当你坐在考研英语一考场,面对2024年大作文题目的那一瞬间,是否能快速组织起一篇结构清晰、表达地道的高分文章?本文这篇批改例文,正是考研英语一作文真题话题下的标准范本,适合每一位考研英语备考生反复研读。
一、考研英语一2024年大作文题目
考研英语一2024年大作文Directions:Write an essay based on the picture and the chart below. In your essay, you should 1) describe the picture and the chart briefly, 2) interpret the implied meaning, and 3) give your comments. Write your answer in 160-200 words on the ANSWER SHEET. (20 points)
二、考研英语一2024年大作文批改例文
In the drawing, there is a park, in which several residents are doing physical exercise, with smiles on their faces. One of them comments, "This nearby newly-built park is gorgeous!" Meanwhile, a chart can be noticed, which illustrates that the number of parks increased remarkably, from 406 in 2020 to 670 in 2022.
Such scenarios, apparently, can be associated with the significant role of parks in people"s daily life. In recent years, China was characterized by its boom and prosperity in economy, which enabled the government to possess extra financial budgets to construct infrastructures, including parks. This phenomenon is particularly worth attention for the reason that parks can bring citizens places to relax or do sports, arouse their passion for life, and help them enjoy convenience. A case in point is me. As a senior who is preparing for the national entrance examination for postgraduate studies, I get up early every day to do sports in the nearby park. It is this positive habit that enables me to keep healthy and efficient.
Thus, it is advisable for the government to build more parks for the public. Meanwhile, society as a whole is supposed to foster a positive atmosphere of protecting the harmonious and beautiful environment of parks.
三、考研英语作文批改
原文:drawing, there is a park, in which several residents are doing physical exercise, with smiles on their faces. One of them comments, "This nearby newly-built park is gorgeous!" Meanwhile, a chart can be noticed, which illustrates that the number of parks increased remarkably, from 406 in 2020 to 670 in 2022.
批改:你成功地描述了漫画场景并引出了图表数据
原文: scenarios, apparently, can be associated with the significant role of parks in people"s daily life. In recent years, China was characterized by its boom and prosperity in economy, which enabled the government to possess extra financial budgets to construct infrastructures, including parks. This phenomenon is particularly worth attention for the reason that parks can bring citizens places to relax or do sports, arouse their passion for life, and help them enjoy convenience. A case in point is me. As a senior who is preparing for the national entrance examination for postgraduate studies, I get up early every day to do sports in the nearby park. It is this positive habit that enables me to keep healthy and efficient.
批改:本段论述有层次,既有宏观分析又有个人例证,体现了优秀的思辨能力。
原文:, it is advisable for the government to build more parks for the public. Meanwhile, society as a whole is supposed to foster a positive atmosphere of protecting the harmonious and beautiful environment of parks.
批改:结尾段完成了提出建议的任务
四、考研英语作文评分
得分:18分
总分与总评
这篇作文内容完整,结构清晰,逻辑连贯,并能使用较丰富的语法结构和词汇。存在少数可以优化的地方。
这篇作文最让老师欣赏的是你独特的开篇方式和真实的个人例证。你不仅能构建清晰的论述框架,还能巧妙地结合漫画与图表,并用亲身经历来支撑观点,这使你的文章格外有说服力。
在保证内容充实的前提下,可以思考如何用更精炼的句式来表达复杂的意思,比如用主动语态替代被动语态,合并冗余的修饰词。
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