2021年考研英语二大作文失分点批改

本文整理了2021年考研英语二大作文真题原文及高分批改例文，是备考考研英语写作冲刺的实用素材。考研英语作文在考研英语中占据重要分值，历年真题范文能够帮助考生快速把握命题规律与评分要点，下面让我们一同走进这篇批改范文。

一、2021年考研英语二大作文题目

考研英语二2021年大作文48. Directions: Write an essay based on the chart below. In your writing, you should1) interpret the chart, and 2)give your comments. You should write about 150 words on the ANSWER SHEET. (15 points)

二、2021年考研英语二大作文批改例文

As is vividly depicted in the diagram, a striking contrast has occurred in a survey on the ways of residents" physical exercise in a ceremony. According to the data, the proportion of builting up alone is the largest, accounting for 54.3%. The exercise with friends ranks second with 47.7% whereas the teamwork activities merely take up 16.8%.

Some driving factors that underlie the aforementioned phenomenon may be summarized as follows. First and foremost, with numerous subsidies for public exercise launched by the department concerned, it stimulates exceedingly the enthusiasm on personal fitness. On a top of this, when it comes to exercise, what should never be overlooked is that cooperative exercise with intimates is significantly conducive to cultivating deeds of perseverance. Most importantly, on the basis of existing facilities, which are deficient in collective conditions, it is advisable to exercise own rather than teamwork.

In conclusion, since the trend maybe still increases, it"s imperative for individuals and institutions to take several effective measures to ensure this situation doesn"t get out of hand.

三、考研英语作文批改

原文：s is vividly depicted in the diagram, a striking contrast has occurred in a survey on the ways of residents" physical exercise in a ceremony. According to the data, the proportion of builting up alone is the largest, accounting for 54.3%.

批改：“builting up”拼写错误，应该是“building up”；句子整体表达基本清晰

原文：The exercise with friends ranks second with 47.7% whereas the teamwork activities merely take up 16.8%.

批改：此句表述较为清晰，通过“whereas”对比了和朋友锻炼与团队活动锻炼的占比情况。

原文：ome driving factors that underlie the aforementioned phenomenon may be summarized as follows.

批改：此句起到承上启下的作用，引出下文对现象原因的分析，过渡自然。

原文： First and foremost, with numerous subsidies for public exercise launched by the department concerned, it stimulates exceedingly the enthusiasm on personal fitness.

批改：“stimulates exceedingly”表述不当，可改为“greatly stimulates”；“enthusiasm on”搭配有误，应是“enthusiasm for”。

原文：On a top of this, when it comes to exercise, what should never be overlooked is that cooperative exercise with intimates is significantly conducive to cultivating deeds of perseverance.

批改：“On a top of this”表述错误，应是“On top of this”

原文：Most importantly, on the basis of existing facilities, which are deficient in collective conditions, it is advisable to exercise own rather than teamwork.

批改：“exercise own”表述错误，应是“exercise alone”；

原文：In conclusion, since the trend maybe still increases, it"s imperative for individuals and institutions to take several effective measures to ensure this situation doesn"t get out of hand.

批改：“maybe”使用错误，应是“may”；“get out of hand”表述较口语化，可改为“go out of control”。

四、考研英语作文评分

得分：10/15

题目要求：这篇作文基本围绕题目要求展开，试图完成解读图表和给出评论两项任务。在解读图表部分，提及了不同锻炼方式（独自锻炼、和朋友锻炼、团队活动锻炼）在居民中的占比情况；在评论部分，也尝试分析原因并给出应对措施。

语言表达：文章整体语句较为通顺，能够大致理解想要表达的意思，在连接句子和段落时，使用了一些连接词，如“First and foremost”“On top of this”“Most importantly”“In conclusion”等，使文章有一定的层次感。

内容层面：有意识地对图表中的现象进行分析，并尝试提出应对措施，有一定的思考过程。

修改建议：积累词汇，选择更准确、合适的词汇来表达自己的意思。

对2021年考研英语二大作文的精读，让我们再一次感受到考研英语写作冲刺写作的命题趋势和得分要点。启航教育会持续发布考研英语写作干货，欢迎添加在线咨询老师，领取2027写作预测话题与范文精解，预约免费批改名额。