考研英语一2013年大作文失分点批改

2013年考研英语一大作文是考研英语作文模板备考清单中的必练题型。本文带来的高分批改范例，配套启航教育老师的逐句批注与预测话题标签，适合考研英语考生在冲刺阶段精读精练，是一套完整的写作提升资料。

一、考研英语一2013年大作文题目

考研英语一2013年大作文Directions:Write an essay of 160-200 words based on the following drawing. In your essay, you should1) describe the drawing briefly, 2) interpret its intended meaning, and3) give your comments. You should write neatly on the ANSWER SHEET. (20 points)

二、考研英语一2013年大作文批改例文

As shown in the picture, there are many graduate students standing before the crossing road and face different choice, which are seeking a job, taking part in postgraduate entrance exam, going abroad and starting a business respectively. Evidently, the picture intends to convey to readers that it is finding a certain choice that plays an important and positive role both in our personal lives.

This phenomenon is thought-provoking in several ways, but two of them are particularly significant. On the one hand, in modern society full of changes, chances, and challenge, finding the right road has become a key factor that distinguishes exceptional individuals from ordinary people, and its significance has become increasingly evident. One the other hand, if we only follow others’ footsteps blindly, that will deprive us of the ability to think independently and prevent us from shining brightly in future society.

In brief, choosing a certain road is the catalyst for personal development, from which we all stand to benefit. Therefore, we should actively support and advocate this practice, which let us achieve our life target and realize our personal value.

三、考研英语作文批改

原文：standing before th

批改：“standing before the crossing road and face different choice” 中，动词形式不一致，应改为 “standing... and facing different choices”。

原文：g part in postgradua

批改：列举选项时，“taking part in postgraduate entrance exam” 和 “starting a business” 前最好加上冠词 “the” 和 “a”。

原文： Evidently, the picture intends to convey to readers that it is finding a certain choice that p

批改：最后一句点明了漫画寓意，但 “finding a certain choice” 的表述可以更精准，比如 “making a well-considered choice” 或 “choosing a suitable path”。另外，句末的 “both in our personal lives” 感觉话未说完，与原文的 “and in society” 结构不完整，建议补充完整。

原文：s shown in the picture, there are many graduate students standing before the crossing road and face different choice, which are seeking a job, taking part in postgraduate entrance exam, going abroad and starting a business respectively. Evidently, the picture intends to convey to readers that it is finding a certain choice that plays an important and positive role both in our personal lives.

批改：：你准确地描述了漫画的核心场景，并清晰地概括了其寓意，成功完成了引入话题的任务。主要的提升点在于确保动词形式平行、名词短语完整，以及表意的精准性。

原文：hanges, chances, and

批改：“chances, and challenge” 中， “challenge” 应用复数 “challenges” 以保持并列结构的一致性。

原文：One the other h

批改：“One the other hand” 是 “On the other hand” 的笔误。

原文： phenomenon is thought-provoking in several ways, but two of them are particularly significant. On the one hand, in modern society full of changes, chances, and challenge, finding the right road has become a key factor that distinguishes exceptional individuals from ordinary people, and its significance has become increasingly evident. One the other hand, if we only follow others’ footsteps blindly, that will deprive us of the ability to think independently and prevent us from shining brightly in future society.

批改：原因分析段的结构非常出色，论证角度有说服力

原文：which let us achieve our life target

批改：“which let us achieve...” 中，关系代词 “which” 指代的是 “this practice”，谓语动词应用第三人称单数 “lets”。此外，“life target” 更地道的表达是 “life goals” 或 “aspirations”。

原文：f, choosing a certain road is the catalyst for personal development, from which we all stand to benefit. Therefore, we should actively support and advocate this practice, which let us achieve our life target and realize our personal value.

批改：结尾段总结精炼，并再次点明了正确选择的积极结果

四、考研英语作文评分

得分：16分

总分与总评

这篇作文内容切题，结构完整，层次清晰，熟练地使用了丰富的语法结构和词汇。存在少数语言错误。

总评与修改建议：

你不仅能构建清晰的论证框架，还能运用“catalyst”等精准的高级词汇，并能够从正反两方面进行思辨，这已经达到了相当优秀的水平。

在完成写作后，可以进行一次快速的“细节检查”，重点关注名词的单复数（如challenges, choices）、固定搭配（如On the other hand）和主谓一致（如which lets...）。这能确保你的精彩内容毫无瑕疵。

可以尝试使用更多样的主语来开头句子（如使用 “Those who...” 从句），这能让你的行文更显老练。

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