正在备考考研英语的你,是否还在为2023年考研英语二大作文的写法犯愁?本文精选一篇高分组同学的批改例文,系统梳理考研英语作文万能句型的常考话题与写作框架。透过启航教育老师的逐段点评,你能直观感受高分作文的得分诀窍。
一、2023年考研英语二大作文题目
考研英语二2023年大作文48. Directions: Write an essay based on the chart below. In your essay, you should 1) describe and interpret the chart, and 2) give your comments. Write your answer in about 150 words on the ANSWER SHEET. (15 points)
二、2023年考研英语二大作文批改例文
The line chart clearly depicts the level of health literacy among Chinese residents from 2012 to 2021. In 2012, the percentage of health literacy was 8.8%, but by 2021, this rate had substaintially risen to 25.4%.
The core reasons of the observed phenomenon can be summarizd as follows. To start with, as the conductor orchestrating the symphony of changes, our government has made tremendous efforts to build a sound medical system, enabling residents to have ample opportunities for obtaining busic information and medical service. In addition, in the wake of the high-speed advancement of soclety, people are no longer content with mere materlal satisfaction; they also pursue physical health. Considering these factors, the depicted phenomenon in the chart is un-surprising.
What about future trends? I am confident the level of hoalth literacy among Chinese residents is a clear sign of social improvement and will steadily increase in the following decades.
三、考研英语作文批改
原文:art clearly depicts the level of health literacy among Chinese residents from 2012 to 2021. In 2012, the percentage of health literacy was 8.8%, but by 2021, this rate had substaintially risen to 25.4%.
批改:第一段开篇非常出色!语言精准、专业、简洁。用词上,“depicts", "level of health literacy" 都非常地道
原文:substaintially ri
批改:substaintially-> substantially (拼写错误)
原文:reasons of the observed phenomenon can be summarizd as follows. To start with, as the conductor orchestrating the symphony of changes, our government has made tremendous efforts to build a sound medical system, enabling residents to have ample opportunities for obtaining busic information and medical service. In addition, in the wake of the high-speed advancement of
批改:reasons of-> reasons for (固定搭配) summarizd-> summarized (拼写错误) busic-> basic (拼写错误) soclety-> society (拼写错误) materlal-> material (拼写错误) un-surprising-> unsurprising (拼写错误,无需连字符)
原文:uctor orchestrating the symphony of changes, our government has made tremendous efforts to build a sound medical system, enabling residents to have ample opportunities for obtaining busic information and medical service. In addition, in the wake of the high-speed advancement of soclety, people are no longer content with mere materlal satisfaction; they also pursue physical health. Considering these factors, the depicted phenomenon in the chart is un-surprising.
批改:本段的论证框架非常好,从政府举措和公众意识两个角度分析原因,思路清晰。“as the conductor orchestrating the symphony of changes”这个比喻用得非常精妙。可以进一步提升的地方是论证的深度和独特性。第二个原因(追求身体健康)是普遍认知,可以更具体地联系到“健康素养”本身,例如说明人们意识到主动学习健康知识(即提升健康素养)比被动看病更重要,从而直接推高了“健康素养”水平。
原文:hoalth literacy among Chinese residents is a clear sign of social improvement and will steadily incr
批改:hoalth-> health (拼写错误) I am confident the level...-> I am confident that the level... (宾语从句引导词that通常不省略,以保证书面语的严谨性)
原文:ut future trends? I am confident the level of hoalth literacy among Chinese residents is a clear sign of social improvement and will steadily increase in the followin
批改:结尾段对未来做出了合理的预测
四、考研英语作文评分
得分:11
同学,你的这篇作文结构稳定,要点完整,并且展现了运用复杂句式的潜力,这是很好的基础。
当前,提升的关键在于语言的精准度,特别是拼写和基础语法。
我为你提供一个非常具体且重要的建议:
建立“最后检查”环节,专注基础项目。 在完成作文后,请务必留出3-5分钟,按照一个固定的清单快速检查:1) 关键词拼写(如health, society, summarized);2) 固定搭配(如reasons for)。这个小习惯能帮你避免很多不必要的失分。
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