当你坐在考研英语二考场,面对2021年大作文题目的那一瞬间,是否能快速组织起一篇结构清晰、表达地道的高分文章?本文这篇批改例文,正是考研英语二作文范文话题下的标准范本,适合每一位考研英语备考生反复研读。
一、2021年考研英语二大作文题目
考研英语二2021年大作文48. Directions: Write an essay based on the chart below. In your writing, you should1) interpret the chart, and 2)give your comments. You should write about 150 words on the ANSWER SHEET. (15 points)
二、2021年考研英语二大作文批改例文
The bar chart clearly displays the percentage breakdown of the exercise ways of residents in certain city. Doing exercise alone takes the lead at 54.3%, followed by doing exercise with friends at 47.7%.Additionally, factors such as doing exercise with family and collective activities are also considered, accounting for 23.9% and 15.8%.
The core reasons for the observed phenomenon can be summazied as follows.
To start with, as the saying goes. "In life"s stage, pressure is always present." Nowadays, young people are compelled to confront immense pressure, and as a result, doing sports lonely has emerged as their significant choice for utilizing leisure time. In addition. as we all known, the outbreak of COVID-19 has impacted every aspect of our life, significantly altering our behaviors and choices. An increasing number of individuals have started paying more attention to health.
What about the future trends? I am confident that the statistical figures accurately and truthfully reflect the choices of residents, serving as a microcosm of changes in the era. and will likely remain relatively stable in the following decades.
三、考研英语作文批改
原文:certain
批改:前面要加冠词a
原文:The bar chart clearly displays the percentage breakdown of the exercise ways of residents in certain city. Doing exercise alone takes the lead at 54.3%, followed by doing exercise with friends at 47.7%.Additionally, factors such as doing exercise with family and collective activities are also considered, accounting for 23.9% and 15.8%.
批改:对图标的描述较为全面,注意冠词的使用
原文:summazied
批改:summarized
批改:这里不需要分段
批改:逗号
原文:In
批改:On
原文:lonely
批改:lonely 表示孤独的,这里用alone(独自)更恰当
批改:逗号
原文:known
批改:要用原型know
原文:life
批改:要用复数 lives
批改:逗号
原文:The core reasons for the observed phenomenon can be summazied as follows. To start with, as the saying goes. "In life"s stage, pressure is always present." Nowadays, young people are compelled to confront immense pressure, and as a result, doing sports lonely has emerged as their significant choice for utilizing leisure time. In addition. as we all known, the outbreak of COVID-19 has impacted every aspect of our life, significantly altering our behaviors and choices. An increasing number of individuals have started paying more attention to health.
批改:从压力和疫情角度论述了独自运动的占比较高的原因,注意语法和标点问题
原文:What about the future trends? I am confident that the statistical figures accurately and truthfully reflect the choices of residents, serving as a microcosm of changes in the era. and will likely remain relatively stable in the following decades.
批改:表达个人观点,注意标点
四、考研英语作文评分
得分:11/15
题目要求:对图表信息描绘全面准确,个人观点及论述内容符合题意;
语言表达:全文用了较多的经典句式,但也有一些语法和标点问题,可以注意下;
行文逻辑:第一段描述题干内容,第二段分析原因,第三表达观点,整体架构完整;
修改建议:改正原文错误;继续积累经典句式并熟练使用;加强语法练习;注意标点的使用;
这篇还不错,继续加油~
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