2021年考研英语二大作文真题与例文批改

考研英语作文失分点多、提分空间大，一直是2021年考研英语二备考生核心痛点之一。本文围绕考研英语二写作技巧话题，给出一篇经过启航教育老师精细批改的高分范文，文中不仅有逐句批注，还附有可复制的考研英语二高分写作模板。

一、2021年考研英语二大作文题目

考研英语二2021年大作文48. Directions: Write an essay based on the chart below. In your writing, you should1) interpret the chart, and 2)give your comments. You should write about 150 words on the ANSWER SHEET. (15 points)

二、2021年考研英语二大作文批改例文

The bar chart clearly displays the percentage breakdown of the survey of various exercises among residents in certain city. Exercising along takes the lead at 54.3%, followed by exercising with friends at 47.7%. Additionally, exercising with family and participating a union activity are also considered,accounting for 23.9% and 15.8%, respectively.

The core reasons for this observed phenomenon can be summarized as follows.To start with,as the saying goes, "On life"s stage, pressure is always present.” Nowadays, an increasing number of individuals is compelled to confront life"s pressure, and as a reasult,exercising along has emerged as their significant choice for utilizing leisure time rather than exercising with others.In addition, the outbreak of COVID-19 has impacted every aspect of our lives, significantly altering people"s behaviors and choices. Cosequently, an increasing number of people have started paying more attention to exercise with acquaintances but strangers. Considering these factors, the depicted phenomenon in the chart is unsurprising.

what about future trend? I am confident that the above statistical figures accurately and truthfully reflect the choices of the residents, serving as a microcosm of the changes in the era, and will likely remain relatively stable in the following decades.

三、考研英语作文批改

原文：e bar chart clearly displays the percentage breakdown of the survey of various exercises among residents in certain city. Exercising along takes the lead at 54.3%, followed by exercising with friends at 47.7%. Additionally, exercising with family and participating a union activity are also considered,accounting for 23.9% and 15.8%, respectively.

批改： 你准确地列出了图表中的所有数据，并指出了排名前两位的锻炼方式，很好地完成了任务。

原文：articipating a uni

批改：“participating a union activity” 中介词使用不当，应改为 “participating in a team activity” 或 “engaging in group exercises”。

原文：Exercising along

批改：“exercising along” 应为 “exercising alone”

原文：e core reasons for this observed phenomenon can be summarized as follows.To start with,as the saying goes, "On life"s stage, pressure is always present.” Nowadays, an increasing number of individuals is compelled to confront life"s pressure, and as a reasult,exercising along has emerged as their significant choice for utilizing leisure time rather than exercising with others.In addition, the outbreak of COVID-19 has impacted every aspect of our lives, significantly altering people"s behaviors and choices. Cosequently, an increasing number of people have started paying more attention to exercise with acquaintances but strangers. Considering these factors, the depicted phenomenon in the chart is unsurprising.

批改：你从生活压力和新冠疫情两个角度分析原因，视角独特，特别是疫情对行为的影响，与图表内容逻辑关联紧密。

原文： a reasult,e

批改：“reasult” 拼写错误，应为 “result”

原文：Cosequently

批改：Cosequently” 拼写错误，应为 “Consequently

原文：eople have starte

批改：“an increasing number of individuals is” 存在主谓不一致错误，应为 “an increasing number of individuals are”。“exercising along” 问题同上，应改为 “exercising alone”。

原文：strangers

批改：第二个原因内部逻辑需要理顺。“paying more attention to exercise with acquaintances but strangers” 表意不清，且与“独自锻炼比例最高”的现象存在矛盾。建议将结论修改为：“...have become more cautious about group activities with non-family members, making solitary exercise a safer and more convenient option.”

原文：t about future trend? I am confident that the above statistical figures accurately and truthfully reflect the choices of the residents, serving as a microcosm of the changes in the era, and will likely remain relatively stable in the following decades.

批改： 结尾段很好地完成了预测趋势的任务。“a microcosm of the changes in the era”（时代变迁的缩影）这个表达非常高级且有深度！

原文：what about future trend? I am confident that the above statistical figures accurately and truthfully reflect

批改：开头 “what” 应大写为 “What”。“future trend” 应用复数 “future trends”，因为文中讨论了多种锻炼方式的趋势。

四、考研英语作文评分

得分：12

你的文章结构稳固，论证内容充实且富有见地，更难得的是展现了优秀的思想深度。主要的提升空间在于进一步提升语言细节的精准度，并确保论证逻辑的严谨与一致。

修改建议

确保论证与数据的完美契合。 在分析原因时，要确保推导出的结论能直接解释图表中的主要现象（如“独自锻炼”比例最高）。

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