当你坐在考研英语一考场,面对2011年大作文题目的那一瞬间,是否能快速组织起一篇结构清晰、表达地道的高分文章?本文这篇批改例文,正是考研英语一作文真题话题下的标准范本,适合每一位考研英语备考生反复研读。
一、考研英语一2011年大作文题目
考研英语一2011年大作文Directions:Write an essay of 160-200 words based on the following drawing. In your essay, you should1) describe the drawing briefly,2) explain its intended meaning, and3) give your comments.You should write neatly on ANSWER SHEET 2. (20 points)
二、考研英语一2011年大作文批改例文
As shown in the cartoon ,there are two young people enjoying the scenery and dropping litter , which the boat is sailing in the river .Evidently , the cartoonist intends to convey to readers that environmental protection is an issue that requires great attention both in our personal lives and in society .
This phenomenon is thought -provoking in several ways ,but two of them are particularly significant . First and foremost ,while certain Chinese traditions may be outdated , spirit of environmental protection is one that should never lose its luster ,as it is an essential bond that keeps the Chinese nation thriving .What’s more ,in modern society full of changes ,chances ,and challenges , the spirit of environmental protection has become a key quality that distinguishes exceptional individuals from ordinary people , and its significance has become increasingly evident .
How can we put an end to the problem of environmental ?It is suggested by many we need a package deal ,including issue related laws ,and strengthen moral education .But would these measures be comprehensive enough ?In reality ,we also need to foster the virtue of environmental protection deliberately.With the support of these measures , we can effectively tackle the issue at its core .
三、考研英语作文批改
原文:which
批改:用while替代which,你写的不符合定语从句的表达。
原文:in
批改:in改成on,
原文:As shown in the cartoon ,there are two young people enjoying the scenery and dropping litter , which the boat is sailing in the river .Evidently , the cartoonist intends to convey to readers that environmental protection is an issue that requires great attention both in our personal lives and in society .
批改:能够完整全面的描述出图画中的现象,并能够直接点明作文的主题。
原文:This phenomenon is thought -provoking in several ways ,but two of them are particularly significant . First and foremost ,while certain Chinese traditions may be outdated , spirit of environmental protection is one that should never lose its luster ,as it is an essential bond that keeps the Chinese nation thriving .What’s more ,in modern society full of changes ,chances ,and challenges , the spirit of environmental protection has become a key quality that distinguishes exceptional individuals from ordinary people , and its significance has become increasingly evident .
批改:该段落能够将图画背后蕴含的真实意义加以阐述,语言衔接连贯。能够运用逻辑关系词来连接句子,值得表扬。
原文:environmental
批改:后缺少pollution
批改:缺少that
原文:issue
批改:including是介词,改成issuing
原文:strengthen
批改:strengthening
原文:How can we put an end to the problem of environmental ?It is suggested by many we need a package deal ,including issue related laws ,and strengthen moral education .But would these measures be comprehensive enough ?In reality ,we also need to foster the virtue of environmental protection deliberately.With the support of these measures , we can effectively tackle the issue at its core .
批改:能够提出自己的建议,起到了总结和再次呼应主题的作用。
四、考研英语作文评分
得分:15/20
内容切题,准确全面的描绘出了图画中的内容。词汇方面,无拼写错误;句式方面,注意句子结构的完整,不要缺少成分;语法方面,注意定语从句的正确使用。逻辑结构清晰完整,论证较为充分。能够运用一些逻辑关系词来连接句子,结构清晰。
修改建议:可以看出作文完成的非常认真,无论是内容的充分性还是语言的逻辑结构都特别的清晰,值得表扬。如果能够再注意避免以上的一些小的细节性错误会更好。继续加油。
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