考研英语作文失分点多、提分空间大,一直是2021年考研英语二备考生核心痛点之一。本文围绕考研英语二作文模板话题,给出一篇经过启航教育老师精细批改的高分范文,文中不仅有逐句批注,还附有可复制的考研英语二高分写作模板。
一、2021年考研英语二大作文题目
考研英语二2021年大作文48. Directions: Write an essay based on the chart below. In your writing, you should1) interpret the chart, and 2)give your comments. You should write about 150 words on the ANSWER SHEET. (15 points)
二、2021年考研英语二大作文批改例文
The bar chart clearly displays the percentage breakdown of various ways of physical exercise among the citizens in a certain city. Exercise alone takes the lead at 54.3%, followed by exercise with friends at 47.7%. Additionally, factors such as exercise with families and team activities are also considered, accounting for 23.9% and 15.8% respectively.
The core reasons for the observed phenomenon can be summarized as follows. To start with, as the conductor orchestrating the symphony of changes, our government has made tremendous efforts to build a sound physical exercise system, which includes plenty of gyms, stadiums and parks, enabling residents to exercise with their families and friends. In addition, as the saying goes, "On life’s stage, pressure is always present." Nowadays, the residents are compelled to confront immense work pressure, and as a result, exercise alone has emerged as their primary choice for utilizing leisure time. Considering these factors, the depicted phenomenon in the chart is unsurprising.
What about future trends? I"m firmly confident that the above statistical figures accurately and truthfully reflect the choices of the citizens, serving as a microcosm of the changes in the era, and will likely remain relatively stable in the following decades.
三、考研英语作文批改
原文:factors
批改:“factors”(因素)不符合语境,此处应指 “锻炼方式”,需改为forms或 types
原文:exercise with families
批改:exercising with family
原文:The bar chart clearly displays the percentage breakdown of various ways of physical exercise among the citizens in a certain city. Exercise alone takes the lead at 54.3%, followed by exercise with friends at 47.7%. Additionally, factors such as exercise with families and team activities are also considered, accounting for 23.9% and 15.8% respectively.
批改:列出四种锻炼方式占比
原文:The core reasons for the observed phenomenon can be summarized as follows. To start with, as the conductor orchestrating the symphony of changes, our government has made tremendous efforts to build a sound physical exercise system, which includes plenty of gyms, stadiums and parks, enabling residents to exercise with their families and friends. In addition, as the saying goes, "On life’s stage, pressure is always present." Nowadays, the residents are compelled to confront immense work pressure, and as a result, exercise alone has emerged as their primary choice for utilizing leisure time. Considering these factors, the depicted phenomenon in the chart is unsurprising.
批改:用“政府设施+工作压力”双因解释,逻辑清晰
原文:What about future trends? I"m firmly confident that the above statistical figures accurately and truthfully reflect the choices of the citizens, serving as a microcosm of the changes in the era, and will likely remain relatively stable in the following decades.
批改:简短预测未来趋势
原文:Nowadays, the residents are compelled to confront immense work pressure, and as a result, exercise alone has emerged as their primary choice for utilizing leisure time
批改:可以适当拓展,如 “多数居民通勤时间长、加班频繁,碎片化的‘独自锻炼’无需协调他人时间,更适配快节奏生活”
原文:Considering these factors, the depicted phenomenon in the chart is unsurprising
批改:针对 “团队活动占比低”,可额外补充原因,如 “团队活动需固定场地和组织成本,且受限于居民的空闲时间,因此参与度最低”,让分析更全面。
四、考研英语作文评分
得分:12/15
1.题目要求:字数符合题目要求。文章需要分析图表并写出自己的观点,符合题目要求。
2.语言表达:语言表达清晰。没有明显语法错误和拼写错误。
3.内容层面:文章的结构清晰,有明确的开头、中间和结尾,逻辑连贯。
4.修改意见:这篇文章有效地分析了图表信息,并提供了原因和未来趋势的预测。没有明显语法错误和拼写错误、整体结构和逻辑清晰。语言表达提升了,可以尝试用自己的语言写作,将对题目的理解用自己的话语表达出来。
如果你也想让自己的考研英语二作文拿到理想分数,可以将本文的范文与老师批注作为标杆反复研读。同时,启航教育2027考研英语斌哥写作锦囊冲刺抢分班已正式启动报名,在线咨询可获考研英语二作文模板高分资料礼包。
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