考研英语一2016年大作文写作方向与示例

作为考研英语备考的核心模块，2016年考研英语一大作文承载了大量学生的提分期待。本文带来的这篇批改例文，紧扣考研英语一作文真题常见话题，由启航教育资深英语教研团队逐句批改，详细标注语法、词汇与逻辑三大失分点，是考研英语写作提分的优质资料。

一、考研英语一2016年大作文题目

考研英语一2016年大作文52. Directions: Write an essay of 160-200 words based on the following pictures. In your essay, you should1) describe the pictures briefly, 2) interpret the meaning, and3) give your comments. You should write neatly on the ANSWER SHEET. (20 points)

二、考研英语一2016年大作文批改例文

The pictures reflect that the father and the son have the different ways in communication. The picture on the left suggests that the father gives the demand to his son. The picture on the right suggests the father gain knowledge，which can make a role model for his son.

Different ways in the education can lead to `varieties of results. The fact that the parent cannot make the active role model suggests that the child cannot catch up with the increasing demand from the father.Parents can encourage childs to choose the books for studying, which help their childs to improve the ability of getting knowledge. In other words, the effective communication and the strength of the role model can improve mutual understanding and the relationship . The homework can be finished by the support from the role model.

In my view, it is necessary for parents to improve the way of getting along with their childs. Parents should set the good example and resist the dark side. only in this way so can we promote children"s life wonderful.

三、考研英语作文批改

原文： pictures reflect that the father and the son have the different ways in communication. The picture on the left suggests that the father gives the demand to his son. The picture on the right suggests the father gain knowledge，which can make a role model for his son.

批改： 你成功描述了两幅图画的核心差异，并点出了“榜样”这个关键词。

原文：ather gain knowled

批改：“the father gain knowledge” 存在主谓不一致，应改为 “the father is gaining knowledge” 或 “the father seeks knowledge”。

原文：fferent ways in the education can lead to `varieties of results. The fact that the parent cannot make the active role model suggests that the child cannot catch up with the increasing demand from the father.Parents can encourage childs to choose the books for studying, which help their childs to improve the ability of getting knowledge. In other words, the effective communication and the strength of the role model can improve mutual understanding and the relationship . The homework can be finished by the support from the role model.

批改：本段分析了不同教育方式的结果，并提出了建议，思路是好的。

原文：`varieties of results. The fact that the parent cannot make the active role model suggests that the child canno

批改：`varieties of” 前面的符号是笔误，应为 “a variety of”（多种多样的）。“childs” 是错误拼写，复数形式是 “children”。“the ability of getting knowledge” 表达不自然，更地道的说法是 “the ability to acquire knowledge” 或 “learning skills”。

原文：onship . The homework can be finished by the support from the role mod

批改：最后一句 “The homework can be finished by the support from the role model” 表述非常生硬，且过于具体和狭隘。可以升华到更一般的层面：“With a role model"s support, children are more likely to develop self-discipline and complete their tasks independently

原文：my view, it is necessary for parents to improve the way of getting along with their childs. Parents should set the good example and resist the dark side. only in this way so can we promote children"s life wonderful.

批改： 结尾段提出了明确的观点和呼吁。

原文：childs

批改：“childs” 拼写错误，应为 “children”。“resist the dark side” 这个表达比较模糊且过于戏剧化，在教育类文章中不太适用，可以改为 “and avoid negative behaviors”。

原文：hould set the good example and resist the dark side. only in this way so can we promote children"s life

批改：only in this way so can we” 是一个常见的句式杂糅错误。正确的结构是 “Only in this way can we...”，不需要再加 “so”。最后 “promote children"s life wonderful” 结构错误，可以改为 “make children"s lives more fulfilling” 或 “ensure a brighter future for our children”。

四、考研英语作文评分

得分：15分

总评：

你的文章成功完成了基本的描述和立意任务，结构清晰。当前阶段，提升的关键在于大幅提高语言表达的基本准确性和增强句子、段落之间的逻辑连贯性。

修改建议在动笔前，先用中文理清一个清晰的逻辑链条。比如：父亲命令 -> 孩子可能被动应付 -> 父亲以身作则 -> 孩子主动模仿 -> 效果更好。然后，再选用你最有把握的简单且正确的英语句型将这个逻辑清晰地表达出来。宁可句子简短，也要保证主谓一致、名词复数和常用搭配（如set an example）等基础环节万无一失。

读完本文，你对2016年考研英语一大作文的考研英语一作文真题写作思路是否有了更清晰的把握？启航教育为2027考研人整理的考研英语写作高分资料包，包含近年真题、高分模板、热点话题预测，在线咨询即可免费领取。