考研英语作文失分点多、提分空间大,一直是2013年考研英语一备考生核心痛点之一。本文围绕考研英语一大作文话题,给出一篇经过启航教育老师精细批改的高分范文,文中不仅有逐句批注,还附有可复制的考研英语一高分写作模板。
一、考研英语一2013年大作文题目
考研英语一2013年大作文Directions:Write an essay of 160-200 words based on the following drawing. In your essay, you should1) describe the drawing briefly, 2) interpret its intended meaning, and3) give your comments. You should write neatly on the ANSWER SHEET. (20 points)
二、考研英语一2013年大作文批改例文
As shown in the cartoon, there are a group of gradduate students standing in the life"s road and finding a suitable road. Evidently, the cartconist intends to convey to readers that finding a suitable road after graduation, that exert a great influence both in our personal lives and society.
The phenomenon is thought-provcking in serval ways but two of them are particularly significant. On the one hand, in modern society full of changes, chances, and challenges,finding a suitable way after graduation has become a key factor that distinguishes exceptional individuals from ordinary people, and its significance has become increasingly evident .On the other hand, negecting finding a suitable road after graduation is like a heavy chain that hinders student"s progrets, leaving them with a negative outlook on life and preventing them from shining brightly in future society.
Therefore, finding a suitable road after graduation, which is a pervasive social phenomenon, is a double-edged which can have a profoundly positive or negective influence on the development of yong people, When facting this phenomeon we need to extract its essence while eliminating its drawbacks, delving into how to maximize the positive impct and effectively mitigate or alleviate the negative aspects.
三、考研英语作文批改
原文:gradduate
批改:拼写错误 “graduate”
原文:cartconist
批改:拼写错误 “cartoonist”
原文:, that
批改:删去,从句没有谓语动词
原文:exert
批改:做从句的谓语动词,使用单三 exerts
原文:As shown in the cartoon, there are a group of gradduate students standing in the life"s road and finding a suitable road. Evidently, the cartconist intends to convey to readers that finding a suitable road after graduation, that exert a great influence both in our personal lives and society.
批改:描述图片内容,符合题目要求
原文:thought-provcking
批改:“thought-provoking”
原文:serval
批改:several
原文:negecting
批改:neglecting
原文:progrets
批改:“progress”
原文:negecting finding
批改: 改为 “neglecting to choose”(“neglect to do” 为固定搭配)
原文:student"s
批改:复数所有格 students"
原文:negective
批改:“negative”
原文:yong
批改:“young”
原文:double-edged
批改:“double-edged sword”,“双刃剑”
原文: facting
批改:“confronted with”(固定搭配)
原文:impct
批改:“effects”
原文:The phenomenon is thought-provcking in serval ways but two of them are particularly significant. On the one hand, in modern society full of changes, chances, and challenges,finding a suitable way after graduation has become a key factor that distinguishes exceptional individuals from ordinary people, and its significance has become increasingly evident .On the other hand, negecting finding a suitable road after graduation is like a heavy chain that hinders student"s progrets, leaving them with a negative outlook on life and preventing them from shining brightly in future society.
批改:提出自己的观点,使用了表示逻辑关系的连接词,条理较为清晰
原文:Therefore, finding a suitable road after graduation, which is a pervasive social phenomenon, is a double-edged which can have a profoundly positive or negective influence on the development of yong people, When facting this phenomeon we need to extract its essence while eliminating its drawbacks, delving into how to maximize the positive impct and effectively mitigate or alleviate the negative aspects
批改:结尾升华主题,符合结尾段的内容和结构
四、考研英语作文评分
得分:15
原文紧扣 “毕业生职业道路选择” 的漫画主题,框架完整,符合考研英语大作文的基本要求。但存在一些问题:拼写错误频发:如 “gradduate”“cartconist”“progrets” 等,严重影响语言准确性;语法与句式问题:存在句子缺少谓语、指代模糊、语义重复等问题,影响行文流畅度。加强单词的拼写背诵,希望继续努力,加油!
如果你也想让自己的考研英语一作文拿到理想分数,可以将本文的范文与老师批注作为标杆反复研读。同时,启航教育2027考研英语斌哥写作锦囊冲刺抢分班已正式启动报名,在线咨询可获考研英语一大作文高分资料礼包。
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