启航教育在考研英语写作教学中反复强调:词汇与句式的高级化是考研英语作文高分的关键。本文整理的2024年考研英语一批改范例,几乎每一段都包含高分替换词与衔接词,是考研英语一写作冲刺写作锦囊中的代表性范文。
一、考研英语一2024年大作文题目
考研英语一2024年大作文Directions:Write an essay based on the picture and the chart below. In your essay, you should 1) describe the picture and the chart briefly, 2) interpret the implied meaning, and 3) give your comments. Write your answer in 160-200 words on the ANSWER SHEET. (20 points)
二、考研英语一2024年大作文批改例文
In the left-hand cartoon, there is boy, standing in the park and saying, "The newly building of near our home is really nice!”, while many citizen exercise here. In the right-hand chart, the bar chart clearly depicts the number of parks in a certain city in past three years, In 2020, the number of parks was 406, but by 2022, this figure had substantially risen to 670.
The core reasons for the observed phenomenon can be summarized as follows. To start with, as the conductor archestrating the symphony of changes, our government has made tremendous efforts to build many parks, enabling residents to have ample opportunities for taking physical exercise. In addition, as well as know, the outbreak of COVlD-19 has impacted every aspect of our lives, signiticantly alterning people"s behaviors and choices. Consequently, an increasing number of individuals have started paying more attention to health. Considering these factors, the depicted phenomenon in the chart is unsurprising.
What about future trends? I am confident that the number of parks is a clear sign of social improvement and will steadily increase in the following decades.
三、考研英语作文批改
原文:ere is boy, standing in the park and saying, "The newly building of near our home is really nice!”, while many citizen exercise here. In the right-hand chart, the bar chart clearly depicts the number o
批改:there is boy-> there is a boy (缺少冠词) The newly building of near our home-> The newly-built park near my home (语法和用词修正,应为“新建的公园”) many citizen-> many citizens (名词复数) in past three years-> over the past three years (固定搭配) In 2020, ... , In 2022...-> 第二个In 2022前的逗号应改为句号,因为这是两个独立的句子。
原文: nice!”, while many citizen exercise here. In the right-hand chart, the bar chart clearly depicts the number of parks in a certain city in past three years, In 2020, the number of parks was 406, but by 2022, this figure had substantially risen to 6
批改:你成功地将图片信息和图表数据结合了起来,描述清晰
原文:archestrating the symphony of changes, our government has made tremendous efforts to build many parks, enabling residents to have ample opportunities for taking physical exercise. In addition, as well as know, the outbreak of COVlD-19 has impacted every aspect of our lives, signitic
批改:archestrating-> orchestrating (拼写错误) as well as know-> as we all know (表达错误) COVlD-19-> COVID-19 (字母“I”和数字“1”的混淆) signiticantly alterning-> significantly altering (拼写错误) paying more attention to health-> paying more attention to their health (语意更完整)
原文:he conductor archestrating the symphony of changes, our government has made tremendous efforts to build many parks, enabling residents to have ample opportunities for taking physical exercise. In addition, as well as know, the outbreak of COVlD-19 has impacted every aspect of our lives, signiticantly alterning people"s behaviors and choices. Consequently, an increasing number of individuals have started paying more attention to health. Considering these factors, the depicted phenomenon in the chart is unsurpri
批改:本段从政府建设和公共卫生事件两个角度分析公园数量增加的原因,论点选择非常贴切,逻辑也是通的。特别是将政府比作“指挥”,很有文采
原文:nd will steadily increase in the fo
批改:结尾段简洁地做出了预测,这很好
四、考研英语作文评分
得分:15
总的修改建议:
同学,你的作文已经展现出了扎实的框架构建能力和良好的语言运用意识。下一步的冲刺目标应该是追求更高的精准度与深度。
打造“零失误”基础:当前影响你得分的主要是一些可以避免的“小错误”,如拼写、冠词和单复数。请务必在写完后再通读一遍,专门检查这些细节,这是冲击高分的基础。
深化论证逻辑:在提出每个原因后,可以再往前想一步,把它和主题扣得更紧。比如,不仅是“疫情让人更健康”,而是“健康意识提升加大了对公园的需求”。
对每一位2027考研人而言,考研英语一写作冲刺都是冲刺阶段必须攻克的难关。启航教育陪伴一届又一届学子走向考研英语写作高分,本文精解的2024年考研英语一范文正是经典参考之一。欢迎关注启航教育,了解更多考研英语备考干货。
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