作为考研英语备考的核心模块,2011年考研英语二大作文承载了大量学生的提分期待。本文带来的这篇批改例文,紧扣考研英语二作文真题常见话题,由启航教育资深英语教研团队逐句批改,详细标注语法、词汇与逻辑三大失分点,是考研英语写作提分的优质资料。
一、2011年考研英语二大作文题目
考研英语二2011年大作文Write an essay based on the following chart. In your writing, you should 1) interpret the chart and 2) give your comments. You should write at least 150 words. Write your essay on ANSWER SHEET 2. (15 points)
二、2011年考研英语二大作文批改例文
The bar chart clearly depicts the percentage of china’s car market from 2008 to 2009,in 2008,the percentage of Demostic brands was 25%,but by 2009,this rate had risen adout 7%.In contrast,the percentage of Japanese brands decrease to 10% and The American brands remain steadily on the same period.
The phenomenon is thougth-provoking in several ways .but two of them are particularly significant .To start with ,in the wake of the high-speed advancement of society, people"s purchasing methods of car have undergone significant changes,they also pursue made in china,this explains why an increasing number of individuals choose china’s car rather than others.In addition ,particularly born in the 1900s and 2000s are accustomed to usng domestic appliances and have become the primary consumer group.
What about future trends? I’m confident that the above statistical figures accurately and truthfully reflect the choices of prople,the percentage of Domestic brands will steadily increase and the percentage of Japanese brands will likely remain decrease in the following decades.
三、考研英语作文批改
原文:china’s
批改:China"s大写
原文:,
批改:句号
原文:in
批改:In大写
原文:Demostic
批改:domestic
原文:adout
批改:about
原文:decrease
批改:decreased注意时态
原文:The
批改:the
原文:remain
批改:remained
原文:steadily
批改:steady
原文:on
批改:用介词in
原文:he bar chart clearly depicts the percentage of china’s car market from 2008 to 2009,in 2008,the percentage of Demostic brands was 25%,but by 2009,this rate had risen adout 7%.In contrast,the percentage of Japanese brands decrease to 10% and The American brands remain steadily on the same period.
批改:在描述图表信息时要注意语言的准确性。
原文:thougth
批改:thought
批改:逗号
原文:,
批改:用分号,或在they前加and
批改:加宾语brands
原文:china
批改:China
原文:,
批改:句号
原文:this
批改:this首字母大写
原文:china’s
批改:China"s
原文:particularly
批改:改成young people, particularly those ....
批改:加逗号
原文:usng
批改:using
原文:The phenomenon is thougth-provoking in several ways .but two of them are particularly significant .To start with ,in the wake of the high-speed advancement of society, people"s purchasing methods of car have undergone significant changes,they also pursue made in china,this explains why an increasing number of individuals choose china’s car rather than others.In addition ,particularly born in the 1900s and 2000s are accustomed to usng domestic appliances and have become the primary consumer group.
批改:能够运用逻辑关系词对图表中的现象进行分析论述,注意避免小的语言错误。
原文:prople
批改:people
原文:the
批改:前加连接词and
原文:remain
批改:remain去掉,
原文:What about future trends? I’m confident that the above statistical figures accurately and truthfully reflect the choices of prople,the percentage of Domestic brands will steadily increase and the percentage of Japanese brands will likely remain decrease in the following decades.
批改:能够对图表中的现象进行总结和预测,言简意赅。
四、考研英语作文评分
得分:8/15
1)内容符合题目的要求,能够准确全面的描绘出图表中的内容,但是语言错误较多。
2)词汇方面,基础词汇一定要避免拼写错误,要注意词性的正确用法;句式和语法方面,要注意正确使用标点符号断句,以及注意句子结构的完整;
3)逻辑结构清晰完整,论证较为充分。能够运用一些逻辑关系词来连接句子,符合英语句子结构的要求。
4)修改建议:内容充分,语言逻辑清晰,值得表扬。一定要细心一些,注意避免以上小的细节问题。再接再厉。
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