考研英语二2016年大作文真题与例文批改

考研英语二作文模板每年的命题都会折射出当年的社会热点。本文呈现的2016年考研英语二批改范例，从生活实际出发，紧扣命题意图。启航教育老师在批注中详细指出了图（表）描述、原因分析与建议评论的合理答题节奏。

一、考研英语二2016年大作文题目

考研英语二2016年大作文Write an essay based on the chart below. In your writing, you should1) interpret the chart, and2) give your comments.You should write about 150 words on the ANSWER SHEET.

二、考研英语二2016年大作文批改例文

This is a pie chart about the travel purposes in college students.In this chart, 37% of students will go out to enjoy the scenery, while 33% of students choose to relax.In the chart,9% of students think their travel purpose is to make more friends,and 6% of students want to build their independent skill in the trip.Besides,15% of students choose other reasons to be their travel purpose.

This chart shows that most students want to enjoy themself in their travel like enjoying the scenery or releasing the stress.Fewer people will see travel as a chance ,like a chance to make friends or enhance their independent skills.

In my opinion,in our fast-paced college life,a good trip is one of the best medicines to cure our stress and depression in our study life.Spare more time to take a trip doesn’t mean that we are wasting time,on the contrary,a short break can make us work more efficiently.

三、考研英语作文批改

原文：t about the travel purposes in c

批改：about the travel purposes in college students -> depicting the travel purposes of college students (介词使用不当，of 表示所属关系更准确；depicting 比 about 更正式)

原文：is is a pie chart about the travel purposes in college students.In this chart, 37% of students will go out to enjoy the scenery, while 33% of students choose to relax.In the chart,9% of students think their travel purpose is to make more friends,and 6% of students want to build their independent skill in the trip.Besides,15% of students choose other reasons to be their travel purpose.

批改：本段准确地列出了所有数据，完成了图表描述的核心任务

原文：o enjoy themself

批改：enjoy themself -> enjoy themselves (拼写错误)

原文：asing the stres

批改：releasing the stress -> relieving stress (固定搭配，relieve stress)

原文：is chart shows that most students want to enjoy themself in their travel like enjoying the scenery or releasing the stress.Fewer people will see travel as a chance ,like a chance to make friends or enhance their independent skills.

批改：本段准确地总结了图表反映出的核心对比：即大部分学生视旅行为休闲，而非个人发展的机会。这个洞察很好！提升点在于使用更正式、准确的词汇来表达这一观点。

原文：st medicin

批改：medicines to cure our stress and depression -> remedies for academic stress and anxiety (用词更贴切，remedy 常指缓解性的方法；academic 使对象更具体)

原文：pare more time to take a

批改：Spare more time to take a trip doesn’t mean... -> Taking time off for a trip does not mean... (动名词短语作主语更符合语法规范)

原文：y opinion,in our fast-paced college life,a good trip is one of the best medicines to cure our stress and depression in our study life.Spare more time to take a trip doesn’t mean that we are wasting time,on the contrary,a short break can make us work more efficiently.

批改：本段的个人观点非常棒！您提出了一个辩证的看法：旅行不是浪费时间，而是为了更高效地学习。这个论点深刻且具有说服力

四、考研英语作文评分

得分：11分

同学，你好！这篇作文最令人欣赏的地方在于，你不仅准确地描述了图表，还展现出了清晰的逻辑和独立的思考。尤其是在结尾段，你能提出“旅行是为了更好地学习”这一观点，非常出色！

1. 语言方面：

你的语言表达清晰流畅，能够有效地传递信息。主要的提升空间在于词汇和句式的丰富。例如，可以多积累并使用一些更正式的书面词汇（如用reveal替代show，用opportunity替代chance），并尝试将简单的短句合并成更富变化的复合句。

2. 结构方面：

你的文章结构非常完整，三段分别对应题目要求，层层递进。

总的修改建议：

词汇升级：有意识地建立一个“写作同义词库”，将平时常用的简单词，替换为更正式、准确的词汇。

句式多变：在描述图表时，尝试使用非谓语动词（如with... accounting for...）、同位语等结构，避免句子的单调重复。

请务必保持清晰的逻辑和深刻的个人见解

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