2021年考研英语一大作文失分点批改

据启航教育英语教研组统计，考研英语写作模板话题连续多年成为考研英语一大作文的高频考点。本文带来的2021年考研英语一批改例文中，考生通过对社会热点的精准分析与地道表达，获得高分，其写作思路可供2027考研英语一考生直接借鉴。

一、2021年考研英语一大作文题目

考研英语一2021年大作文52. Directions: Write an essay of 160-200 words based on the picture below. In your essay, you should1)describe the picture briefly, 2)interpret the implied meaning, and 3)give your comments. Write your answer on the ANSWER SHEET. (20 points)

二、2021年考研英语一大作文批改例文

As is vividly illustrated by this cartoon given above, a kid is communicating with his father about acting in an opera. The kid complains about his students don"t think learning opera is a fun thing. However, his father assumes it"s enough for him to persist in doing what he loves. Actually, It"s a morning call to send us a significant message that persist in what you love is important and hard.

Several factors can weigh heavily for this phenomenon. On the one hand, internally, many kids may hardly keep calm and persistent when some person don"t support what they like. Then they want to hesitate or give up it. On the other hard, externally, our society is witnessing an overwhelming number of low-level media, ranging from TV talk shows to inferior mini-dramas. These may influence on children"s ideas, which makes them don"t persist in what they love. Besides, the support and encouragement of parents is also vital significance. Only in this way can they realize what they do is valuable.

Given the factors that I have outlined above, it"s wise to draw a conclusion that all of us ought to follow our hearts and do what we love. So please don"t give up your hobby and don"t believe other gossip. As a classic saying goes, a journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.

三、考研英语作文批改

原文：complains about

批改：“complain about” 后接名词 / 动名词，不可直接接从句，改为 “complain that”（接宾语从句）

原文：his students

批改：逻辑矛盾（孩子的身份应为学生，而非老师），改为 “his classmates”（同学）

原文：morning call

批改：语义偏差（“morning call” 指 “叫醒服务”），改为 “serves as a wake-up call”（固定搭配，“敲响警钟 / 带来启示”）

原文：persist

批改： 改为动名词 “persisting”（作从句主语）

原文：some person

批改：person 是单数，要使用people

原文：want to hesitate

批改：“hesitate” 本身含 “犹豫”，无需加 “want to”

原文：give up it

批改：代词 “it” 需置于 “give up” 之间

原文：hard

批改：“On the other hand”

原文：on

批改：删除 “on”

原文：makes them don"t persist

批改：“make sb. do” 结构，不可接 “don"t”，用 “unwilling to” 表达 “不愿意”）

原文： is also vital significance

批改：改为 “are of vital significance”（“be of + 名词”= 形容词，“vital significance” 为名词短语，主语 “support and encouragement” 为复数，对应 “are”）

原文：As is vividly illustrated by this cartoon given above, a kid is communicating with his father about acting in an opera. The kid complains about his students don"t think learning opera is a fun thing. However, his father assumes it"s enough for him to persist in doing what he loves. Actually, It"s a morning call to send us a significant message that persist in what you love is important and hard.

批改：描述图片内容，符合题目要求

原文：Several factors can weigh heavily for this phenomenon. On the one hand, internally, many kids may hardly keep calm and persistent when some person don"t support what they like. Then they want to hesitate or give up it. On the other hard, externally, our society is witnessing an overwhelming number of low-level media, ranging from TV talk shows to inferior mini-dramas. These may influence on children"s ideas, which makes them don"t persist in what they love. Besides, the support and encouragement of parents is also vital significance. Only in this way can they realize what they do is valuable.

批改：提出了自己的观点，使用了表示逻辑关系的连接词，条理较为清晰

原文：Given the factors that I have outlined above, it"s wise to draw a conclusion that all of us ought to follow our hearts and do what we love. So please don"t give up your hobby and don"t believe other gossip. As a classic saying goes, a journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.

批改：总结全文，升华主题

四、考研英语作文评分

得分：15

原文紧扣 “坚持热爱” 的核心主题，框架完整，符合考研英语议论文的基本结构，且能通过 “孩子学戏曲” 的具体场景传递观点，具备一定的画面感。但存在一些问题：1. 语法错误频发（如从句结构错误、固定搭配不当、指代模糊）；2. 表达生硬冗余（如 “want to hesitate”）；希望继续努力，加油！

复习考研英语大作文，务必要重视范文精读+专业批改的双向结合。启航教育2027考研英语斌哥写作锦囊冲刺抢分班，专为冲刺阶段考生打造，从话题预测到写作模板一应俱全，是考研英语写作模板写作提分的可靠方案。