考研英语一2024年大作文实例分析与批改

想在考研英语一大作文中写出有深度的论证段落？本文精解的2024年考研英语一真题范文，从论据选择、过渡句使用到结尾点题都极具参考价值。启航教育考研英语教研组对该篇范文的批注，有助于考生建立完善的写作逻辑。

一、考研英语一2024年大作文题目

考研英语一2024年大作文Directions:Write an essay based on the picture and the chart below. In your essay, you should 1) describe the picture and the chart briefly, 2) interpret the implied meaning, and 3) give your comments. Write your answer in 160-200 words on the ANSWER SHEET. (20 points)

二、考研英语一2024年大作文批改例文

In the left-hand picture, there are individuals exercising in the park. one of the boys is saying, "The new park in front of my home is great." Meanwhile, the right-hand chart depicts an increasing number of parks were constructed in a certain city. In 2020, the number of parks was 406, but by 2022, this figure had substantially risen to 670.

The core reasons for the observed phenomenon can be summarised as follows. To start with, in the wake of the high-speed advancement of society, people"s attitudes towards health have undergone significant changes. People are no longer content with material satisfaction; they also pursue physical health. This explains why an increasing number of people choose to exercise in parks rather than stay at home. In addition, as we all know, the outbreak of COVID-19 has impacted every aspect of our lives, significantly altering people"s behaviors and choices. Consequently, an increasing number of individuals have started paying more attention to health.

What about the trends? I am confident that the number of fitness parks will steadily increase in the following decades. At the same time, the number of people exercising in the park will likely continue to increase.

三、考研英语作文批改

原文：one

批改：首字母大写

原文：in front of

批改：改为 near

批改：图画和图表的内容表达都不错，很清晰

批改：语法正确

批改：语法正确

批改：语法正确，内容表达也很好

批改：内容表达很好，也很具体

原文：the

批改：改为 future

批改：结尾段内容表达很好

四、考研英语作文评分

得分：17分/20分

题目要求：总体上来说是切题的，表明了个人观点，和图画的内容很贴合

语言表达：存在几处细节表达问题，词汇表达不错，一些句式也很好

结构逻辑：文章的结构完整清晰，内容也比较丰富具体

修改建议：细节表达问题结合作文批注仔细修改，要细心。之后可以多积累素材，自己多练练句子，进一步丰富自己的句式和观点储备，提高自己的表达，总的来说写的不错，加油！

无论你是2026年考生还是备战2027考研英语，精读本文的2024年考研英语一批改范例都能为你的写作带来提升。启航教育的写作主讲与AI智能批改系统全天候待命，为你的考研英语一作文范文冲刺保驾护航。