据启航教育英语教研组统计,考研英语作文批改话题连续多年成为考研英语二大作文的高频考点。本文带来的2016年考研英语二批改例文中,考生通过对社会热点的精准分析与地道表达,获得高分,其写作思路可供2027考研英语二考生直接借鉴。
一、考研英语二2016年大作文题目
考研英语二2016年大作文Write an essay based on the chart below. In your writing, you should1) interpret the chart, and2) give your comments.You should write about 150 words on the ANSWER SHEET.
二、考研英语二2016年大作文批改例文
The pie chart clearly displays the percentage breakdown of the purpose of students" traveling of a university.Enjoying landscape takes the lead at 37% ,followed by relaxing at 33%. Additionally, factors such as making friends, cultivating independence,and others are also considered ,accounting for 9%,6% and 15% respectively.
The core reasons for the observed phenomenon can be summarized as follows.To start with,as the saying goes,"On life"s stage,pressure is always present."Nowadays,university students are compelled to be confront immense academic pressure,and as a result, traveling has emerged as their significant choice for utilizing leisure time. In addition, in the wake of the high speed advancement of society, people are no longer content with mere material satisfaction;they also pursue spiritual enjoyment. This explains why an increasing number of students choose outing to enjoy,relax and make friends. Considering these factors, the depicted phenomenon in the chart is unsurprising .
What about future trends? I"m confident that the above statistical figures accurately and truthfully reflect the choice of students ,serving as a microcosm of the changes in the era,and will likely remain relatively stable in the following decades.
三、考研英语作文批改
原文:the purpose of students" traveling
批改:改为 various purposes of traveling among students 表达更精确
原文:of
批改:改为 at
原文: landscape
批改:改为 the landscape 更地道
批改:开头段表达不错,清晰地阐述了图表内容
批改:语法正确
批改:语法正确,内容表达也很好
原文:high speed
批改:记得加连字符,high-speed
原文:choose outing to enjoy,relax and make friends.
批改:改为 choose to travel to enjoy the landscape 在对饼状图进行原因分析时,我们多选择占比最大的一至两个元素进行剖析。其中,欣赏风 景占比 37%,必须进行原因分析。
批改:内容表达很好,也很具体,但是要注意必须要对占比最大的元素进行分析
批改:结尾段内容表达很好
四、考研英语作文评分
得分:11分/ 15分
题目要求:总体上来说是切题的,表明的个人观点与图表的内容是贴合的
语言表达:存在几处语法问题,词汇表达不错,一些句式表达也很好
结构逻辑:文章的结构完整清晰,内容也比较丰富具体,但是要注意必须要对占比最大的元素进行分析
修改建议:1. 语法问题结合作文批注仔细修改,要细心 2. 中间段要注意必须要对占比最大的元素进行分析,之后可以多积累素材,自己多练练句子,进一步丰富自己的句式和观点储备,提高自己的表达,总的来说写的不错,加油!
复习考研英语大作文,务必要重视范文精读+专业批改的双向结合。启航教育2027考研英语斌哥写作锦囊冲刺抢分班,专为冲刺阶段考生打造,从话题预测到写作模板一应俱全,是考研英语作文批改写作提分的可靠方案。
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