正在备考考研英语的你,是否还在为2011年考研英语一大作文的写法犯愁?本文精选一篇高分组同学的批改例文,系统梳理考研英语作文万能句型的常考话题与写作框架。透过启航教育老师的逐段点评,你能直观感受高分作文的得分诀窍。
一、考研英语一2011年大作文题目
考研英语一2011年大作文Directions:Write an essay of 160-200 words based on the following drawing. In your essay, you should1) describe the drawing briefly,2) explain its intended meaning, and3) give your comments.You should write neatly on ANSWER SHEET 2. (20 points)
二、考研英语一2011年大作文批改例文
What is depicted in the picture is vivid and thought-provoking. Feature in the drawing are two tourists,who are sitting on the boat and enjoying the beautiful scenery,with a fisherman boating for them.However,they are throwing rubbish into the lake and turning a blind eye to the environmental pollution.The captain below the picture read,"the rubbish left by visitors".Simple as the picture may seem,what it conveys should deserve our profound consideration.
It is evident that this drawing aims to mirror a phenmenon that a great deal of rubbish is being thrown by sightseeings at scencic spots.What might accout for this tendency? Maybe the underlying factors can be summarized as follows. To begin with,with the rapid development of the economy,more and more people choose to travel to various places.On the contrary,the consciousness of responsibility in common is not increasing so much that the tendency is increasingly obvious.In addition,the relevant government fail to issue corresponding regulations to curb this tendency.
From my understanding of this drawing,if nothing is done to curb this undersirable tendency, its negative social effect will hinder the steady development of harmonious society.It is essential to perfect relevant machanism and launch large-scale educational campaigns to inform the public about the significance of preventing and controlling pollution.I am convinced that through shared efforts from all stripes of life, we can enbrace a brilliant life.
三、考研英语作文批改
原文:Feature
批改:这里要用过去分词作状语,应改为Featured
原文:captain
批改:caption
原文:read
批改:picture是单数,这里要用单三reads
原文:phenmenon
批改:phenomenon
原文:sightseeings
批改:游客应该用sightseers
原文:scencic
批改:scenic
原文:accout
批改:account
原文:fail
批改:这里要用单三fails
原文:undersirable
批改:undesirable
原文:harmonious
批改:前面要加定冠词the
原文:machanism
批改:要用复数mechanisms
原文:enbrace
批改:embrace
原文:What is depicted in the picture is vivid and thought-provoking. Feature in the drawing are two tourists,who are sitting on the boat and enjoying the beautiful scenery,with a fisherman boating for them.However,they are throwing rubbish into the lake and turning a blind eye to the environmental pollution.The captain below the picture read,"the rubbish left by visitors".Simple as the picture may seem,what it conveys should deserve our profound consideration.
批改:对漫画的描述很详细,注意个别语法问题
原文:s evident that this drawing aims to mirror a phenmenon that a great deal of rubbish is being thrown by sightseeings at scencic spots.What might accout for this tendency? Maybe the underlying factors can be summarized as follows. To begin with,with the rapid development of the economy,more and more people choose to travel to various places.On the contrary,the consciousness of responsibility in common is not increasing so much that the tendency is increasingly obvious.In addition,the relevant government fail to issue corresponding regulations to curb this tendency.
批改:从公众意识和政策规定角度分析了环境污染严重的原因,内容切题,注意语法和拼写问题
原文:From my understanding of this drawing,if nothing is done to curb this undersirable tendency, its negative social effect will hinder the steady development of harmonious society.It is essential to perfect relevant machanism and launch large-scale educational campaigns to inform the public about the significance of preventing and controlling pollution.I am convinced that through shared efforts from all stripes of life, we can enbrace a brilliant life.
批改:表达个人观点,呼吁重视环保。注意语法和拼写问题
四、考研英语作文评分
得分:12/20
题目要求:对图表信息描绘全面准确,个人观点及论述内容符合题意;
语言表达:全文用了一些高级的句式,但语法错误和拼写错误也较多,导致内容表达上不够流畅清晰;
行文逻辑:第一段描述题干内容,第二段展开详细论述,第三段表达个人观点,整体架构完整;
修改建议:改正原文错误;多多积累经典句式;提升语法水平;提高单词拼写的准确性;
同学还有进步的空间,继续努力啊~
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