2017年考研英语一大作文属于典型的图表作文,要求考生准确描述数据变化并深入解读现象。本文精解的这篇柱状图批改范例,完整覆盖考研英语一作文范文常考图表的描述思路,是考研英语图表类作文的标杆范例。
一、考研英语一2017年大作文题目
考研英语一2017年大作文52. Directions: Write an essay of 160-200 words based on the following pictures. In your essay, you should1) describe the pictures briefly, 2) interpret the meaning, and 3) give your comments. You should write neatly on the ANSWER SHEET. (20 points)
二、考研英语一2017年大作文批改例文
Here are two pictures, both interesting but with sharply contrasted implication. As is vividly depicted in the first photo, a man sitting in sofa looking at his bookshelves and satisfied with the quantity, which successfully arouses our curiosity. On the contrary, the second picture describes that another teenager set his aim at completing 20 pieces books reading, finally completing the contrast is supposed to be given further analysis.
With the increasing pace of modern life, perhaps no change has characterized the past decade more dramatically than wide spread of reading. Naturally, it brings us both advantages and disadvantages. As for my part, the latter outweighs its former. On the top of list is that people became flippancy without reading. In addition, there is the other point that no one can ignore. It is universally admitted that a nation will recede with reading. No other case can better illustrate the consequences of what I have discussed than the picture above.
According to the analysis above, it is advisable for us to take steps to maximize its positive effects and minimize the disadvantage. Of all the steps, mass media tends to function essentially in the job. Only in this way can we make the best of the value of reading an embrace a bright future.
三、考研英语作文批改
原文:, a man sitting in sofa looking at his boo
批改:“a man sitting in sofa looking at... and satisfied with...” 这部分结构不完整,缺少谓语动词。可以补充为 “a man is sitting on a sofa, looking at his bookshelves and feeling satisfied with the quantity”。
原文:another teenager set hi
批改:“another teenager set his aim at completing 20 pieces books reading” 存在两个可以优化的地方:“set his aim” 时态建议统一为现在时 “sets his aim”;“20 pieces books” 是错误表达,应为 “20 books”。
原文:re are two pictures, both interesting but with sharply contrasted implication. As is vividly depicted in the first photo, a man sitting in sofa looking at his bookshelves and satisfied with the quantity, which successfully arouses our curiosity. On the contrary, the second picture describes that another teenager set his aim at completing 20 pieces books reading, finally completing the contrast is supposed to be given further analysis.
批改:你准确地描述了两幅图的场景并指出了它们的对比关系,成功完成了引入话题的任务。主要的提升点在于确保句子结构的完整性和名词短语的准确性。
原文:h the increasing pace of modern life, perhaps no change has characterized the past decade more dramatically than wide spread of reading. Naturally, it brings us both advantages and disadvantages. As for my part, the latter outweighs its former. On the top of list is that people became flippancy without reading. In addition, there is the other point that no one can ignore. It is universally admitted that a nation will recede with reading. No other case can better illustrate the consequences of what I have discussed than the picture above.
批改:本段尝试深入分析,并使用了一些高级句式,这值得肯定
原文:minimize the disadvant
批改:“minimize the disadvantage” 中的 “disadvantage” 应用复数 “disadvantages
原文: way can we make the best of the value of reading an embrace a bright future.
批改:最后一句 “make the best of the value of reading an embrace a bright future” 中,“an” 是笔误,应为 “and”。
原文:cording to the analysis above, it is advisable for us to take steps to maximize its positive effects and minimize the disadvantage. Of all the steps, mass media tends to function essentially in the job. Only in this way can we make the best of the value of reading an embrace a bright futu
批改:结尾段提出了方向性的建议
四、考研英语作文评分
得分:16分
总评与修改建议:
同学,你的作文展现了很好的潜力,尤其是在开头段的对比设置和结尾段的措施提出上,框架意识很强。
在下笔前,先用一句话清晰地概括出两幅图对比的核心寓意。例如:“这幅图批判了只满足于拥有书籍而从不付诸阅读的行为,倡导将计划转化为实际行动。” 让这个核心观点贯穿全文。
确保逻辑自洽:在提出一个前提(如:阅读普及是好事)后,所有的论据(如:不阅读的坏处)都必须服务于对这个前提的深入探讨,而不是与之矛盾。对于这篇作文,可以将第二段的论述重点从“阅读的弊端”调整为“批判只藏书不读书的虚伪/空想行为”,这样逻辑就顺畅了。
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