考研英语一2016年大作文写作方向与示例

作为考研英语备考的核心模块，2016年考研英语一大作文承载了大量学生的提分期待。本文带来的这篇批改例文，紧扣考研英语一作文模板常见话题，由启航教育资深英语教研团队逐句批改，详细标注语法、词汇与逻辑三大失分点，是考研英语写作提分的优质资料。

一、考研英语一2016年大作文题目

考研英语一2016年大作文52. Directions: Write an essay of 160-200 words based on the following pictures. In your essay, you should1) describe the pictures briefly, 2) interpret the meaning, and3) give your comments. You should write neatly on the ANSWER SHEET. (20 points)

二、考研英语一2016年大作文批改例文

In the left cartoon,there is a father smoking and watching TV while pressing his son to study.On the contrary,in the right portrayal,there is a father studying with his son.Evidently.the cartoonist intends to convey to readers that it is good example that plays an important and positive role both in our personal lives and in society.

The phenomenon is thought-provoking in several ways,but two of them are particularly significant.First and foremost,while certain Chinese traditions may be outdated,the spirit of good examples should never lose its luster,as it is a crucial piece in shaping the admirable character of the Chinese people.what is more,the spirit of good examples can nurture our souls,and promote personal growth and self-fulfilling,thus making life rewarding and meaningful,rather than being self-consuming.

In brief,the spirit of good examples is the catalyst for societal and personal development,from which we all stand to benefit.Therefore, we need to actively promote and advocate this spirit.Only by doing so can we develop individual potential.

三、考研英语作文批改

原文：pressing

批改：press是“按，压”的意思，用在这不合适，可以改成pushing

批改：逗号

原文：In the left cartoon,there is a father smoking and watching TV while pressing his son to study.On the contrary,in the right portrayal,there is a father studying with his son.Evidently.the cartoonist intends to convey to readers that it is good example that plays an important and positive role both in our personal lives and in society.

批改：能够完整全面的描述出图画中的现象，并能够直接点明作文的主题。

原文：what

批改：首字母大写

原文：fulfilling

批改：名词fulfillment

原文：The phenomenon is thought-provoking in several ways,but two of them are particularly significant.First and foremost,while certain Chinese traditions may be outdated,the spirit of good examples should never lose its luster,as it is a crucial piece in shaping the admirable character of the Chinese people.what is more,the spirit of good examples can nurture our souls,and promote personal growth and self-fulfilling,thus making life rewarding and meaningful,rather than being self-consuming.

批改：该段落能够将图画背后蕴含的真实意义加以阐述，语言衔接连贯。能够运用逻辑关系词来连接句子，值得表扬。

原文：In brief,the spirit of good examples is the catalyst for societal and personal development,from which we all stand to benefit.Therefore, we need to actively promote and advocate this spirit.Only by doing so can we develop individual potential.

批改：能够提出自己的建议，起到了总结和再次呼应主题的作用。

四、考研英语作文评分

得分：17/20

内容切题，准确全面的描绘出了图画中的内容。词汇方面，注意恰当选词；句式方面，句子结构完整连贯，注意正确使用标点；语法方面，注意区分词性。逻辑结构清晰完整，论证较为充分。能够运用一些逻辑关系词来连接句子，结构清晰。

修改建议：可以看出作文完成的非常认真，无论是内容的充分性还是语言的逻辑结构都特别的清晰，值得表扬。如果能够再注意避免以上的一些小的细节问题会更好。继续加油。

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