当你坐在考研英语二考场,面对2021年大作文题目的那一瞬间,是否能快速组织起一篇结构清晰、表达地道的高分文章?本文这篇批改例文,正是考研英语二真题话题下的标准范本,适合每一位考研英语备考生反复研读。
一、2021年考研英语二大作文题目
考研英语二2021年大作文48. Directions: Write an essay based on the chart below. In your writing, you should1) interpret the chart, and 2)give your comments. You should write about 150 words on the ANSWER SHEET. (15 points)
二、2021年考研英语二大作文批改例文
The bar chart clearly displays the percentange breakdown of residents" ways of doing exercise in one certain city. Doing exercise lonely takes the lead at 54.3%, followed by doing exercise with friends at 47.4%. In addition, doing exercise with family and participating group activity are also considered,accounting for 23.9% and 15.8%,respectively.
The core reasons for the observed phenomenon can be summarized as follows. To start with ,as we all know,the out-break of COVID-19 has impacted every aspect of our lives,significantly altering residents" behaviors and choices.An increasing number of individuals have started paying more attention to health.In addition,in the wake of high-speed advancement of society ,people are no longer content with mere material satisfaction,they also pursue spiritual enjoyment.This explains why approximately half of residents enjoy doing exercise with partners,such as friends,family and others.Considering these factors,the depicted phenomenon in the chart in unsurprising.
What about future trends? I am confident that the statistical figures accurately and truthfully reflect the choices of residents,severing as a microcosm of the changes in the era,and will likely remain relatively stable in the following decades.
三、考研英语作文批改
原文:he bar chart clearly displays the percentange breakdown of residents" ways of doing exercise in one certain city.
批改:“percentange”拼写错误,应为“percentage”
原文:Doing exercise lonely takes the lead at 54.3%, followed by doing exercise with friends at 47.4%.
批改:“lonely”使用错误,“lonely”侧重于情感上的孤独,此处应用“alone”表示独自地
原文:In addition, doing exercise with family and participating group activity are also considered,accounting for 23.9% and 15.8%,respectively.
批改:“participating group activity”表述错误,应是“participating in group activities”;句子结构完整,补充了其他锻炼方式的占比信息。
原文:The core reasons for the observed phenomenon can be summarized as follows.
批改:此句起到承上启下的作用,自然地引出下文对现象原因的分析。
原文:To start with ,as we all know,the out-break of COVID-19 has impacted every aspect of our lives,significantly altering residents" behaviors and choices.
批改:“out - break”拼写错误,应为“outbreak”;句子逻辑清晰,指出新冠疫情对居民生活和选择的影响。
原文:An increasing number of individuals have started paying more attention to health.
批改:此句进一步阐述疫情带来的影响,即人们更加关注健康,与上文逻辑连贯。
原文:In addition,in the wake of high-speed advancement of society ,people are no longer content with mere material satisfaction,they also pursue spiritual enjoyment.
批改:“in the wake of”使用恰当,表达“随着……之后”;句子逻辑合理,说明社会进步使人们追求精神享受,从而解释了部分居民选择和朋友锻炼的原因。
原文:This explains why approximately half of residents enjoy doing exercise with partners,such as friends,family and others.
批改:此句总结上文,解释了居民选择与伙伴锻炼的原因,逻辑清晰。
原文:Considering these factors,the depicted phenomenon in the chart in unsurprising.
批改:“in unsurprising”表述错误,应是“is unsurprising”;句子想表达考虑到这些因素,图表中的现象不足为奇。
原文:What about future trends?
批改:此句自然地引出下文对未来趋势的讨论。
原文: I am confident that the statistical figures accurately and truthfully reflect the choices of residents,severing as a microcosm of the changes in the era,and will likely remain relatively stable in the following decades.
批改:“severing”拼写错误,应是“serving”;句子整体表达了对统计数据的看法和对未来趋势的预测
四、考研英语作文评分
得分:10/15
题目要求:作文基本围绕题目要求展开,完成了图表解读和评论两项主要任务。在解读图表部分,尝试呈现了不同锻炼方式(独自锻炼、和朋友锻炼、和家人锻炼、参加团体活动)在居民中的占比情况;在评论部分,分析了产生这种现象的原因,并对未来趋势进行了预测。
语言表达:在表达观点和阐述内容时,使用了一些较为合适的词汇,如“outbreak”“material satisfaction”“spiritual enjoyment”等,一定程度上提升了文章的表达效果。
内容层面:在解读图表后,尝试对现象产生的原因进行分析,并预测未来趋势,体现了对题目要求的全面理解,有一定的思考过程。
修改建议:积累词汇,选择更准确、合适的词汇来表达自己的意思。在写作前,先确定每个词汇的含义和用法,避免用词不当。例如,将“lonely”改为“alone”。
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