本文是一份经过启航教育整理的2011年考研英语二大作文批改资料,对照考研英语作文话题写作框架与评分标准进行精细讲解。无论是词汇句式、段落衔接还是逻辑展开,本文都能为考研英语考生提供可直接套用的范例。
一、考研英语二2011年大作文题目
考研英语二2011年大作文Write an essay based on the following chart. In your writing, you should 1) interpret the chart and 2) give your comments. You should write at least 150 words. Write your essay on ANSWER SHEET 2. (15 points)
二、考研英语二2011年大作文批改例文
The bar chart clearly depicts various shares of market amony part brands of cars in 2008 to 2009 in our country. In 2008, the percentage of China"s brands was approximately 26%, but by 2009, the rate had significant risen to about 31%. In contrast, the proportion of Japanse"s brands experienced a sustantialy decreased of around 10%. Simultaneously, the percentage of American brands remains stable and steady.
The core reasons for the observed phenomenon can be summarized as follows. To start with, against the backdrop of our country"s rapid and dynamic development, the younger generation, particularly those born in the 1990s and 2000s, are accustorned to using domestic cars and have become the primary consumer group. In addition, Chinese society is undergoing an extensive and profound transformation. In my view, the fundamental reason for this phenomenon is the significant progress made by China"s manufacturing industry in responding to these changes. Considering these factors, the depicted phenomenon in the chart is unstartling.
What about future trend? I am confident that the proporition of domesstic cars is a dear sign of social improvement and will steadily increase in the following decades. In contrast, the proportion of Japanse"s car will likely continue to decrease relatively stable. Simultaneously, the rate of American cars will likely continue to re remain relatively stable.
三、考研英语作文批改
原文:The bar chart clearly depicts various shares of market amony part brands of cars in 2008 to 2009 in our country.
批改:拼写错误:“amony” 改为 “among”;“part brands” 改为 “major brands”(“主要品牌” 更贴合图表核心分类); 语法 / 表达修正:“shares of market” 改为 “market shares”(固定搭配);“in 2008 to 2009” 改为 “from 2008 to 2009”(“从…… 到……” 用 “from...to...”);“in our country” 改为 “in China”(更简洁地道); 修正:“The bar chart clearly depicts the market shares of three major car brands in China from 2008 to 2009.”
原文:significant risen
批改:“significant risen” 改为 “risen significantly”(副词 “significantly” 修饰动词 “risen”)
原文:China"s brand
批改:“the percentage of China"s brands” 改为 “the market share of Chinese brands”
原文:Japanse"s brands experienced a sustantialy decreased
批改:“Japanse"s” 改为 “Japanese”(无所有格,直接用 “Japanese brands”);“substantialy” 改为 “substantially”;“decreased” 改为 “decline”(名词形式,“经历下降” 用 “experience a decline”)
原文:remains s
批改:“remains” 改为 “remained”(时态一致,用一般过去时)
原文: steady
批改:In contrast, the proportion of Japanese brands experienced a substantial decline of about 10 percentage points. Simultaneously, the market share of American brands remained stable.
原文:accustorned
批改:“accustorned” 改为 “accustomed”
原文:In my view, the fundamental reason for this phenomenon is the significant progress made by China"s manufacturing industry in responding to these changes. Considering these factors, the depicted ph
批改:有点模板化和空泛,可以添加一些细节,In addition, Chinese society is undergoing a profound transformation. In my view, the fundamental reason is the significant progress made by China’s automotive industry in technology and design. Considering these factors, the phenomenon depicted in the chart is unsurprising.
原文: proporition of domesstic cars is a dear
批改:“proporition” 改为 “proportion”;“domesstic” 改为 “domestic”;“dear” 改为 “clear”
原文:Japanse"s car will likely continue to decrease relatively
批改:“Japanese"s car” 改为 “Japanese cars”(复数表泛指);“decrease relatively stable” 改为 “see a slight decline or remain stable”(避免矛盾,表述更客观)
批改:优点:明确图表类型、核心内容和时间范围,数据描述完整,通过 “对比” 呈现变化趋势,符合 “解读图表” 的要求;衔接词使用恰当,逻辑清晰。 不足:拼写错误较多;固定搭配和介词使用不规范
批改:优点:采用 “总 - 分” 结构,理由方向合理(消费者偏好、行业进步),贴合图表现象;逻辑框架清晰,能支撑核心观点。 不足:存在拼写错误;理由阐述笼统,缺乏具体细节(如国产汽车的技术亮点、价格优势),有点模板化
批改:优点:回应 “未来趋势”,观点明确,与前文数据变化逻辑一致;对比预测符合市场规律,无明显矛盾。 不足:拼写错误和冗余表述较多
四、考研英语作文评分
得分:9/15 分
本文作为15 分制图表作文,结构完整(图表解读 - 原因分析 - 趋势预测),核心任务基本完成。开篇能准确提炼图表核心数据和变化趋势,原因分析方向贴合实际,结尾趋势预测逻辑连贯,符合图表作文的基本写作框架。但存在明显短板:一是基础语言错误密集,包括拼写、语法、固定搭配和介词使用错误,严重影响卷面观感与表达准确性;二是内容细节不足,原因分析和趋势预测缺乏具体支撑,说服力有限;三是模板化有点明显,而且套用的时候没有记忆准确,有些错误。整体属于中等水平,后续需优先修正基础语言错误,补充具体细节,优化表达精准度,即可显著提升分数。
参考:The bar chart outlines the market share changes of three major car brands—Chinese, Japanese, and American—in China from 2008 to 2009. In 2008, Chinese brands held approximately 26% of the market, and by 2009, this figure had risen significantly to around 31%. In contrast, Japanese brands saw a substantial decline of about 10 percentage points during the same period. Meanwhile, the market share of American brands remained stable with no obvious fluctuation.
Two primary factors drive these changes. First, Chinese cars have achieved remarkable progress in quality and cost-performance. Domestic manufacturers have intensified investment in technological innovation, upgrading core components like engines and optimizing designs to meet consumer demands. Their reasonable pricing further appeals to the younger generation, who have become the main consumer group. Second, the booming development of China’s automotive industry has strengthened brand confidence. With policy support and mature industrial chains, domestic brands have enhanced their competitiveness, winning more consumer trust compared to foreign counterparts.
Looking to the future, I anticipate the market share of Chinese cars will continue to rise steadily. Backed by continuous technological breakthroughs and growing national brand recognition, domestic cars are poised to capture more market share. In contrast, Japanese brands may stabilize their market position or see a modest decline as competition intensifies, while American brands are likely to maintain their stable market share. Overall, the Chinese car market will witness a growing dominance of domestic brands in the coming years.
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