2023年考研英语一大作文是启航考研英语备考清单中的必练题型。本文带来的高分批改范例,配套启航教育老师的逐句批注与预测话题标签,适合考研英语考生在冲刺阶段精读精练,是一套完整的写作提升资料。
一、考研英语一2023年大作文题目
考研英语一2023年大作文52. Directions: Write an essay based on the picture below. In your essay, you should 1) describe the picture briefly, 2) interpret the implied meaning, and 3) give your comments. Write your answer in 160-200 words on the ANSWER SHEET. (20 points)
二、考研英语一2023年大作文批改例文
As shown in the cartoon, there are a couple of grandparents, facing the competition of dragon boat and glading the prosperity of competition. Evidently, the cartoonist intends to convey to readers that it is traditional festival that plays an important role both in our peronal life and in society.
This phenomenon is thought- provoking in several ways but two of them are particularly significant. On the one hand, traditional festival can ignite our creativity, and promote personal growth and self-fulfilment, thus making our life rewarding and meaningful rather than being self-consuming. On the other hand, neglecting the improvance of traditional festival is like a heavy chian that hinders people"s progress,depriving them of the ability to cooperate, and preventing them from shining brightly in the future society.
In brief, traditional festival is the catalyst for personal development and societal,from which we all stand to be benefit.Therefore,we should carry forward traditional festival. Only by doing so can we build a more harmonious society.
三、考研英语作文批改
原文:s shown in the cartoon, there are a couple of grandparents, facing the competition of dragon boat and glading the prosperity of competition. Evidently, the cartoonist intends to convey to readers that it is traditional festival that plays an important role both in our peronal life and in society.
批改:本段成功引入了漫画场景并点明了“传统节日”的主题
原文:s phenomenon is thought- provoking in several ways but two of them are particularly significant. On the one hand, traditional festival can ignite our creativity, and promote personal growth and self-fulfilment, thus making our life rewarding and meaningful rather than being self-consuming. On the other hand, neglecting the improvance of traditional festival is like a heavy chian that hinders people"s progress,depriving them of the ability to cooperate, and preventing them from shining brightly in the future society.
批改:段运用了正反对比的论证方法,逻辑清晰,并且使用了比喻和排比等修辞手法,展现了很好的论证技巧。
原文:ief, traditional festival is the catalyst for personal development and societal,from which we all stand to be benefit.Therefore,we should carry forward traditional festival. Only by doing so can we build a more harmonious society.
批改:结尾段很好地总结了观点并进行了升华。
原文:societal,from which we all stand to be benefit.Therefore,we should carry forward traditional f
批改:societal: 此处“societal”是形容词,不能与“personal development”并列。应使用名词形式 society,或补充为 societal progress。 stand to be benefit: 表达有误,正确的固定搭配是 stand to benefit。
原文: self-fulfilment, thus making our life rewarding and meaningful rather than being self-consuming. O
批改:self-fulfilment: 拼写可选,英式拼写为 self-fulfilment,美式拼写为 self-fulfillment,均可接受。 improvance: 拼写错误,想表达的词应是 importance。
原文:chian that h
批改:chian: 拼写错误,应为 chain。
原文:glading the prosperity o
批改:glading the prosperity: “glading” 可能想表达“高兴地看到”,建议使用更准确的表达,如 taking delight in the vibrant scene。“prosperity of competition” 的搭配可以优化,比如改为 the lively competition 或 the festive atmosphere,以更贴合赛龙舟的场景
原文:peronal life and in so
批改:peronal: 拼写错误,应为 personal。 traditional festival: 此处指代传统节日这一整体概念,作为不可数名词更合适,建议使用 traditional festivals (复数) 或 traditional festival culture。
四、考研英语作文评分
得分:15
总评与修改建议
你的作文框架清晰,论证有力,尤其值得称赞的是在第二段采用了正反对比的论证方法,并使用了生动的比喻,这使你的论述更具说服力。
当前,影响作文得分的主要因素是一些词汇的准确拼写和固定搭配。例如,需要区分形容词(societal)和名词(society)的用法,并记牢“stand to benefit”这样的常见搭配。建议你在完成写作后,专门快速检查一遍这类细节。如果你能建立一个自己的“高频易错词清单”进行针对性记忆,那么你严谨的结构和有力的论证必将得到更充分的展现,作文分数也会更上一层楼。
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