进入冲刺阶段,每一份考研英语写作锦囊写作资料都弥足珍贵。本文整理的2024年考研英语一批改范例,由启航教育写作主讲亲自精批,已标注高分句型与失分雷区。无论你是考研英语一一还是考研英语一二考生,都能从中找到提分灵感。
一、考研英语一2024年大作文题目
考研英语一2024年大作文Directions:Write an essay based on the picture and the chart below. In your essay, you should 1) describe the picture and the chart briefly, 2) interpret the implied meaning, and 3) give your comments. Write your answer in 160-200 words on the ANSWER SHEET. (20 points)
二、考研英语一2024年大作文批改例文
As shown in the left-hand cartoon, there are crowds of people doing exercise in the park and a young man says, “The new park built recently near my home is really excellent!” Simultaneously, in the right-hand bar chart, the number of parks in a certain city experienced a significant increase of 264 from 2020 to 2022.
The core reasons for the observed phenomenon can be summarized as follows. To start with, in the wake of the high-speed advancement of society, people are no longer content with mere material satisfaction; they also pursue physical health. This explains why an increasing number of people choose to exercise in the park rather than staying at home. In addition, as the conductor orchestrating the symphony of changes, our government has made tremendous efforts to build many parks, enabling citizens to exercise themselves. Considering these factors, the depicted phenomenon in the chart is unsurprising.
What about trends? I am confident that the number of parks will steadily increase in the following decades.
三、考研英语作文批改
原文:As shown in the left-hand cartoon, there are crowds of people doing exercise in the park and a young man says, “The new park built recently near my home is really excellent!”
批改:此句准确描述了漫画中的场景,用词恰当,“crowds of”形象地描绘出人多,“built recently”清晰说明了公园的新建情况,整体表达流畅自然。
原文:Simultaneously, in the right-hand bar chart, the number of parks in a certain city experienced a significant increase of 264 from 2020 to 2022.
批改:该句准确描述了图表内容,“Simultaneously”很好地衔接了漫画和图表,“experienced a significant increase of”准确表达了数量的增长情况,语法正确。
原文:The core reasons for the observed phenomenon can be summarized as follows.
批改:此句起到承上启下的作用,自然地引出下文对现象原因的分析,表达简洁明了。
原文:To start with, in the wake of the high-speed advancement of society, people are no longer content with mere material satisfaction; they also pursue physical health.
批改:用词较为高级,“in the wake of”增加了句子的文采,“no longer content with”和“pursue”准确地表达了人们需求的变化,逻辑清晰。
原文:This explains why an increasing number of people choose to exercise in the park rather than staying at home.
批改:此句进一步阐述了前面提到的人们追求健康与选择在公园锻炼之间的因果关系,表达合理。
原文: In addition, as the conductor orchestrating the symphony of changes, our government has made tremendous efforts to build many parks, enabling citizens to exercise themselves.
批改:运用了比喻的修辞手法,将政府比作指挥变化的指挥家,形象生动,“made tremendous efforts”和“enabling”体现了政府的作用和影响,使句子富有表现力。
原文:Considering these factors, the depicted phenomenon in the chart is unsurprising.
批改:此句总结前文,得出图表现象合理的结论,逻辑连贯。
原文:What about trends? I am confident that the number of parks will steadily increase in the following decades.
批改:该句提出了对未来趋势的看法,“What about trends?”自然地引出话题,“am confident that”表达坚定,整体简洁有力。
四、考研英语作文评分
得分:17/20
题目要求:较好地遵循了题目要求。在描述部分,对左侧漫画里公园中人群锻炼以及年轻人夸赞新建公园的场景进行了呈现,也对右侧柱状图中某城市 2020 - 2022 年公园数量显著增加 264 这一数据进行了准确说明。在解读寓意方面,能够分析出人们追求健康以及政府努力建设公园是导致公园数量增加和人们热衷公园锻炼现象的原因。在评论部分,明确给出了对未来公园数量会稳步增加这一趋势的看法。整体围绕题目要求完成了各项任务。
语言表达:使用了如 “Simultaneously”“To start with”“In addition” 等连接词,使文章在描述、分析和论述过程中层次较为清晰,逻辑连贯性较好。
内容层面:全文围绕公园数量增加以及人们去公园锻炼这一现象展开,从描述、分析原因到评论趋势,主题清晰明确,没有出现偏离主题的情况。
专业批改是考研英语写作提分直接有效的方式之一。启航教育提供由资深讲师亲批的免费批改服务,针对考研英语一大作文逐句逐段给出修改建议。完成本文精读之后,欢迎将你的作文提交给启航教育,享受考研英语写作锦囊高分批改。
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