2021年考研英语二大作文失分点批改

本文整理了2021年考研英语二大作文真题原文及高分批改例文，是备考考研英语作文真题范文的实用素材。考研英语作文在考研英语中占据重要分值，历年真题范文能够帮助考生快速把握命题规律与评分要点，下面让我们一同走进这篇批改范文。

一、2021年考研英语二大作文题目

考研英语二2021年大作文48. Directions: Write an essay based on the chart below. In your writing, you should1) interpret the chart, and 2)give your comments. You should write about 150 words on the ANSWER SHEET. (15 points)

二、2021年考研英语二大作文批改例文

The bar chart clearly displays the percentage breakdown of the survey of the exercise of certain city citizen. Exercise alone takes the lead at 54.3%, followed by together with friends at 47.7%. Additionally, factors such as together with family,team activity are also considered, accounting for 23.9%,15,8%.

The care reasons for the observed phenomenon can be summarized as follows. To start with, as the conductor orchestrating the symphony of changes, our government has made tremendous efforts to build a sound healthy system, enabling people to have ample ways for further exercise.In addition, as we all know, the outbreak of COVID-19 has impacted every aspect of our lives, signifcantly altering people"s behaviors and choices.Consequently, an increasing number of individuals have started paying more attention to health, considering these factors, the depicted phenomenon in the chart is unsurprising.

what about future trends? I am confident that the above statistical figures accurately and truthfully reflect the choices of people, serving as a microcosm of the changes in the era, and will likely remain relatively stable in the following decades.

三、考研英语作文批改

原文：together with friends

批改：“together with friends” 和 “together with family” 是介词短语，直接放在 “followed by” 后面不太规范，建议改为 “exercising with friends” 和 “exercising with family” 这样的动名词短语作名词使用。

原文：5,8

批改：“15,8%” 应改为 “15.8%”，注意英语中常用句点作为小数点。

原文： care reasons for the observed phenomenon can be summarized as follows. To start with, as the conductor orchestrating the symphony of changes, our government has made tremendous efforts to build a sound healthy system, enabling people to have ample ways for further exercise.In addition, as we all know, the outbreak of COVID-19 has impacted every aspect of our lives, signifcantly altering people"s behaviors and choices.Consequently, an increasing number of individuals have started paying more attention to health, considering these factors, the depicted phenomenon in the chart is unsurprising.

批改： 从政府作用和新冠疫情两个角度分析，特别是引入疫情这个现实因素，让论证很有时代感，这是个亮点！

原文：care reasons for the observed phenomenon can be summarized as follows. To start with, as the conductor orchestrating the symphony of changes, our government has made tremendous efforts to build

批改：“care reasons” 应该是笔误，建议改为 “core reasons”。“signifcantly” 拼写有误，应为 “significantly”。

原文：, considering these factors, the depicted phenomenon in the chart is unsurprisi

批改：最后一句 “Consequently... is unsurprising” 实际上包含了两个完整的句子，只用逗号连接是不够的，这是典型的“逗号粘连”错误。可以在 “health” 后面改为句号，然后另起一句：“Considering these factors...”。

原文：hat about future trends? I am confident that the above statistical figures accurately and truthfully reflect the choices of people, serving as a microcosm of the changes in the era, and will likely remain relatively stable in the following decades.

批改：本段很好地完成了预测未来的任务。“a microcosm of the changes in the era（时代变迁的缩影）”这个表达非常出彩，显示了你的词汇量和思考深度。

原文：what a

批改：开头 “what” 应大写为 “What”

四、考研英语作文评分

得分：11分

总体评分与建议

总评：

内容要点：完整描述了数据，并从两个不同层面分析了原因，内容充实。

语言运用：能使用“microcosm”, “orchestrating”等高级词汇和复杂结构，亮点突出。主要失分点在于个别搭配的准确性和句间衔接的细节处理。连贯与衔接：段落结构清晰，使用了逻辑连接词。

你已经能写出很漂亮的句子了，现在需要特别注意句子之间是用逗号连在一起，还是应该用句号分开。写好后再通读一遍，这个感觉就会慢慢培养起来。

对2021年考研英语二大作文的精读，让我们再一次感受到考研英语作文真题范文写作的命题趋势和得分要点。启航教育会持续发布考研英语写作干货，欢迎添加在线咨询老师，领取2027写作预测话题与范文精解，预约免费批改名额。