考研英语写作模板命题趋势越来越关注社会热点与考生思辨能力。本文带来的2017年考研英语一批改范例,透过图表/图画深挖现象背后的本质,由启航教育老师逐段精批,可帮助考生建立稳定的考研英语写作思维框架。
一、考研英语一2017年大作文题目
考研英语一2017年大作文52. Directions: Write an essay of 160-200 words based on the following pictures. In your essay, you should1) describe the pictures briefly, 2) interpret the meaning, and 3) give your comments. You should write neatly on the ANSWER SHEET. (20 points)
二、考研英语一2017年大作文批改例文
In the left-hand picture, there is a man sitting in front of a bookcase, and saying that he has lots of books, On the contrary, in the right-hand, a man who has read almost 20 books this year still try to read more. Evidently, the picture intends to convey to readers that t hard-working is the brush that paints a bright future, while sloth is the shackle that hinders progress.
This phenomenon is thought-provoking in several ways, but two of them are particularly significant. On the one hand, in modern society full of changes, chances, and challenges, hard-working has become a key factor that distinguishes exceptional individuals from ordinary people, and its significance has become increasingly evident. On the other hand, sloth can harm relationships, erode trust and respect, and cause the loss of opportunities and resources. It can also damage personal image and reputation, leading to exclusion and failure in work and social situations.
In brief, hard-working is the catalyst for societal and personal development, from which we all stand to benefit. Therefore, we should actively support and advocate this quality; additionally, we must be acutely aware of the detrimental effects of sloth to ensure our growth stays on course.
三、考研英语作文批改
原文:In the left-hand picture, there is a man sitting in front of a bookcase, and saying that he has lots of books,
批改:能清晰描述左边图片中人物的位置和话语内容
原文:On the contrary, in the right-hand, a man who has read almost 20 books this year still try to read more.
批改:“in the right - hand”表述不完整,应是“in the right - hand picture”;“try”形式错误,主语“a man”是第三人称单数,应改为“tries”。
原文:Evidently, the picture intends to convey to readers that t hard-working is the brush that paints a bright future, while sloth is the shackle that hinders progress.
批改:“t hard - working”多了一个“t”
原文:his phenomenon is thought-provoking in several ways, but two of them are particularly significant.
批改:起到承上启下作用,引出下文对现象的分析,表达清晰。
原文:On the one hand, in modern society full of changes, chances, and challenges, hard-working has become a key factor that distinguishes exceptional individuals from ordinary people, and its significance has become increasingly evident.
批改:阐述了在现代社会中勤奋的重要性,逻辑清晰
原文:On the other hand, sloth can harm relationships, erode trust and respect, and cause the loss of opportunities and resources.
批改:清晰说明了懒惰的危害之一,表达简洁明了。
原文:It can also damage personal image and reputation, leading to exclusion and failure in work and social situations.
批改:进一步阐述了懒惰的其他危害,逻辑连贯。
原文:In brief, hard-working is the catalyst for societal and personal development, from which we all stand to benefit.
批改:总结了勤奋对社会和个人发展的积极作用,观点明确。
原文: Therefore, we should actively support and advocate this quality; additionally, we must be acutely aware of the detrimental effects of sloth to ensure our growth stays on course.
批改:提出了倡导勤奋和警惕懒惰的建议,逻辑合理。
四、考研英语作文评分
得分:15/20
题目要求:作文基本遵循了题目要求,依次对图片进行了简要描述,解读了其寓意,并给出了自己的评论,整体框架较为清晰,符合题目中“描述图片、解读寓意、给出评论”的指令。
语言表达:在阐述观点时,使用了一些较为准确的词汇,如“distinguishes...from...”(区分……和……)、“erode”(侵蚀)、“acutely aware of”(敏锐地意识到)等,显示出有一定的词汇积累。
内容层面:明确表达了勤奋对社会和个人发展的重要性,以及懒惰的危害,观点清晰,易于理解。
修改建议:系统复习语法知识,重点检查主谓一致、句子成分残缺等常见语法问题,并进行修正。例如,将“try”改为“tries”,“in the right - hand”改为“in the right - hand picture”。
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