考研英语一2011年大作文真题与例文批改

考研英语作文失分点多、提分空间大，一直是2011年考研英语一备考生核心痛点之一。本文围绕考研英语一真题话题，给出一篇经过启航教育老师精细批改的高分范文，文中不仅有逐句批注，还附有可复制的考研英语一高分写作模板。

一、考研英语一2011年大作文题目

考研英语一2011年大作文Directions:Write an essay of 160-200 words based on the following drawing. In your essay, you should1) describe the drawing briefly,2) explain its intended meaning, and3) give your comments.You should write neatly on ANSWER SHEET 2. (20 points)

二、考研英语一2011年大作文批改例文

When the issue of throwing junks gains a series of concerns from the public, can we still stank there, hesitating for what occurs? As we can see from the depiction, two people, sitting on the boat which is driving in the river, is throwing trash arbitrarily.

Actually, it is a morning call to send us a message that we human beings always perform something throwing much of junks, thus spoiling the environment which was deliciously pretty at the beginning. Several factors could weigh heavily for this degeneration, yet, suspended at the top of the list are the following two aspects. To begin with, it"s an immoral behavior. China is a moral country that request citizens take moral action in daily life, which means we couldn"t throw trash anywhere. Furthermore, externally, our society, especially scenic area, is witnessing an overwhelming number of rubbish, including peel, plastic bags, empty bottles, etc. Then, the environment has become very bad. It goes with no exaggeration to say that people is supposed to take their trash away especially on the road of traveling to protect the natural environment.

Fortunately, that is not the Day of Judgment. It is, undoubtedly, very time that we should take some available methods to end up these inappropriate doings, involving laying down the effective regulations to restrict the protection of environment, delivering the moderate protection outlook and guaranteeing more rational lifestyles.

三、考研英语作文批改

原文：junks

批改：“junks”→“littering”（“垃圾” 不可数，“throwing litter” 为固定搭配，“littering” 作名词更简洁，考研核心搭配）

原文：gains a series of concerns

批改：“gains a series of concerns”→“has aroused widespread public concern”（“引起广泛关注” 考研地道表达，“arouse concern” 为固定搭配）

原文：stank

批改：“stank”→“stand by”（拼写错误 + 语义偏差，“stand by” 表 “袖手旁观”，贴合语境，考研词汇精准性）

原文： boat which is driving in the river,

批改：“which is driving”→“sailing”（“船航行” 用 “sail”，“drive” 不搭配 “boat”，现在分词作后置定语简化句式，考研搭配 + 句式优化）； “is throwing”→“are throwing”（主谓一致，主语为 “two people”，考研核心语法考点）

原文：deliciously pretty

批改：“deliciously pretty”→“originally beautiful”（形容词误用，“delicious” 形容食物，“originally” 体现 “起初”，考研词汇精准性）；

原文：junks,

批改：“junks”→“litter”（不可数名词正确形式，考研名词用法）

原文：weigh heavily for

批改：“weigh heavily for”→“contribute significantly to”（“导致问题” 考研地道表达，“contribute to” 为核心搭配）

原文：degeneration,

批改：“degeneration”→“problem”（语义偏差，“degeneration” 侧重 “堕落”，此处指 “乱扔垃圾问题”，考研语义精准性）

原文：anywhere.

批改：anywhere-“randomly”（“随意乱扔” 更贴合主题，考研语义精准）

原文：scenic area

批改：“scenic area”→“scenic spots”（复数表泛指，“景点” 常用复数，考研名词单复数）

原文：peel,

批改：peel”→“fruit peels”（明确 “果皮”，复数表泛指，考研语义具体性）

原文：eople is

批改：“people is”→“people should”（主谓一致错误，“people” 为复数，考研核心语法）；

原文：take their trash away

批改：take their trash away”→“take their trash with them”（“随身携带垃圾” 更地道，考研搭配）

原文：that is not the Day of Judgment

批改：考研级优化：Fortunately, it is not too late to address this issue.

原文： very time

批改：very time”→“high time”（“it is high time we did” 为考研高分句型，表 “是时候做某事”）

原文：restrict the protection of environment,

批改：“to restrict the protection of environment”→“to curb littering”（语义矛盾修正，原句 “限制环保” 逻辑错误，“curb littering” 表 “遏制乱扔垃圾”，考研逻辑精准）；

原文：guaranteeing

批改：“guaranteeing”→“guiding people to adopt”（“引导人们养成” 更贴合 “生活方式”，考研搭配精准

四、考研英语作文评分

得分：11/20

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