进入冲刺阶段,每一份考研英语写作技巧写作资料都弥足珍贵。本文整理的2013年考研英语一批改范例,由启航教育写作主讲亲自精批,已标注高分句型与失分雷区。无论你是考研英语一一还是考研英语一二考生,都能从中找到提分灵感。
一、考研英语一2013年大作文题目
考研英语一2013年大作文Directions:Write an essay of 160-200 words based on the following drawing. In your essay, you should1) describe the drawing briefly, 2) interpret its intended meaning, and3) give your comments. You should write neatly on the ANSWER SHEET. (20 points)
二、考研英语一2013年大作文批改例文
Recently, there has been a growing concern among the public over the topic of the choice after graduation. As is described in the picture, a group of graduates are facing various roads to go, such as searching for jobs, pursuing further study, going abroad and becoming entrepreneurs. The picture intends to convey us that, as adults, college graduates have to make their own decisions about future life.
After graduation, college students should choose future life based on their own realities and dreams. For those, who are eager to become economically independent and to put into practice what they have learned in college, taking a job or doing poineering work may be satisfying and rewarding. Getting established as a bread-winner after graduation is their main desire. By contrast, others who want to take advantage of the favorable conditions in college, however, ought to try to enroll in graduate programs inside or outside. For them, a Master"s degree or even a Doctoral degree represents a much more ambitious goal than a bachelor"s degree, because they cherish lifetime success and interest more in academic achievements than money.
It is sensible that we should take a rational attitude towards the decisive choice. For the part of my own, getting a higher degree abroad has long been my dream. I’m a strong believer that one should do more research and learn more while he or she is still young.
三、考研英语作文批改
原文: convey us that,
批改:“convey us that” 中介词使用不当,应为 “convey to us that”。
原文:ently, there has been a growing concern among the public over the topic of the choice after graduation. As is described in the picture, a group of graduates are facing various roads to go, such as searching for jobs, pursuing further study, going abroad and becoming entrepreneurs. The picture intends to convey us that, as adults, college graduates have to make their own decisions about future life.
批改:你准确地描述了图片场景,并清晰地概括了其核心寓意,成功完成了引入话题的任务。用词丰富,显示了良好的语言功底。
原文: poineering work
批改:poineering work” 是 “pioneering work” (创业) 的拼写错误。
原文:fter graduation, college students should choose future life based on their own realities and dreams. For those, who are eager to become economically independent and to put into practice what they have learned in college, taking a job or doing poineering work may be satisfying and rewarding. Getting established as a bread-winner after graduation is their main desire. By contrast, others who want to take advantage of the favorable conditions in college, however, ought to try to enroll in graduate programs inside or outside. For them, a Master"s degree or even a Doctoral degree represents a much more ambitious goal than a bachelor"s degree, because they cherish lifetime success and interest more in academic achievements than money.
批改:本段结构严谨,论证有力。你成功地将毕业生分为两类,并为他们各自的选择提供了令人信服的理由,体现了深刻的洞察力。论述环环相扣,展现了优秀的思辨能力。
原文:rt of my own,
批改:“For the part of my own” 是 “For my own part” 的笔误。
原文:nsible that we should take a rational attitude towards the decisive choice. For the part of my own, getting a higher degree abroad has long been my dream. I’m a strong believer that one should do more research and learn more while he or she is still you
批改:结尾段清晰地表达了个人立场,并与前文的分析相呼应
四、考研英语作文评分
得分:总分与总评
这篇作文内容切题,结构完整,层次清晰,熟练地使用了丰富的语法结构和词汇。存在极少数语言错误,但不影响理解。我给这篇作文打 17分。
总评与修改建议:
最突出的优点在于你严谨的文章结构和深度的论证逻辑。你不仅能构建清晰的框架,还能从不同毕业生的动机和需求出发进行富有见地的分析,这已经达到了十分优秀的水平。
在完成写作后,可以进行一次快速的“细节检查”,重点关注介词的搭配(如convey to sb)和高频词的拼写(如pioneering)。这能确保你的精彩内容毫无瑕疵。
在使用“By contrast”和“however”这类强转折词时,可以稍作停留,确保它们不会在同一个句子中重复出现,这将使行文逻辑更加流畅严密。
专业批改是考研英语写作提分直接有效的方式之一。启航教育提供由资深讲师亲批的免费批改服务,针对考研英语一大作文逐句逐段给出修改建议。完成本文精读之后,欢迎将你的作文提交给启航教育,享受考研英语写作技巧高分批改。
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