考研英语作文失分点多、提分空间大,一直是2013年考研英语一备考生核心痛点之一。本文围绕考研英语一大作文话题,给出一篇经过启航教育老师精细批改的高分范文,文中不仅有逐句批注,还附有可复制的考研英语一高分写作模板。
一、考研英语一2013年大作文题目
考研英语一2013年大作文Directions:Write an essay of 160-200 words based on the following drawing. In your essay, you should1) describe the drawing briefly, 2) interpret its intended meaning, and3) give your comments. You should write neatly on the ANSWER SHEET. (20 points)
二、考研英语一2013年大作文批改例文
As shown in the cartoon, there are a lot of graduates facing four different roads, including finding a job, taking part in the postgraduate, starting up business, and going abroad. Evidently, the cartoonist intends to convey to readers that the graduates have different roads and finding the most suitable path for us plays an important role in personal life. This phenomenon is thought-provoking in several ways, but two of them are particularly significant. On the one hand, a suitable path can serve as a crucial cornerstone for being successful,and promote personal growth and self-fulfillment, thus making life rewarding and meaningful, rather than being self-consuming.On the other hand, an unsuitable path can not only cause the loss of opportunities and resources, waste our precious time, but also open Pandora"s box to undermine our motivation to progress. In brief, a suitable path is the catalyst for societal and personal development, from which we all stand to benefit. Therefore, we should actively find and persist the most suitable path. Only by doing so can we develop individual potential and fulfill our aspirations.
三、考研英语作文批改
原文:taking part in the postgraduate
批改:taking part in the postgraduate 应为 pursuing postgraduate studies
原文: starting up business
批改:“starting up business” 语法不规范,正确表达为 “starting a business”(单数)或 “starting up businesses”(复数)
批改:本段基本完成了描述图画和揭示寓意的任务,结构清晰,注意部分小细节
原文: This phenomenon is thought-provoking in several ways, but two of them are particularly significant. On the one hand, a suitable path can serve as a crucial cornerstone for being successful,and promote personal growth and self-fulfillment, thus making life rewarding and meaningful, rather than being self-consuming.On the other hand, an unsuitable path can not only cause the loss of opportunities and resources, waste our precious time, but also open Pandora"s box to undermine our motivation to progress.
批改:本段从正反两个维度深入阐释了“路径选择”的重要性,论证层次丰富,体现了辩证思维。逻辑框架稳固,语言上成功运用了高级词汇和修辞手法,展现了良好的议论能力。
原文:persist the
批改:persist 为不及物动词,后不能直接接宾语,应改为 persist in 或使用及物动词 stick to / follow
批改:本段圆满地总结了全文,并提出了呼吁。
原文:he graduates have different roads and finding the most suitable path for us
批改: for us 的突然出现造成了人称指代的不统一(前文是 the graduates,后文是 us)
四、考研英语作文评分
得分:15/20分
本文结构严谨,完整地遵循了题目指令。最大的亮点在于第二段的论证,能够从正反两方面透彻地分析“合适路径”与“不合适路径”的影响,并成功运用了 Pandora"s box 等高级修辞,体现了良好的思辨能力和语言积累。文章的主要提升空间在于:第一段对寓意的解读可以更深入一层,直接点明“理性选择”这一核心;同时,注意修正个别动词的用法和指代的一致性。这是一篇展现了扎实功底的作文,在现有基础上稍作打磨,便能向更高分数段冲击。
范文参考
As is vividly depicted in the drawing, a multitude of graduates stand at a critical crossroads, perplexed by the divergent paths stretching before them. These routes symbolize the primary choices upon graduation: seeking employment, pursuing further studies, going abroad, or embarking on entrepreneurship. This illustration serves as a powerful metaphor, emphasizing the paramount importance of making a conscious and fitting choice at this life juncture.
The significance of this decision is multifaceted. Primarily, a well-suited path acts as a catalyst, aligning one"s efforts with their inherent strengths and passions, thereby maximizing the potential for fulfillment and success. It transforms work and study from a drain into a source of energy. Conversely, a rash or unsuitable choice is akin to opening Pandora"s box; it can lead to wasted time, squandered opportunities, and most detrimentally, the erosion of one"s intrinsic motivation and self-belief.
In conclusion, navigating this crossroads requires both introspection and courage. We should proactively explore our options through internships and self-reflection, rather than passively following trends. Educational institutions also bear the responsibility of providing robust career guidance. Through such concerted efforts, graduates can be empowered to make informed decisions that pave the way for a rewarding future.
如果你也想让自己的考研英语一作文拿到理想分数,可以将本文的范文与老师批注作为标杆反复研读。同时,启航教育2027考研英语斌哥写作锦囊冲刺抢分班已正式启动报名,在线咨询可获考研英语一大作文高分资料礼包。
【28考研辅导课程推荐】:28考研集训课程,VIP领学计划,28考研VIP全科定制套餐(公共课VIP+专业课1对1) , 这些课程中都会配有内部讲义以及辅导书和资料,同时会有教研教辅双师模式对大家进行教学以及督学,并配有24小时答疑和模拟测试等,可直接咨询在线客服老师领取大额优惠券。
热门下载
资料下载
院校解析
真题解析
考研数学
考研英语
考研政治
考研备考