想在短时间内显著提升考研英语写作分数?研读高分范文并接受专业批改是高效的路径。本文整理的2019年考研英语二批改范例,从图表描述、原因分析到建议评论,每一段都渗透着考研英语写作锦囊热点话题的得分要点。
一、2019年考研英语二大作文题目
考研英语二2019年大作文48. Directions: Write an essay based on the chart below. In your writing, you should 1) interpret the chart, and 2) give your comments. You should write about 150 words on the ANSWER SHEET. (15 points)
二、2019年考研英语二大作文批改例文
Simply and clearly, this bar chart displays the proportion distribution of the destinations of undergraduate graduates in 2013 and 2018. Getting a job accounts for more than 60 percent which is the highest proportion and it decreases sharply in 2018. There are more and more graduates who are eager to enter a higher school. Besides, few graduates desire to start a business and it grows up slightly in 2018.
I intend to make some further analysis as follows. The factors contributing to a big slide in employment are vastly complex. With the growing number of college graduates being turned out each year, the situation in the job market is getting tighter and tighter. It"s hard for students to find a job because the competition is so intense. Moreover, students prefer to pursue a higher school for better salary rather than graduate directly and search for jobs.
As discussed above, it"s not surprising to predict that more and more students will pursue further studies. In my opinion, this trend that the number of employment gradually turn down will continue for a while in foreseeable future.
三、考研英语作文批改
原文:Simply and clearly
批改:"Simply and clearly" 改为 "To put it simply and clearly",更符合英文书面表达习惯
原文: grows up
批改:"grows up" 改为 "rose slightly",grow up多指人长大
原文:roportion
批改:可以去掉proportion 这里是重复的
原文:Simply and clearly, this bar chart displays the proportion distribution of the destinations of undergraduate graduates in 2013 and 2018. Getting a job accounts for more than 60 percent which is the highest proportion and it decreases sharply in 2018. There are more and more graduates who are eager to enter a higher school. Besides, few graduates desire to start a business and it grows up slightly in 2018.
批改:考生的写作思路是清晰的,首段一开始就要描述图表中的信息。句子表达上可以根据批改再去精进。
原文: big slide
批改:可以优化为significant decline更明显的下降
原文:students
批改:可以优化为graduates,全文的对象都是毕业生,更加清晰明了
原文:I intend to make some further analysis as follows. The factors contributing to a big slide in employment are vastly complex. With the growing number of college graduates being turned out each year, the situation in the job market is getting tighter and tighter. It"s hard for students to find a job because the competition is so intense. Moreover, students prefer to pursue a higher school for better salary rather than graduate directly and search for jobs.
批改:核心部分分析图表现象背后的原因。句子写作上有可以改善的地方,根据批改再看一下。
原文: turn
批改:turns down注意主谓一致
原文: in for
批改:补充定冠词the, in the forseeable future
原文:As discussed above, it"s not surprising to predict that more and more students will pursue further studies. In my opinion, this trend that the number of employment gradually turn down will continue for a while in foreseeable future.
批改:结尾对未来做出预测,符合内容上要求。
四、考研英语作文评分
得分:12/15
一考试要求:图表作文要求考生在一开始就描述图表中的信息,在核心段落分析现象背后的原因,最后进行总结或预测。考生的本篇练习满足考试要求。
二语言表达:可以看出考生有一定的写作水平,可以写自己的句子。这是非常好的事情。老师在批改中也是给考生的句子做了一些优化的建议,考生不要有心理上的负担。
三行文逻辑:本篇文章的写作思路很正确,一开始描述图表信息,在中间分析现象背后的原因,最后对未来做出预测,符合文章的结构要求。
四建议:在这个阶段,更要静心坚持复习节奏。珍惜每一次的练习机会,有则改之无则加勉,为最后一次考试继续坚持,加油!
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