考研英语一2016年大作文真题与例文批改

启航教育考研英语教研组精心筛选了2016年考研英语一大作文真题原文及高分批改范例。本篇范文中，老师对每一句都给出修改建议，是考研英语一作文模板备考资料库中的精品，特别推荐给参加2027考研的学子。

一、考研英语一2016年大作文题目

考研英语一2016年大作文52. Directions: Write an essay of 160-200 words based on the following pictures. In your essay, you should1) describe the pictures briefly, 2) interpret the meaning, and3) give your comments. You should write neatly on the ANSWER SHEET. (20 points)

二、考研英语一2016年大作文批改例文

In the left-hand cartoon，there is a father, smoking and watching TV，while demanding his son to study hard. On the contrary，in the right-hand portrayal，both the father and son are devoted to their studies. Evidently，the cartoonist intends to convey to readers that positive examples are the brush that paints a bright future for children，while negative examples are the shackle that hinders their progress.

This phenomenon is thought-provoking in several ways，but two of them are particularly significant. On the one hand，while certain Chinese traditions may be outdated，the principle of leading by example is one that should never lose its luster，as it is an essential bond that keeps the Chinese nation thriving.On the other hand, negative examples set by parents are like heavy chains that hinder children"s progress，leaving them with a negative outlook on life and preventing them from shining brightly in future society.

In brief，positive examples are the catalyst for children"s development，from which they all stand to benefit. Therefore，we should actively support and advocate this practice; additionally, we must be acutely aware of the detrimental effects of negative examples to ensure children"s growth stays on course.

三、考研英语作文批改

原文：the left-hand cartoon，there is a father, smoking and watching TV，while demanding his son to study hard. On the contrary，in the right-hand portrayal，both the father and son are devoted to their studies. Evidently，the cartoonist intends to convey to readers that positive examples are the brush that paints a bright future for children，while negative examples are the shackle that hinders their progress.

批改：你对两幅图画的对比描述非常精准、到位，直击要害。结尾的总结句尤其精彩，“the brush that paints a bright future”和“the shackle that hinders progress”这两个比喻用得非常贴切、有力，是全文的亮点。

原文： phenomenon is thought-provoking in several ways，but two of them are particularly significant. On the one hand，while certain Chinese traditions may be outdated，the principle of leading by example is one that should never lose its luster，as it is an essential bond that keeps the Chinese nation thriving.On the other hand, negative examples set by parents are like heavy chains that hinder children"s progress，leaving them with a negative outlook on life and preventing them from shining brightly in future society.

批改：本段从“以身作则”的传统美德和“负面榜样”的危害两个角度论证，结构清晰，思辨性强。“essential bond”和“heavy chains”的比喻也用得非常贴切。

原文：ief，positive examples are the catalyst for children"s development，from which they all stand to benefit. Therefore，we should actively support and advocate this practice; additionally, we must be acutely aware of the detrimental effects of negative examples to ensure children"s growth stays on course.

批改： 结尾段总结有力，“catalyst”（催化剂）和“detrimental”（有害的）等高级词汇的使用非常精准。提出的建议也很好地收束了全文，结构完整。

四、考研英语作文评分

得分：18分

总评：

你的文章结构严谨，立意深刻，论证逻辑清晰且富有层次，语言表达准确、地道且富有文采，有效地使用了多种衔接手法。无论是宏观结构还是微观语言，你都展现出了极高的水准。你对“以身作则”这一原则的阐释，以及对比喻和高级词汇的娴熟运用，是本文获得高分的关键。保持你目前的写作状态和水平

考研英语一作文模板写作提分高效的方式，是让经验丰富的老师亲自批改你的作文。启航教育2027考研英语斌哥写作锦囊冲刺抢分班，主讲斌哥亲批每一份学员作业，真题作业批改、轻松应对各种复杂题目，让考研英语写作更有底。