考研英语二2016年大作文实例分析与批改

2016年考研英语二大作文围绕哪一类话题命题？本文精选的范文聚焦考研英语二作文模板话题方向，结合启航教育多年考研英语二教学沉淀，从描述图表、解读寓意到发表评论三大角度，完整呈现高分作文的内在结构。

一、考研英语二2016年大作文题目

考研英语二2016年大作文Write an essay based on the chart below. In your writing, you should1) interpret the chart, and2) give your comments.You should write about 150 words on the ANSWER SHEET.

二、考研英语二2016年大作文批改例文

日期 The pie chart illustrates the purpose of college students" travelling in a univeras turey. t categorizons the morhuties into for aspoct

Specificaly 37%s of students trelto enjoy natural Landscare ranknogfisc. Relieny strey bblows clsely, accg for 3oe reflectings tudent"s" acudentc and metul buddas making newfriends taho up 9o devebony, andepedene or is ony 6%

This dlistribution reavens that students many treat traveliny as lessure and stress relief, yet it"s educationa vale such as bradhy hormas or fostering independence -is often ove-looked. Universsties and society should guide students to explore diverse benidts of travelly, mgking it not justr reloxation but aso a praticul lesson fr growth. Thus travelling can better serve students wll-rourd developmer,

三、考研英语作文批改

原文： a univeras tur

批改：univeras turey -> a university survey (一项大学调查)

原文：. t categorizons the morhuties into

批改：t categorizons the morhuties into for aspoct -> It categorizes the motivations into four aspects. (它将动机分为四个方面) 开头句首字母t应为It。

原文：he pie chart illustrates the purpose of college students" travelling in a univeras turey. t categorizons the morhuties into for aspoct Specificaly 37%s of students trelto enjoy natural Landscare ranknogfisc. Relieny strey bblows clsely, accg for 3oe reflectings tudent"s" acudentc and metul buddas making newfriends taho up 9o devebony, andepedene or is ony 6%

批改：本段意在引出图表主题，但因拼写问题影响了理解

原文：ecificaly 37%s of students trelto enj

批改：本段似乎是具体数据描述。根据常见数据和上下文，我推测想表达的是： Specificaly 37%s... ranknogfisc -> Specifically, 37% of students travel to enjoy natural landscape, ranking first. (具体来说，37%的学生旅游是为了欣赏自然风光，位居首位。) Relieny strey bblows clsely, accg for 3oe... -> Relieving stress follows closely, accounting for 33%, reflecting students" academic and mental burdens. (缓解压力紧随其后，占33%，反映了学生的学业和精神压力。)

原文：making newfriends taho up 9o dev

批改：making newfriends taho up 9o -> Making new friends takes up 9%. (结交朋友占9%。) devebony, andepedene or is ony 6% -> Developing independence is only 6%. (培养独立性仅占6%。)

原文：ibution reavens that students ma

批改：dlistribution reavens -> distribution reveals (分布情况揭示) students many -> most students (大多数学生)

原文：at traveliny as lessure and stress relief, yet it"s educationa vale such as bradhy hormas or fostering independence -is often ove-looked. Universsties and society should guide

批改：traveliny as lessure -> traveling as leisure (将旅行视为休闲) educationa vale -> educational value (教育价值) bradhy hormas -> broadening horizons (开阔眼界) -- 这个观点非常好！ ove-looked -> overlooked (被忽视)

原文：diverse benidts of travelly, mgking it not justr reloxation but aso a praticul lesson fr growth. Thus travelling can better serve students wll-rourd developmer,

批改：diverse benidts of travelly -> diverse benefits of traveling (旅行的多种益处) praticul lesson fr growth -> a practical lesson for growth (为了成长的一堂实践课) wll-rourd developmer -> well-rounded development (全面发展) -- 这个总结也很棒！

原文：listribution reavens that students many treat traveliny as lessure and stress relief, yet it"s educationa vale such as bradhy hormas or fostering independence -is often ove-looked. Universsties and society should guide students to explore diverse benidts of travelly, mgking it not justr reloxation but aso a praticul lesson fr growth. Thus travelling can better serve students wll-rourd developme

批改：这是作文的亮点段落！你的评论展现了深刻的思辨能力，指出了现象背后的深层问题（重休闲轻教育），并提出了具有建设性的建议（学校和社会应引导），最后升华到“全面发展”的高度。如果语言表达准确，这将是非常出色的评论。

四、考研英语作文评分

得分：6分

基本完成了试题规定的任务。虽然原文因技术问题导致大量内容难以辨认，但根据可理解的部分和评论段的出色思路，可以判断文章包含了多数内容要点（描述了主要数据并给出了评论）。然而，文中存在大量影响理解的拼写和语法错误。

总评：

同学，你好！首先，我非常欣赏你在作文第三段展现出的思考深度，从“休闲娱乐”上升到“教育价值”和“全面发展”，这是一个非常棒的亮点，

1. 语言方面：

当前影响你得分的主要障碍是语言的准确性问题。文中出现了大量拼写错误，这严重影响了阅卷老师对你文章内容的理解。请务必在写作后留出时间仔细检查和校对，确保每个单词的拼写都是正确的。这是你下一步需要投入最多精力的地方。

2. 结构方面：

尽管存在语言问题，但我能看出你的文章具备了“描述图表-分析评论”的清晰结构意识。特别是你的评论段，逻辑层层递进（指出现状-指出问题-提出建议-总结意义），框架非常扎实。

总的修改建议：

首要任务：保证清晰与准确。在下次写作时，请放慢速度，确保每个单词拼写正确。完成初稿后，务必通读一遍，专门检查拼写。

你具备批判性思维和深化主题的能力，这是非常宝贵的。请保持这个优点！

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