence to supplement living expenses and reduce family burdens.

What about future trends? I am confident the proportion of the part-time jobs of students will steadily increase in the following decades.

三、考研英语作文批改

原文：16.31% of doin

批改：16.31% of doing part-time jobs experienced... 这是一个常见的表达错误。不是“16.31%的兼职工作”增加了，而是“比例”增加了16.31个百分点。应改为：The proportion/percentage experienced a significant increase of 16.31%...

原文：e line clearly depicts the situation of students working in part-time jobs in some university. In the freshman year, the percentage of doing part-time jobs is 67.77%. But in the last year of the college, the percentage of doing part-time jobs has gradually risen to 88.24%. In contrast, 16.31% of doing part-time jobs experienced a significant increase from the third year of the college to the last year of the college.

批改：你准确地抓住了核心数据（大一和大四的比例）以及最关键的趋势（大三到大四的激增）。开头句也很好的引入了图表。主要问题在于最后一句话的数据描述方式不够准确，这是图表作文的一个关键扣分点，一定要修正过来。

原文：opportunities for further education.

批改：opportunities for further education (深造机会) 与“兼职”的直接关联性不强。兼职更直接的是为了 gain work experience (获得工作经验) 或 prepare for their careers (为职业生涯做准备)。

原文：obs also can ma

批改：the part-time jobs also can make students... 语序不当，应为 Part-time jobs can also help students...

原文：easons for the observed phenomenon can be summarized as follows. To start with, as the country undergoes changes, our government has made tremendous efforts to help students to touch the society and enable university students to have ample opportunities for further education. In addition, the part-time jobs also can make students achieve financial independence to supplement living expenses and reduce family burdens.

批改：本段的结构非常好！你从“外部环境（政府）”和“个人需求（经济独立）”两个层面分析原因，逻辑非常清晰。第二个原因（经济独立）尤其贴切，能很好地解释为什么学生（尤其是高年级学生）有动力去做兼职。第一个原因的思路是对的，但表述可以更精准，将“政府帮助”更直接地与“获得社会/工作经验”联系起来。

原文： am confident the pro

批改：在 confident 和 the proportion 之间，加上连接词 that 会更符合语法，即 I am confident that...

原文：hat about future trends? I am confident the proportion of the part-time jobs of students will steadily increase in the following decades.

批改：你明确地预测了未来趋势，并且这个预测与你在第二段分析的“经济压力”等内在动力是逻辑自洽的，做得很好！结尾干净利落。

四、考研英语作文评分

得分：11分

这篇作文清晰地表明你已经掌握了考研英语二大作文的核心写作套路。你的文章结构完整，逻辑脉络清晰，内容要点也覆盖全面。

当前，你的主要任务是从“写对”迈向“写好”，目标是在语言的准确性和地道性上精益求精。

数据描述的精确性：务必确保描述数据变化时的主语和谓语搭配是绝对准确的。这是图表作文的命门。

多积累并使用标准的学术词汇（如 senior, junior）。

避免“中式英语”（如 touch the society），多通过阅读范文，积累更地道的替换表达。

论证的精准度：确保每个论据都与你描述的现象有最强关联。比如，将“政府努力”与“获得工作经验”挂钩，就比与“深造”挂钩更直接有力。

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