考研英语一2016年大作文失分点批改

本文是一份经过启航教育整理的2016年考研英语一大作文批改资料，对照考研英语作文话题写作框架与评分标准进行精细讲解。无论是词汇句式、段落衔接还是逻辑展开，本文都能为考研英语考生提供可直接套用的范例。

一、考研英语一2016年大作文题目

考研英语一2016年大作文52. Directions: Write an essay of 160-200 words based on the following pictures. In your essay, you should1) describe the pictures briefly, 2) interpret the meaning, and3) give your comments. You should write neatly on the ANSWER SHEET. (20 points)

二、考研英语一2016年大作文批改例文

In the left-hand cartoon,there are father and son doing different things,the father is smoking in front of television and ask his son to study hard.On the contrary,in the right -hand portrayal, the father and son are both studying seriously.Evidently, the cartoonist intends to convey to readers that great examples are the brush that paints a bright future for children,while bad examples are the shackle that hinders progress.

This phenomenon is thought-provoking in several ways, but two of them are particularly significant.On the one hand,a great example can ignite children’s creativity and promote their growth and self-fulfillment,thus making their life rewarding and meaningful,rather than being self-consuming. On the other hand,a bad example is like a heavy chain that hinders children’s progress,leaving them with a negative outlook on life and preventing them from shining brightly in future society.

In brief, a great example is the catalyst for social and personal development,from which we all stand to benefit.Therefore,we should actively support and advocate this practice;additionally, we must be acutely aware of the detrimental effects of the bad examples to ensure our growth stays on course.

三、考研英语作文批改

原文：th

批改：从这里开始语法就错了，前面是一个完整的句子，后面如果要跟一个完整的句子，要么加连接词，写成复合句，要么句号，大写，写成简单句，注意修改

原文：son to study hard.On the contrary,in the right -hand portrayal, the father and son are both studying seriously.Evidently, the cartoonist intends to convey to readers that great examples are the brush that paints a bright future for children,while bad examples are the shackle that hinders pro

批改：描述漫画还是比较到位的，内容全面具体，句子结构不错，主题找的 不错，注意一些小错误哦

原文：e hand,a great example can ignite children’s creativity and promote their growth and self-fulfillment,thus making their life rewarding and meaningful,rather than being self-consuming. On the other hand,a bad example is like a heavy chain that hinders children’s progress,leaving them with a negative outlook on life and preventing them from shining brightly in future society.

批改：原因分析和现象解释比较到位，句子符合英文写作特点，比较有信服力。

原文：ays

批改：to stay，ensure sb to do sth

四、考研英语作文评分

得分：14/20

语法：语法上注意句子的表述要严谨哦，尤其是第一段第一句，这是阅卷老师肯定会看的哦，不能错的，最后一段最后一句也比较重要，不能有错，固定搭配需要牢记。

逻辑：整体逻辑可以的，第二段很通顺。

词汇：单词整体还行，没有什么错的。

内容：内容比较符合英文作文写作要求，结构合理。

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