考研英语一2013年大作文实例分析与批改

备战2013年考研英语大作文，先从研读经典高分范文开始。本文汇集的启航教育批改范文中，不仅有原文、批注，还有词汇注释与亮点解析。准备2027考研的同学，可联系启航教育在线咨询考研英语一写作高分规划。

一、考研英语一2013年大作文题目

考研英语一2013年大作文Directions:Write an essay of 160-200 words based on the following drawing. In your essay, you should1) describe the drawing briefly, 2) interpret its intended meaning, and3) give your comments. You should write neatly on the ANSWER SHEET. (20 points)

二、考研英语一2013年大作文批改例文

As shown in the cartoon, there are many graductes standing at a crossroads and facing many choices, including starting a business,continuing their studies ，seeking jobs, and going abroad .Enidently, the cartoolst intends to convey to readers that it is a proper choice that plays an important and positive role both in our personal lives and in society.

This phenomenon is thought-provoking in several ways. but two of them are particularly significant. First and foremost, making a propor chacce can ignite our creativity and promate personal growth and self-fullilment, thus making life rewarding and meaningful, rather than being self-consuming. What is more making a propor choice holds exceptional significance for a student, as it has become a key factor that distinguishes exceptional indinduals from ordinary people.

In brief, making a proper choice is the catalyst for society and personal development, from which we all stand to benefit. Therefor, we should actirely support and advocate this practice Only by doing so can we develop individual potential

月 目

三、考研英语作文批改

原文：hown in the cartoon, there are many graductes standing at a crossroads and facing many choices, including starting a business,continuing their studies ，seeking jobs, and going abroad .Enidently, the cartoolst intends to convey to readers that it is a proper choice that plays an important and positive role both in our personal lives and in society.

批改：本段成功描述了漫画场景，并提炼出了核心寓意

原文：phenomenon is thought-provoking in several ways. but two of them are particularly significant. First and foremost, making a propor chacce can ignite our creativity and promate personal growth and self-fullilment, thus making life rewarding and meaningful, rather than being self-consuming. What is more making a propor choice holds exceptional significance for a student, as it has become a key factor that distinguishes exceptional indinduals from ordinary people.

批改：两个论点都集中在“正确选择的重要性”上，角度有些重复。可以考虑将其中一个论点，比如第二个，更具体地阐述正确选择如何帮助学生脱颖而出，或者从反面论述一下“错误选择”的危害，这样正反对比论证会更丰富，逻辑层次也更分明。 本段认识到了“正确选择”的价值，这很好。我们可以通过区分论点的层次或采用正反对比，让论证的角度更多元，避免内容重复。

原文：brief, making a proper choice is the catalyst for society and personal development, from which we all stand to benefit. Therefor, we should actirely support and advocate this practice Only by doing so can we develop individual potential

批改：​ 结论段再次点题，并使用了 catalyst这样的高级词汇，结尾的倒装句也很有力

原文：Therefor, we sho

批改：Therefor-> Therefore(拼写修正) actirely-> actively(拼写修正) potentia-> potential(拼写修正)

原文： propor chacce can ignite our creativity and promate personal growth and self-fullilment, thus making life rew

批改：propor chacce-> proper choice(拼写修正) promate-> promote(拼写修正) self-fullilment-> self-fulfillment(拼写修正) indinduals-> individuals(拼写修正) What is more-> What is more,(后面加逗号)

原文：y graductes standing at a crossroads and facing many choices, including starting a business,continuing their studies ，seeking jobs, and going abroad .Enidently, the cartoolst intends to convey to

批改：graductes-> graduates(拼写修正) Enidently-> Evidently(拼写修正) cartoolst-> cartoonist(拼写修正)

四、考研英语作文评分

得分：15

总评与建议：

同学，你的作文审题准确，结构完整，这是写好议论文的重要基础！当前的提升点主要在于语言的准确性和论证的深度。

仔细检查拼写：文中有多处拼写错误。建议完成写作后，留出时间快速通读检查，这是提升分数最有效的方法之一。

优化论证层次：在主体段安排论点时，可以尝试从不同侧面（如个人发展、社会需求）或采用正反对比来展开，使论证更有层次感和说服力。

确保内容完整：结尾句可以补充完整，给文章一个更圆满的收尾

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