启航教育在考研英语写作教学中反复强调:词汇与句式的高级化是考研英语作文高分的关键。本文整理的2011年考研英语一批改范例,几乎每一段都包含高分替换词与衔接词,是考研英语一作文范文写作锦囊中的代表性范文。
一、考研英语一2011年大作文题目
考研英语一2011年大作文Directions:Write an essay of 160-200 words based on the following drawing. In your essay, you should1) describe the drawing briefly,2) explain its intended meaning, and3) give your comments.You should write neatly on ANSWER SHEET 2. (20 points)
二、考研英语一2011年大作文批改例文
As shown in the picture, there is a woman, throwing rubbish into the river, and reading a book with a man. Evidently, the picture intends to convey to readers that lack of self-quality is an issue that requires great attention both in our personal lives and in society.
This phenomenon is thought-provoking in several ways, but two of them are particularly significant. First and foremost, lack of self-quality can harm relationships, erode trust and respect, and cause the loss of opportunities and resources. It can also damage personal image and reputation, leading to exclusion and failure in work and social situations. What is more, tragically, although the lack of clear rules and regulation might contribute to this phenomenon, its root cause lies in the fact that some individuals, in their pursuit of economic interests, have disregarded the virtue of self-quality.
How can we put an end to the problem of neglect self-quality? It is suggested by many that we need a package deal, including strengthening moral education and enhancing supervision. But would these measures be comprehensive enough? In reality, we also need to foster the virtue of self-quality deliberately. With the support of these measures, we can effectively tackle the issue at its core.
三、考研英语作文批改
原文:As shown in the picture, there is a woman, throwing rubbish into the river, and reading a book with a man. Evidently, the picture intends to convey to readers that lack of self-quality is an issue that requires great attention both in our personal lives and in society.
批改:主题词如果换成“环保”更为贴切
原文:This phenomenon is thought-provoking in several ways, but two of them are particularly significant. First and foremost, lack of self-quality can harm relationships, erode trust and respect, and cause the loss of opportunities and resources. It can also damage personal image and reputation, leading to exclusion and failure in work and social situations. What is more, tragically, although the lack of clear rules and regulation might contribute to this phenomenon, its root cause lies in the fact that some individuals, in their pursuit of economic interests, have disregarded the virtue of self-quality.
批改:该段落能够将图画背后蕴含的真实意义加以阐述,语言衔接连贯。能够运用逻辑关系词来连接句子,值得表扬。
原文:neglect
批改:of是介词,后加neglecting
原文:How can we put an end to the problem of neglect self-quality? It is suggested by many that we need a package deal, including strengthening moral education and enhancing supervision. But would these measures be comprehensive enough? In reality, we also need to foster the virtue of self-quality deliberately. With the support of these measures, we can effectively tackle the issue at its core.
批改:能够提出自己的建议,起到了总结和再次呼应主题的作用。
四、考研英语作文评分
得分:15/20
内容切题,准确全面的描绘出了图画中的内容。词汇方面,无拼写错误;句式方面,句子结构完整连贯;语法方面,注意介词后加动词ing形式。逻辑结构清晰完整,论证较为充分。能够运用一些逻辑关系词来连接句子,结构清晰。
修改建议:可以看出作文完成的很认真,无论是内容的充分性还是语言的逻辑结构都特别的清晰,值得表扬,最核心的主题词应该是“environment protection”。
对每一位2027考研人而言,考研英语一作文范文都是冲刺阶段必须攻克的难关。启航教育陪伴一届又一届学子走向考研英语写作高分,本文精解的2011年考研英语一范文正是经典参考之一。欢迎关注启航教育,了解更多考研英语备考干货。
【28考研辅导课程推荐】:28考研集训课程,VIP领学计划,28考研VIP全科定制套餐(公共课VIP+专业课1对1) , 这些课程中都会配有内部讲义以及辅导书和资料,同时会有教研教辅双师模式对大家进行教学以及督学,并配有24小时答疑和模拟测试等,可直接咨询在线客服老师领取大额优惠券。
热门下载
资料下载
院校解析
真题解析
考研数学
考研英语
考研政治
考研备考