考研英语一2016年大作文写作方向与示例

距离2027考研英语初试已不足一年，写作冲刺阶段高效的复习方式就是精研历年真题高分范文。本文精解的2016年考研英语一批改范例，紧扣考研英语一写作冲刺写作锦囊要点，全文结构严谨、表达地道，适合所有2027考生。

一、考研英语一2016年大作文题目

考研英语一2016年大作文52. Directions: Write an essay of 160-200 words based on the following pictures. In your essay, you should1) describe the pictures briefly, 2) interpret the meaning, and3) give your comments. You should write neatly on the ANSWER SHEET. (20 points)

二、考研英语一2016年大作文批改例文

In the left-hand cartoon,there"s a father smoking and watching TV,while demanding his son to study hard.On the contrary,in the right-hand portraryal,both the father and son are devoted to their studies.Evidently,the cartoonist intends to convey to readers that positive examples are the brush that hinder their progress.

This phenomenon is thought-provoking in several ways,but two of them are particularly important.On the other hand,while certain Chinese traditions may be outdated,the principle of leading by example is one that should never lose its luster,as it is an essential bond that keeps the Chinese nation thriving.On the other hand,negative examples set by parents are like heavy chains that hinder children"s progress,leaving them with a negative outlook on life and preventing them from shining brightly in future society.

In brief, positive examples are the catalyst for children"s develoment, from which they allstand to benefit. Therefore, we should actively support and advocate this racicic; adidiolwe must be acutely aware of the detrimental effects of negative examples to ensure children"s growth stays on course.

三、考研英语作文批改

原文： portraryal

批改：portraryal -> portrayal (拼写调整)

原文：he left-hand cartoon,there"s a father smoking and watching TV,while demanding his son to study hard.On the contrary,in the right-hand portraryal,both the father and son are devoted to their studies.Evidently,the cartoonist intends to convey to readers that positive examples are the brush that hinder their progress.

批改：你对漫画的对比描述非常简洁到位。段尾的点题意图也很好。核心问题在于最后的比喻句，将“积极榜样”说成是“阻碍进步的画笔”，这与你要表达的意思完全相反。我们只需要将这个比喻修正并补充完整，就能准确地传达出漫画的寓意。

原文：phenomenon is thought-provoking in several ways,but two of them are particularly important.On the other hand,while certain Chinese traditions may be outdated,the principle of leading by example is one that should never lose its luster,as it is an essential bond that keeps the Chinese nation thriving.On the other hand,negative examples set by parents are like heavy chains that hinder children"s progress,leaving them with a negative outlook on life and preventing them from shining brightly in future society.

批改：本段从“优良传统”和“反面危害”正反两方面论证，思路是正确的。将“以身作则”视为民族延续的“essential bond”，这个立意很高

原文：rief, positive examples are the catalyst for children"s develoment, from which they allstand to benefit. Therefore, we should actively support and advocate this racicic; adidiolwe must be acutely aware of the detrimental effects of negative examples to ensure children"s growth stays on course.

批改：结尾段总结有力，再次点明核心观点。“catalyst”（催化剂）这个词是本文的亮点之一。

原文：hey allstan

批改：allstand -> all stand (拼写调整)

四、考研英语作文评分

得分：16

你的作文立意准确，结构完整，并且能使用高级词汇和正反对比的论证方法，这些都是很大的优点。当前的主要挑战在于一处关键的逻辑矛盾、一些影响理解的拼写错误和逻辑连接词的使用。

总评与建议

同学，你的这篇作文展现了清晰的写作思路和良好的潜力！为了帮助你更稳定地提升，我想给你几个小建议：

仔细审读，避免矛盾：在完成文章后，请务必重点检查点明主旨的核心句子，确保其表达的意思与你的论证意图完全一致。

巩固逻辑衔接：可以系统地复习一下“On the one hand... On the other hand...”, “First... Second...”, “Furthermore...”等连接词的用法，让文章的层次更分明。

保持思辨优势：你尝试从民族文化角度进行论证，这是一个很好的思维习惯，请继续保持。同时，可以尝试为抽象的论点补充一个具体的例证，让文章更有说服力。

透过这篇2016年考研英语一批改范文，相信你对考研英语一写作冲刺的写作框架有了更深入的认识。启航教育长期为考研英语考生提供一对一专业作文批改，从词汇、语法到结构系统诊断失分点，欢迎在线咨询预约免费批改名额。