考研英语一2017年大作文实例分析与批改

备战2017年考研英语大作文，先从研读经典高分范文开始。本文汇集的启航教育批改范文中，不仅有原文、批注，还有词汇注释与亮点解析。准备2027考研的同学，可联系启航教育在线咨询考研英语一写作高分规划。

一、考研英语一2017年大作文题目

考研英语一2017年大作文52. Directions: Write an essay of 160-200 words based on the following pictures. In your essay, you should1) describe the pictures briefly, 2) interpret the meaning, and 3) give your comments. You should write neatly on the ANSWER SHEET. (20 points)

二、考研英语一2017年大作文批改例文

In the left-hand cartoon, there is a boy, lying on the sofa and saying that he has so many books. On the contrary, in the right-hand portrayal, a boy plans to read twenty books this year. Evidently, the cartoon intends to convey to readers that action is the brush that paints a bright future, while sloth is the shackle that hinders progress.

This phenomenon is thought-provoking in several ways, but two of them are particularly significant. First and foremost, sloth not only hinders one’s success, but also acts as an Achilles’ heel that can turn a final step towards heaven into a stepping stone towards hell. What is more, action can ignite our creativity, and promote personal growth and self-fulfillment, thus making life rewarding and meaningful, rather than being self-consuming. Challenges are not walls to block us, but ladders to lift us higher.

In brief, action and bravery are the catalyst for personal development, from which we all stand to benefit. Therefore, we should actively support and advocate this quality and practice.

三、考研英语作文批改

原文：he left-hand cartoon, there is a boy, lying on the sofa and saying that he has so many books. On the contrary, in the right-hand portrayal, a boy plans to read twenty books this year. Evidently, the cartoon intends to convey to readers that action is the brush that paints a bright future, while sloth is the shackle that hinders progress.

批改：你对漫画的对比描述非常简洁到位。段尾的点题句是全文的亮点，使用“brush”和“shackle”这两个比喻，生动有力地揭示了漫画的寓意

原文：phenomenon is thought-provoking in several ways, but two of them are particularly significant. First and foremost, sloth not only hinders one’s success, but also acts as an Achilles’ heel that can turn a final step towards heaven into a stepping stone towards hell. What is more, action can ignite our creativity, and promote personal growth and self-fulfillment, thus making life rewarding and meaningful, rather than being self-consuming. Challenges are not walls to block us, but ladders to lift us higher.

批改：本段从“懒惰的危害”和“行动的益处”正反两方面论证，结构清晰。使用“Achilles’ heel”这样的典故是本文的一大亮点。这里有一个很棒的提升思路：调整一下论证顺序。如果我们先论述“行动的益处”（作为正面激励），再揭示“懒惰的危害”（作为反面警示），这样的逻辑顺序可能更具说服力，也更符合“提出问题-解决方案”的思维习惯。同时，可以将关于“Challenges”的精彩句子融入对“行动”的论述中，使其成为行动克服困难的一部分。

原文：ief, action and bravery are the catalyst for personal development, from which we all stand to benefit. Therefore, we should actively support and advocate this quality and practice.

批改：结尾段总结有力。

四、考研英语作文评分

得分：18

同学，你这篇作文完成得相当出色！结构严谨，文采斐然，特别是开篇的点题句和文中典故的运用，都体现了你丰富的词汇量和修辞技巧。

为你提供几个小建议，希望能助你取得更高分数：

优化论证逻辑：尝试采用“先立后破”的顺序，即先阐述正面行为的价值，再分析反面行为的危害，这样的论证气势更足，逻辑也更顺畅。

确保结论一致：在总结时，请确保使用的关键词与正文的核心论点严格对应，避免引入新的、未充分论证的概念，以保证文章的整体性和连贯性。

保持语言优势：你使用高级词汇和复杂句式的能力非常棒，请一定保持和发扬这个优势。

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