考研英语一2011年大作文失分点批改

2011年考研英语一大作文是启航考研英语备考清单中的必练题型。本文带来的高分批改范例，配套启航教育老师的逐句批注与预测话题标签，适合考研英语考生在冲刺阶段精读精练，是一套完整的写作提升资料。

一、考研英语一2011年大作文题目

考研英语一2011年大作文Directions:Write an essay of 160-200 words based on the following drawing. In your essay, you should1) describe the drawing briefly,2) explain its intended meaning, and3) give your comments.You should write neatly on ANSWER SHEET 2. (20 points)

二、考研英语一2011年大作文批改例文

As shown in the cartoon,there are two people sitting on a boat, throwing rubbish into the river, contaminates the water resources.Evidently, the cartoonist intends to convey to readers that environmental pollution is an issue that requires great attention both in personal lives and in society.

This phenomenon is thought-provoking in several ways, but two of them are particularly significant.First and foremost,tragically,although the lack of clear rules and regulations might contribute to this phenomenon,its root lies in the fact that some individuals, in their pursuit of economic interests,have disregarded the significance of protecting environment.What is more,environmental pollution is like a heavy chain that hinders our nation’s progress,not only hindering its ability to maintain healthy and rapid growth but also significantly affecting its international image.

How can we put an end to the problem of environmental pollution ? It is suggested by many that we need a package deal,including issue related regulations and enhance supervision.But would these measures be comprehensive enough?In reality, we also need to strengthen self-discipline.With the support of these measures, we can effectively tackle the issue at its core

三、考研英语作文批改

原文：,

批改：此处是两个并列的动作，改为 and 连接

原文：contaminates

批改：此处 contaminates 的主语是前面扔垃圾的行为，此处要处理为非限定性定从，改为 which contaminates， which 指代前面扔垃圾的行为

批改：开头段表达不错，清晰地阐述了图画内容, 表达的主题和图画也是贴合的

批改：语法正确

批改：语法正确，表达也很好

原文：growth

批改：加逗号

批改：内容表达很好，也很具体

原文：issue

批改：including 是介词，后面要用动词的ing形式，改为 issuing

原文：enhance

批改：改为 enhancing

原文：core

批改：记得加句号，结尾段表达很好

四、考研英语作文评分

得分：16分/20分

题目要求：总体上来说是切题的，表明了个人观点，和图画的内容很贴合

语言表达：存在几处语法错误，词汇表达不错，一些句式也很好

结构逻辑：文章的结构完整清晰，内容也比较丰富具体

修改建议：语法问题结合作文批注仔细修改，要细心。之后可以多积累素材，自己多练练句子，进一步丰富自己的句式和观点储备，提高自己的语言表达，试着多用自己的话来写，总的来说写的不错，加油！

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