考研英语一2024年大作文实例分析与批改

想在考研英语一大作文中写出有深度的论证段落？本文精解的2024年考研英语一真题范文，从论据选择、过渡句使用到结尾点题都极具参考价值。启航教育考研英语教研组对该篇范文的批注，有助于考生建立完善的写作逻辑。

一、考研英语一2024年大作文题目

考研英语一2024年大作文Directions:Write an essay based on the picture and the chart below. In your essay, you should 1) describe the picture and the chart briefly, 2) interpret the implied meaning, and 3) give your comments. Write your answer in 160-200 words on the ANSWER SHEET. (20 points)

二、考研英语一2024年大作文批改例文

In the left-hand cartoon, there is a boy, standing proudly in the park fitness area and saying proudly,"The newly renovated park near my home is really nice!" Simultaneously,in the right-hand bar chart, the number of parks in a city experienced a significant increase of 264 from 2020 to 2022.

The core reasons for the observed phenomenon can be summarized as follows. To start with, in the wake of the high-speed advancement of society, people are no longer content with mere material satisfaction; they also pursue physical health. This explains why an increasing number of them choose to exercise in the park, rather than stay in home.In addition, our government has made tremendous efforts to build many parks,enabling citizens to relax and exercise freely.Considering these factors, the depicted phenomenon in the chart is unsurprising.

What about future trends? I am confident that the number of exercise participants and that ofo parks will steadily increase in the following decades.

三、考研英语作文批改

原文：the left-hand cartoon, there is a boy, standing proudly in the park fitness area and saying proudly,"The newly renovated park near my home is really nice!" Simultaneously,in the right-hand bar chart, the number of parks in a city experienced a significant increase of 264 from 2020 to 2022.

批改：本段成功描述了漫画和图表的核心信息，关联得当

原文： core reasons for the observed phenomenon can be summarized as follows. To start with, in the wake of the high-speed advancement of society, people are no longer content with mere material satisfaction; they also pursue physical health. This explains why an increasing number of them choose to exercise in the park, rather than stay in home.In addition, our government has made tremendous efforts to build many parks,enabling citizens to relax and exercise freely.Considering these factors, the depicted phenomenon in the chart is unsurprising.

批改：这一段的原因分析非常到位，从公众健康意识提升和政府投入两个角度展开，逻辑清晰，说服力强。“in the wake of”, “are no longer content with”等短语用得也很出彩。

原文：n stay in hom

批改：“stay in home” 中的介词 “in” 是多余的，地道的表达是 “stay at home

原文： about future trends? I am confident that the number of exercise participants and that ofo parks will steadily increase in the following decades.

批改：结尾段对未来趋势做出了预测，这符合图表作文的常见写法

原文：ofo parks w

批改：“that ofo parks” 应为 “that of parks”。

四、考研英语作文评分

得分：15

你的作文内容切题，结构完整，论证合理。主要的提升空间在于词汇表达的多样性和准确性，以及数据描述的规范性。

总评与建议：

同学，你这篇作文最让老师欣赏的是你清晰的逻辑框架和有效的论证能力。你不仅能分别解读漫画和图表，还能发现它们的内在联系，并从个人需求与政府行为两个层面进行论证，这非常棒！

当前，我们可以集中精力提升语言的精细度和专业性。你的宏观思路很好，现在需要让微观的用词和细节与之匹配。我的核心建议是：

丰富词汇与句式：有意识地积累和使用更多样的词汇和句式来表达相似的意思，避免重复。比如，表示“增长”除了“increase”，还可以用“rise”、“grow”、“climb”等。

注意介词和冠词：特别留意像“stay at home”这样的固定搭配中的介词使用，以及“the number”等短语中冠词的运用。

无论你是2026年考生还是备战2027考研英语，精读本文的2024年考研英语一批改范例都能为你的写作带来提升。启航教育的写作主讲与AI智能批改系统全天候待命，为你的考研英语一作文模板冲刺保驾护航。