考研英语一2016年大作文实例分析与批改

想要在2027考研英语写作中拿到高分？研读启航教育整理的2016年考研英语一批改范例就是捷径之一。本文范文紧扣考研英语一作文真题核心话题，从开头引入到结尾升华都做了精细打磨，是短期内快速提升考研英语写作水平的优质资源。

一、考研英语一2016年大作文题目

考研英语一2016年大作文52. Directions: Write an essay of 160-200 words based on the following pictures. In your essay, you should1) describe the pictures briefly, 2) interpret the meaning, and3) give your comments. You should write neatly on the ANSWER SHEET. (20 points)

二、考研英语一2016年大作文批改例文

In the left-hand cartoon, there is a father, smoking and watching TV, while talking his son to study hard. On the contrary, in the right-hand cartoon, there are father and son both in studying. Evidently, the cartoon intents to convery to readers that taking a positive role is the brush that paints a bright future, while taking a nagative role is the sackle that hinders progress.

This phenomenon is thought-provoking in several ways, but two of them are particularly significant. On the one hand, while certain Chinese traditions may be outdated, the take a positive role to childern is one that should never lost its luster, as it is an essential bond that keeps the Chinese notion thriving. On the other hand, playing a nagative role to children is like a heavy chain that hinders children’s progress, leaving them with a nagative outlook on life and preventing them from shining brightly in future society.

In brief, taking a positive role is the catalyst for children‘s development, from which we all stand to benefit. Therefore, we should actively support and advocate this practice; additionally, we must be acutely aware of the detrimental effects of play a nagative role to ensure our growth stays on course.

三、考研英语作文批改

原文：talking

批改：asking要求

原文：intents

批改：intends

原文：sackle

批改：shackle

原文：In the left-hand cartoon, there is a father, smoking and watching TV, while talking his son to study hard. On the contrary, in the right-hand cartoon, there are father and son both in studying. Evidently, the cartoon intents to convery to readers that taking a positive role is the brush that paints a bright future, while taking a nagative role is the sackle that hinders progress.

批改：能够完整全面的描述出图画中的现象，并能够直接点明作文的主题。

原文：the take

批改：taking动名词做主语

原文：lost

批改：lose动词原形

原文：notion

批改：nation

原文：This phenomenon is thought-provoking in several ways, but two of them are particularly significant. On the one hand, while certain Chinese traditions may be outdated, the take a positive role to childern is one that should never lost its luster, as it is an essential bond that keeps the Chinese notion thriving. On the other hand, playing a nagative role to children is like a heavy chain that hinders children’s progress, leaving them with a nagative outlook on life and preventing them from shining brightly in future society.

批改：能够通过正反两方面进行论述来突出论点，能够运用逻辑关系词，使得句子之间衔接较为连贯。

原文：we

批改：注意人称一致they

原文：play

批改：of介词后加动词ing，改成playing

原文：n brief, taking a positive role is the catalyst for children‘s development, from which we all stand to benefit. Therefore, we should actively support and advocate this practice; additionally, we must be acutely aware of the detrimental effects of play a nagative role to ensure our growth stays on course.

批改：能够提出自己的建议，起到了总结和再次呼应主题的作用。

四、考研英语作文评分

得分：15/20

内容切题，全面的描绘出了图画中的内容。词汇方面，注意避免拼写错误；句式方面，句子结构完整连贯；语法方面，注意动名词做主语以及句子中人称的一致。逻辑结构清晰完整，论证较为充分。能够运用一些逻辑关系词来连接句子，结构清晰。

修改建议：可以看出作文完成的非常认真，无论是内容的充分性还是语言的逻辑结构都特别的清晰，值得表扬。如果能够再注意避免以上的一些小的细节问题会更好。继续加油。

2016年考研英语一大作文是考研英语一作文真题常考话题的典型代表，研读与模仿高分范文是高效的提分方式。启航教育会持续推出考研英语大作文热点话题预测与范文精解，关注我们即可免费获取预测资料，欢迎在线咨询。