考研英语一2024年大作文实例分析与批改

想在考研英语一大作文中写出有深度的论证段落？本文精解的2024年考研英语一真题范文，从论据选择、过渡句使用到结尾点题都极具参考价值。启航教育考研英语教研组对该篇范文的批注，有助于考生建立完善的写作逻辑。

一、考研英语一2024年大作文题目

考研英语一2024年大作文Directions:Write an essay based on the picture and the chart below. In your essay, you should 1) describe the picture and the chart briefly, 2) interpret the implied meaning, and 3) give your comments. Write your answer in 160-200 words on the ANSWER SHEET. (20 points)

二、考研英语一2024年大作文批改例文

In the left-hand cartoon, there is a boy standing in a park and saying, “What wonderful the new park near my home!” Simultaneously, in the right-hand chart, in 2020, the number of parks in a certain city was 406, but by 2022, this figure has gradually risen to 670.

The core reasons for the observed phenomenon can be summarized as follows. To start with, as the conductor orchestrating the symphony of changes, our government has made tremendous efforts to build many beautiful parks, enabling residents to exercise freely. In addition, as we all know, the outbreak of COVID-19 has impacted every aspect of our lives, significantly altering people’s behaviors and choices. Consequently, an increasing number of individuals have started paying more attention to health and choose to exercise in the parks. Considering these factors, the depicted phenomenon is unsurprising.

What about future trends? I am confident that the number of parks and exercise participates is a clear sign of social improvement and will steadily increase in the following decades.

三、考研英语作文批改

原文：“What wonderful the new park near my home!” Simultaneously, in the right-hand chart, in 2

批改：“What wonderful the new park near my home!”-> “How wonderful the new park near my home is!”​ (感叹句结构错误，应用"How + adj. + 主语 + 谓语") has gradually risen-> had gradually risen​ (时态错误，描述过去某个时间点之前已完成的动作，应用过去完成时)

原文：eft-hand cartoon, there is a boy standing in a park and saying, “What wonderful the new park near my home!” Simultaneously, in the right-hand chart, in 2020, the number of parks in a certain city was 406, but by 2022, this figure has gradually risen

批改：​ 第一段成功地将图片和图表信息结合了起来，结构很好

原文： efforts to build many beautiful parks, enabling residents to exercise freely. In addition, as we all know, the outbreak of COVID-19 has impacted every aspect of our lives, significantly altering people’s behaviors and choices. Consequently, an increasing number of individuals have started paying more attention to health and choose to exercise in the parks. Considering these factors, the depicted phenomenon is unsurprising.

批改：本段从政府举措和公共卫生事件两个角度分析原因，思路清晰，论点选择非常贴切。“conductor orchestrating the symphony”的比喻很有文采。可以进一步提升的地方是论证的深度：可以更具体地说明健康意识如何直接导致了对公园这类户外设施需求的增加，让论证更扎实。

原文：parks and exercise participate

批改：exercise participates-> exercise participants​ (词性错误，应用名词)

原文：re trends? I am confident that the number of parks and exercise participates is a clear sign of social improvement and will steadily increase in the

批改：结尾段对未来趋势做出了预测，这很好。

四、考研英语作文评分

得分：15

你的这篇作文内容完整，结构清晰，较好地完成了试题规定的任务。

你的作文已经具备了良好的框架和组织能力。下一步的提升可以聚焦在两个方面：

语言的精准度：特别注意语法结构、时态和词性。这是清晰、专业表达的基础。

论证的深度：在提出每个原因后，可以再深入一步，具体解释该原因“如何”直接导致现象的发生，让论证更扎实。

无论你是2026年考生还是备战2027考研英语，精读本文的2024年考研英语一批改范例都能为你的写作带来提升。启航教育的写作主讲与AI智能批改系统全天候待命，为你的考研英语一作文范文冲刺保驾护航。