2021年考研英语一大作文真题与例文批改

考研英语作文失分点多、提分空间大，一直是2021年考研英语一备考生核心痛点之一。本文围绕考研英语一作文真题话题，给出一篇经过启航教育老师精细批改的高分范文，文中不仅有逐句批注，还附有可复制的考研英语一高分写作模板。

一、2021年考研英语一大作文题目

考研英语一2021年大作文52. Directions: Write an essay of 160-200 words based on the picture below. In your essay, you should1)describe the picture briefly, 2)interpret the implied meaning, and 3)give your comments. Write your answer on the ANSWER SHEET. (20 points)

二、2021年考研英语一大作文批改例文

As shown in the cartoon, there is a kid, playing the Monkey King to practice Chinese opera, and talking with his father (about the fact that his classmates don’t think Chinese opera is fun. But in his father’s opinion, if you love it, why not do this?

Evidently, the cartoonist intends to convey to readers that one’s passions and interests are the brush that paints a bright future, while others’ negative opinions are the shackle that hinders progress.

This phenomenon is thought-provoking in several ways, but two of them are particularly significant. To start with, pursuing one’s ordinary passions and interests brings numerous benefits to the growth of teenagers. Its core driving force stems from teenagers’ desire to step out of their comfort zones and embrace a broader future.

What’s more, others’ negative opinions are like heavy chains that hinder children’s progress, leaving them with a negative outlook on life, depriving them of the ability to think independently, and preventing them from shining brightly in future society.

In brief, one’s personal passions and interests are the catalyst for societal and personal development, from which we all stand to benefit. Therefore, we should actively support and advocate for this attitude: we should actively promote and carry forward traditional culture; additionally, we must be acutely aware of the detrimental effects of others’ negative opinions to ensure our growth stays on course.

三、考研英语作文批改

原文： shown in the cartoon, there is a kid, playing the Monkey King to practice Chinese opera, and talking with his father (about the fact that his classmates don’t think Chinese opera is fun. But in his father’s opinion, if you love it, why not do this?

批改：本段成功描述了图画场景

原文：ently, the cartoonist intends to convey to readers that one’s passions and interests are the brush that paints a bright future, while others’ negative opinions are the shackle that hinders progress. This phenomenon is thought-provoking in several ways, but two of them are particularly significant. To start with, pursuing one’s ordinary passions and interests brings numerous benefits to the growth of teenagers. Its core driving force stems from teenagers’ desire to step out of their comfort zones and embrace a broader future.

批改：这两段点明了寓意并展开了正反论证，逻辑清晰。“heavy chains”的比喻与“shackle”形成了很好的呼应。

原文：t’s more, others’ negative opinions are like heavy chains that hinder children’s progress, leaving them with a negative outlook on life, depriving them of the ability to think independently, and preventing them from shining brightly in future society. In brief, one’s personal passions and interests are the catalyst for societal and personal development, from which we all stand to benefit. Therefore, we should actively support and advocate for this attitude: we should actively promote and carry forward traditional culture; additionally, we must be acutely aware of the detrimental effects of others’ negative opinions to ensure our growth stays on course.

批改：结尾段总结有力，“catalyst”一词用得精准。

四、考研英语作文评分

得分：17

你的作文内容切题，结构清晰。主要的提升空间在于论述的集中度和段落间的逻辑衔接。

总评与建议：

同学，你这篇作文最让老师欣赏的是你精准的立意和地道的修辞。你不仅能准确解读漫画，还能运用精彩的比喻让说理非常生动，这非常难得！

当前，我们可以集中精力提升论述的集中度与逻辑的流畅性。你的文章有很好的“部件”，现在需要让它们的组合更优化。我的核心建议是：

保持论点聚焦：在写作时，确保每一个句子，尤其是核心段落，都紧密地围绕你文章的唯一主题展开。当一个更好的例子出现时，思考它是否服务于核心论点，避免引入可能分散注意力的内容。

优化段落衔接：尝试将高度相关的段落（如点明寓意和展开论证）合并，并使用 “Firstly,”, “Conversely,” 等连接词，这能使文章脉络更清晰，逻辑推动力更强。

如果你也想让自己的考研英语一作文拿到理想分数，可以将本文的范文与老师批注作为标杆反复研读。同时，启航教育2027考研英语斌哥写作锦囊冲刺抢分班已正式启动报名，在线咨询可获考研英语一作文真题高分资料礼包。