考研英语一2016年大作文失分点批改

本文是一份经过启航教育整理的2016年考研英语一大作文批改资料，对照考研英语作文万能句型写作框架与评分标准进行精细讲解。无论是词汇句式、段落衔接还是逻辑展开，本文都能为考研英语考生提供可直接套用的范例。

一、考研英语一2016年大作文题目

考研英语一2016年大作文52. Directions: Write an essay of 160-200 words based on the following pictures. In your essay, you should1) describe the pictures briefly, 2) interpret the meaning, and3) give your comments. You should write neatly on the ANSWER SHEET. (20 points)

二、考研英语一2016年大作文批改例文

写作B节

专主群主突士顛国全 考生姓名

52.

哥英 In the left-hand cartoon, there is a man, sitting in a sofa, watching TV, and asking his son to study hard. On the contrary, in the right-hand portrayal, another man is studying hard with his son. Evidently, the cartoonist intends to convey to readers that positive examples are the brush that paints a bright future, while negative examples are the shackle that hinders progress.

This phenomenon is thought-provoking in several ways, but two of them are particularly significant. On the one hand, positive examples can ignite children"s creativity, promote their personal growth and self-fulfillment, thus making their life rewarding and meaningful, rather than being self-consuming. On the other hand, neglective examples are like a heavy chain that hinders children"s progress, leaving them with a negative outlook on life and preventing them from shining brightly in future society.

In brief, positive examples are the catalyst for personal development, from which we all stand to benefit. Therefore, we should actively support and advocate this practice; additionally, we must be acutely aware of the detrimental effects of negative examples to ensure our growth stays on course.

三、考研英语作文批改

原文：in

批改：“on a sofa”（“在沙发上” 用介词 on）

原文：man

批改：“another man” 改为 “another father”，明确身份

原文：life

批改：改为 “their lives”（复数表泛指）

原文： In the left-hand cartoon, there is a man, sitting in a sofa, watching TV, and asking his son to study hard. On the contrary, in the right-hand portrayal, another man is studying hard with his son. Evidently, the cartoonist intends to convey to readers that positive examples are the brush that paints a bright future, while negative examples are the shackle that hinders progress.

批改：描述图片内容，符合题目要求

原文：This phenomenon is thought-provoking in several ways, but two of them are particularly significant. On the one hand, positive examples can ignite children"s creativity, promote their personal growth and self-fulfillment, thus making their life rewarding and meaningful, rather than being self-consuming. On the other hand, neglective examples are like a heavy chain that hinders children"s progress, leaving them with a negative outlook on life and preventing them from shining brightly in future society.

批改：提出了自己的观点，使用了表示逻辑关系的连接词，条理较为清晰

原文：In brief, positive examples are the catalyst for personal development, from which we all stand to benefit. Therefore, we should actively support and advocate this practice; additionally, we must be acutely aware of the detrimental effects of negative examples to ensure our growth stays on course.

批改：结尾升华主题，符合结尾段的内容和逻辑

四、考研英语作文评分

得分：17

原文紧扣 “父母榜样对孩子成长的影响” 这一核心主题，框架完整，逻辑清晰，且运用了比喻修辞（brush/shackle），具备较好的写作基础。语法和句型也掌握的很不错，但是存在个别小问题需要注意。希望可以整体再检查一遍细节上的问题，希望继续努力，加油！

本文的2016年考研英语一高分范文只是启航教育考研英语作文万能句型写作锦囊的一小部分精华。2027考研英语斌哥写作锦囊冲刺抢分班由斌哥主讲，配套锦囊妙句、写作模板、真题批改、精品图书与社群服务，是考研英语写作冲刺的不二之选。