考研英语一2013年大作文实例分析与批改

考研英语写作想要突破20分瓶颈，仅靠背诵远远不够，必须通过范文精读+专业批改双管齐下。本文带来的2013年考研英语一高分批改范例，涵盖考研英语一作文范文高频常考话题，逐句逐段剖析高分背后的逻辑链条。

一、考研英语一2013年大作文题目

考研英语一2013年大作文Directions:Write an essay of 160-200 words based on the following drawing. In your essay, you should1) describe the drawing briefly, 2) interpret its intended meaning, and3) give your comments. You should write neatly on the ANSWER SHEET. (20 points)

二、考研英语一2013年大作文批改例文

The drawing is of a patch of graduates

standing at the road. The road is divided into

four paths, finding jobs, studying for higher degrade,

going aboard, starting a business. It evidently shows

the phenomenon that the graduates have more

choices nowadays, and it depends on themselves to

choose a way that fits them well.

It"s critically important to choose the

way in a manner based on their future schedules

and family situation. For these graduates who are

rich, the one who wants to study can study abroad

the other can making business by themselves. For these

graduates who are not rich enough , the one who

want to earn money can find jobs,the other

can study further. All in all, incoperating the reality

when you making a decision. Last but not least,

No matter what ways you choosed, you need to

realize that the competence is fierce and it"s

time to make an effort for your future and

your dreams.

Never be afraid of making wrong

decision. You are still young and have a lot

of chance to explore your rest life.

三、考研英语作文批改

原文：at the road

批改：at the road → 介词使用不当，应改为 at a crossroads（在十字路口）

原文：degrade

批改：degrade 拼写错误，应为 degree（studying for a higher degree）

原文：e drawing is of a patch of graduates standing at the road. The road is divided into four paths, finding jobs, studying for higher degrade, going aboard, starting a business. It evidently shows the phenomenon that the graduates have more choices nowadays, and it depends on themselves to choose a way that fits them well

批改：本段基本完成了对图画的描述，指出了毕业生面临多种选择的核心信息，并引出了“自主选择”的含义。

原文："s critically important to choose the way in a manner based on their future schedules and family situation. For these graduates who are rich, the one who wants to study can study abroad the other can making business by themselves. For these graduates who are not rich enough , the one who want to earn money can find jobs,the other can study further. All in all, incoperating the reality when you making a decision. Last but not least, No matter what ways you choosed, you need to realize that the competence is fierce and it"s time to make an effort for your future and your dreams.

批改：本段试图论证选择需要考虑现实因素并努力奋斗，分论点（以贫富为标准进行划分）过于绝对和简单化，缺乏说服力。“All in all”后接的是一个不完整的句子，破坏了段落结构。

原文：future schedules

批改：future schedules → 用词不当，“schedules”指时间表，应改为 future plans 或 career goals

原文：making business

批改：making business → 固定搭配为 start a business 或 run a business

原文：the one who want to

批改：the one who want → 主谓不一致，主语“the one”是单数，谓语应为 wants。

原文：incoperating

批改：incoperating → 拼写错误，应为 incorporating（融入）。

原文：when you making a decision.

批改：when you making a decision → 语法错误，应为 when you make a decision 或 when making a decision。

原文： choosed, y

批改：you choosed → 时态错误，动词过去式应为 chose。情态动词“what ways you choose”。

原文：No matte

批改：Last but not least, No matter... → “No”不应大写。

原文：ver be afraid of making wrong decision. You are still young and have a lot of chance to explore your rest life.

批改：结尾段观点积极（不要害怕犯错），符合图画寓意

原文：making wrong decision.

批改：making wrong decision → 可数名词“decision”前缺少冠词或应变复数，应改为 making a wrong decision 或 making wrong decisions

原文：f chance

批改：a lot of chance → “chance”作“机会”时为可数名词，应改为 a lot of chances 或 much opportunity。

四、考研英语作文评分

得分：10分

题目要求：文章基本切题，结构尚算完整，包含了描述、阐释与评论。

语言表达：

语法方面：存在大量基础语法错误，包括时态、主谓一致、名词单复数、冠词、句子结构不完整等，部分错误影响理解。

词汇方面：词汇量有限，存在多个关键拼写错误，严重影响分数。

句式方面：句型简单，并在尝试写长句时出现结构错误。

内容层面：

结构与完整性：结构基本清晰，但第二段内部逻辑混乱，结尾段内容不充实。

论证充分性：论证缺乏深度，分论点（以贫富划分选择）较为肤浅和绝对，说理不够有力。

修改建议

夯实语言基础。

立即建立错题本，重点整理并攻克文中的拼写错误（degree/abroad/incorporating）和基础语法错误（主谓一致、时态、冠词、名词单复数）。这是提分的关键。

在记忆单词时，要连同搭配和例句一起记忆。比如，记“competition”就要知道“fierce competition”；记“decision”就要知道“make a decision”。

深化论证：放弃“有钱与否”这种简单化的论证角度。可以从 “兴趣与优势”、“长期职业规划”、“社会需求” 等更内在、更个性化的层面来探讨如何做出选择，使文章更具深度。

本文展示的2013年考研英语一范文可以提炼为考研英语一作文范文的写作模板灵活复用。启航教育写作教研组归纳了6类常考话题高分模板，均纳入2027考研英语斌哥写作锦囊冲刺抢分班，助你一次掌握考研英语作文的得分密码。