考研英语作文批改命题趋势越来越关注社会热点与考生思辨能力。本文带来的2015年考研英语二批改范例,透过图表/图画深挖现象背后的本质,由启航教育老师逐段精批,可帮助考生建立稳定的考研英语写作思维框架。
一、2015年考研英语二大作文题目
考研英语二2015年大作文Write an essay based on the following chart. In your writing, you should 1) interpret the chart, and 2) give your comments. You should write about 150 words on the ANSWER SHEET. (15 points)
二、2015年考研英语二大作文批改例文
The bar chart clearly displays the percentage breakdown of the urban"s spending in Spring Festival in one city of our country. Spring Festival"s gifts takes the lead at 40%. followed by traffic eating together and others, accounting for 20% respectively.
The corn reasons for the observed phenomenon can be summarized as follows. To start with, as the conductor orchestrating the symphony of changes, our government has made tremendous effort to drive economic growth and elevate the purchasing power of the populace, allowing them to afford gifts that were previously deemed luxury items. In addition, in the wake of the high-speed advancement of society, people are no longer content with mere material satisfaction, they also pursue spiritual enjoyment. This explains why an increasing number of people choose trip in the Spring Festival rather than stay at home. Considering these factors, the depicted phenomenon in the chart is unsurpring
What about future trends? I am confident that the above statistical figures accurately and truthfully reflect the choices of urban, serving as a microcasm of the changes in the era, and will likely remain relatively stable in the following decades.
三、考研英语作文批改
原文: bar chart cle
批改:图表类型错误:原文是“pie chart”(饼图),你这里写成了“bar chart”(柱状图)。图表类型一定要准确。
原文:e urban"s spen
批改:语法错误:urban 是形容词,不能直接加 "s。应改为 urban residents" spending(城市居民的开支)。
原文:pring Festival"s gifts tak
批改:主谓不一致与表达冗余: 主语 gifts 是复数,谓语动词 takes 应改为 take。 Spring Festival"s gifts 表达略显冗余,更地道的说法是 New Year"s gifts 或 gift purchases。
原文:d by traffic eating t
批改:traffic eating together 之间缺少逗号,应为 traffic, eating together, and others。 respectively(分别地)通常用于说明多个项目与多个数据的——对应关系。这里只有一个20%,却对应三项,使用不当。
原文:bar chart clearly displays the percentage breakdown of the urban"s spending in Spring Festival in one city of our country. Spring Festival"s gifts takes the lead at 40%. followed by traffic eating together and others, accounting for 20% respectively.
批改:本段成功提取了核心数据,结构清晰。主要问题在于图表类型、名词所有格、主谓一致以及逻辑副词的使用。
原文: corn re
批改:corn 应为 core(核心的)。
原文:mendous effort t
批改:用词错误:effort 在表示“努力”时,通常用作不可数名词。这里用 tremendous effort (单数) 或 tremendous efforts (复数) 都可以,但单数更常见。
原文: people are no longer con
批改:串句错误:这是一个“串句”,用逗号连接了两个完整的句子。必须改为分号,或者加连词 and。即:...material satisfaction; they also... 或 ...material satisfaction and also pursue...。
原文:is explains why a
批改:choose trip:choose 后应接带 to 的不定式或名词,即 choose to travel 或 choose a trip。 rather than stay:rather than 后接动词原形即可。 逻辑断裂:前文在论述“精神享受”和“购买礼物”,但结论句却突然转向解释“旅行而非待在家里”。“精神享受”和“交通出行”是两个不同的消费类别,这个推论使得论证链条断裂。
原文: unsurpr
批改:拼写错误:unsurpring 应为 unsurprising。
原文: corn reasons for the observed phenomenon can be summarized as follows. To start with, as the conductor orchestrating the symphony of changes, our government has made tremendous effort to drive economic growth and elevate the purchasing power of the populace, allowing them to afford gifts that were previously deemed luxury items. In addition, in the wake of the high-speed advancement of society, people are no longer content with mere material satisfaction, they also pursue spiritual enjoyment. This explains why an increasing number of people choose trip in the Spring Festival rather than stay at home. Considering these factors, the depicted phenomenon in the chart is unsurpring
批改:本段试图构建两个论点,但出现了严重的逻辑衔接问题和基础语法错误。你需要确保每个解释都紧密围绕你所要论证的消费类别,并检查句子的基本结构。
原文:oices of urban,
批改:语法错误:urban 是形容词,不能直接指代人。应改为 urban residents 或 city dwellers
原文: microcasm
批改:拼写错误:microcasm 应为 microcosm(缩影)。
原文: about future trends? I am confident that the above statistical figures accurately and truthfully reflect the choices of urban, serving as a microcasm of the changes in the era, and will likely remain relatively stable in the following decades.
批改:本段包含了拼写和语法错误
四、考研英语作文评分
得分:8分
总评:
同学,你的作文结构意识很强,这是你的优势。但这篇作文在逻辑严谨性和语言准确性上出现了一些反复。特别是论据与论点之间的脱节,以及一些基础词汇的拼写错误,影响了文章的整体质量。
修改建议
强化逻辑桥梁:在提出每一个原因后,务必让结论句直接回扣到你想要解释的具体数据。例如,解释交通开支,就应紧扣“返乡探亲”或“假日旅游”的需求,而不是从“精神享受”强行跳跃。
巩固词汇与语法:请集中复习最基础的高频词汇和语法点,如core的拼写、urban的用法、choose to do结构等。一个专属的错题本会非常有效。
关于2015年考研英语二大作文,如果你还有其他疑问,或是想进一步研读考研英语作文批改高分范文,欢迎在线咨询启航教育的答疑老师。同时报名2027考研英语斌哥写作锦囊冲刺抢分班,即可加入考研英语研友社群,开启冲刺伴学。
【28考研辅导课程推荐】:28考研集训课程,VIP领学计划,28考研VIP全科定制套餐(公共课VIP+专业课1对1) , 这些课程中都会配有内部讲义以及辅导书和资料,同时会有教研教辅双师模式对大家进行教学以及督学,并配有24小时答疑和模拟测试等,可直接咨询在线客服老师领取大额优惠券。
热门下载
资料下载
院校解析
真题解析
考研数学
考研英语
考研政治
考研备考