考研英语一2016年大作文写作方向与示例

作为考研英语备考的核心模块，2016年考研英语一大作文承载了大量学生的提分期待。本文带来的这篇批改例文，紧扣考研英语一写作冲刺常见话题，由启航教育资深英语教研团队逐句批改，详细标注语法、词汇与逻辑三大失分点，是考研英语写作提分的优质资料。

一、考研英语一2016年大作文题目

考研英语一2016年大作文52. Directions: Write an essay of 160-200 words based on the following pictures. In your essay, you should1) describe the pictures briefly, 2) interpret the meaning, and3) give your comments. You should write neatly on the ANSWER SHEET. (20 points)

二、考研英语一2016年大作文批改例文

In the left-hand,there is a father,smoking and watching TV,while demanding his son to study hard.On the contrary,in the right-hand portrayal,both the father and son are devoted to their studies.Evidently,the cartoonist intends to convey to readers that positive examples are the brush that paints a bright future for children,while negative examples are the shackles that hinder their progress.

This phenomenon is thought-provoking in several ways,but two of them are particularly significant.On the one hand,while certain Chinese traditions may be outdated,the principle of leading by example is one that should never lose its luster,as it is an essential bond that keeps the Chinese nation thriving.On the other hand,negative examples set by parents are like heavy chains that hinder children’s progress,leaving them with a negative outlook on life and preventing them from shining brightly in future society.

In brief,positive examples are the catalyst for children’s development,from which they all stand to benefit.Therefore,we should actively support and advocate this practice;additionally,we must be acutely aware of the detrimental effects of negative examples to ensure children’s growth stays on course.

三、考研英语作文批改

原文：e left-hand,there is a father,smoking and watching TV,while demanding his son to study hard.On the contrary,in the right-hand portrayal,both the father and son are devoted to their studies.Evidently,the cartoonist intends to convey to readers that positive examples are the brush that paints a bright future for children,while negative examples are the shackles that hinder their progress.

批改：开篇准确描述了漫画对比，核心比喻新颖而贴切，展现了良好的语言表达能力

原文：he left-hand,ther

批改：In the left-hand：结构不完整，建议补充为 In the left-hand picture 或 In the left panel

原文：nomenon is thought-provoking in several ways,but two of them are particularly significant.On the one hand,while certain Chinese traditions may be outdated,the principle of leading by example is one that should never lose its luster,as it is an essential bond that keeps the Chinese nation thriving.On the other hand,negative examples set by parents are like heavy chains that hinder children’s progress,leaving them with a negative outlook on life and preventing them from shining brightly in future

批改：本段论证层次分明，正反对比有力，修辞手法运用娴熟。论证角度可以更加紧扣家庭教育主题。

原文：ef,positive examples are the catalyst for children’s development,from which they all stand to benefit.Therefore,we should actively support and advocate this practice;additionally,we must be acutely aware of the detrimental effects of negative examples to ensure children’s growth stays on course.

批改：结尾段很好地总结了全文，句式丰富

四、考研英语作文评分

得分：17

总评与修改建议

你的作文展现了出色的语言运用能力，特别是在比喻修辞方面，"brush"与"shackles"、"catalyst"等词的运用准确而生动，正反对比的论证结构也很清晰。这些优点让你的作文在语言层面表现突出。

如果要进一步提升，建议在两个方面多加注意：一是优化句式结构，避免过多逗号连接造成的松散感，可以适当运用非谓语动词、从句等复杂结构；二是确保论证角度与主题的紧密贴合，比如将"传统文化"这个稍显宏大的角度，更具体地聚焦于"家庭教育的传承"。相信在保持现有语言优势的基础上，通过在这些细节上的完善，你的作文一定能更加出色。

读完本文，你对2016年考研英语一大作文的考研英语一写作冲刺写作思路是否有了更清晰的把握？启航教育为2027考研人整理的考研英语写作高分资料包，包含近年真题、高分模板、热点话题预测，在线咨询即可免费领取。