考研英语作文失分点多、提分空间大,一直是2015年考研英语二备考生核心痛点之一。本文围绕考研英语二作文真题话题,给出一篇经过启航教育老师精细批改的高分范文,文中不仅有逐句批注,还附有可复制的考研英语二高分写作模板。
一、2015年考研英语二大作文题目
考研英语二2015年大作文Write an essay based on the following chart. In your writing, you should 1) interpret the chart, and 2) give your comments. You should write about 150 words on the ANSWER SHEET. (15 points)
二、2015年考研英语二大作文批改例文
大作文
必须使用黑色字读书写:在答案市区域内作答,超出黑色矩形边根限定区域的答案无效。 The pie chart clearly display the percentage break-down of the consumption during the Spring Festival vocation in a cortain city in China. As we can see, the New Year gifts take the lead at 40%, followed by transation at 20%. Eating and meeting takes the percentage of 20%. What"s more, others count for 20% in all.
The core reasons for the depicts phenome non can be summerized as follows. To start with, in the wake of the high-speed advancement of society, people are no longer content with mere material satisfaction; they also pursue spiritual enjoyment. This explains why a large proportion of gifts accounts so much. In addition, Chinese society is undergoing an extensive and profound transformation. In my view, the fundamental reason for this phe nomenon is the significant progress made by Chinese leaded by the government.
What about the future trends? I am confident that the above statisticalfigures accruately and truthfully reflect the choices of Chinese, serving as a microcosm of changes in the era, will remain relatively stable in the decades.
必须使用黑色字迹书写:在答题卡区域内作答,超出黑色矩形边框限定区域的答案无效,
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三、考研英语作文批改
原文:isplay the percentage break-down of the consumption during the Spring Festival vocation i
批改:display 主谓不一致,应为 displays。 break-down 应为 breakdown。 cortain 拼写错误,应为 certain。 vocation 用词错误,想表达的应是“假期”,应为 vacation
原文:ansation at 20%. Eating and meeting takes the percentage of 20%. What"s more, others count for 20% in all.
批改:transation 拼写错误,应为 transportation。 Eating and meeting takes 主谓不一致,复数主语对应 take。 takes the percentage of 20% 表达冗余且不地道,直接说 account for 20% 即可。 What"s more 用于引入新信息,此处是并列项,使用 Similarly 或 Meanwhile 更合适。 count for 搭配不当,应为 account for
原文:art clearly display the percentage break-down of the consumption during the Spring Festival vocation in a cortain city in China. As we can see, the New Year gifts take the lead at 40%, followed by transation at 20%. Eating and meeting takes the percentage of 20%. What"s more, others count for 20% in all
批改:你准确地描述了图表的核心数据,并使用了 takes the lead 这样的好词组,这很好!但本段在语法、拼写和用词准确性上存在较多问题
原文: depicts phenome non can be summerized as
批改:depicts phenome non 拼写错误,应为 depicted phenomenon。 summerized 拼写错误,应为 summarized。
原文:rge proportion of gifts
批改:a large proportion of gifts accounts so much 表达错误且不清晰。accounts for 后接具体比例,so much 是口语化表达。建议改为 why spending on gifts accounts for such a large proportion。 Chinese leaded by the government 表达不准确,leaded 是名词,动词过去分词是 led。但此句表意空泛,与春节消费的直接关联性弱。
原文:e core reasons for the depicts phenome non can be summerized as follows. To start with, in the wake of the high-speed advancement of society, people are no longer content with mere material satisfaction; they also pursue spiritual enjoyment. This explains why a large proportion of gifts accounts so much. In addition, Chinese society is undergoing an extensive and profound transformation. In my view, the fundamental reason for this phe nomenon is the significant progress made by Chinese leaded by the government.
批改:你尝试从“精神需求”和“社会转型”角度分析,这个方向是对的。但论述不够深入和具体,第二个原因尤其空泛,未能有效解释图表现象。分析原因时应更紧密地结合“春节”这一特定文化背景。
原文: about the future trends? I am confident that the above statisticalfigures accruately and truthfully reflect the choices of Chinese, serving as a microcosm of changes in the era, will remain relatively stable in the decades
批改:statisticalfigures 应分开,为 statistical figures。 accruately 拼写错误,应为 accurately。 serving as... will remain... 存在语法错误,serving 引导的分词短语导致句子结构不完整。这是一个典型的句子结构错误。
四、考研英语作文评分
得分:6分
总评与修改建议:
同学,你的作文结构是完整的,也包含了所有内容要点。但目前,语言基础的准确性是阻碍你获得更高分的主要障碍。这主要体现在频繁的拼写错误、主谓不一致和句子结构错误上。
给你的核心建议:
打好语言基础:请务必重视基础词汇的拼写和基本语法规则(如主谓一致)。在考场上,写完一定要留出几分钟专门检查这些基础错误。一个干净、准确的语言基础是得分的根本。
让内容更具体:分析原因时,避免使用空泛的句子(如“社会转型”、“政府领导”)。请紧扣“春节”场景,思考更具体的原因,如:传统文化中“礼尚往来”的习俗、人们对家庭团聚的情感需求、现代交通便利性的提升等。
先求正确,再求华丽:在现阶段,请优先保证写出的每一个句子在语法上是完全正确的。如果复杂句式没有把握,就果断使用几个正确的简单句。清晰准确的简单句,远胜于错误百出的复杂句。
如果你也想让自己的考研英语二作文拿到理想分数,可以将本文的范文与老师批注作为标杆反复研读。同时,启航教育2027考研英语斌哥写作锦囊冲刺抢分班已正式启动报名,在线咨询可获考研英语二作文真题高分资料礼包。
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