思想品质、教育文化是考研英语大作文的高频命题方向,本文呈现的2021年考研英语一批改范例正是聚焦这一主旨。启航教育老师透过文章结构、衔接表达和结尾升华三方面,逐段展示了一篇考研英语作文真题范文高分范文的诞生过程。
一、2021年考研英语一大作文题目
考研英语一2021年大作文52. Directions: Write an essay of 160-200 words based on the picture below. In your essay, you should1)describe the picture briefly, 2)interpret the implied meaning, and 3)give your comments. Write your answer on the ANSWER SHEET. (20 points)
二、2021年考研英语一大作文批改例文
As shown in the cartoon,there is a boy playing the role of monkey king and saying”Dad,so many classmates think the playing is no funny.”while the man saying”That is enough if you love it.”Evidently, the cartoonist intends to convey to readers that love is the brush that paints a bright future, while fear is the shackle that hinders progress.
This phenomenon is thought-provoking in several ways, but two of them are particularly significant.On the one hand,In modern society full of changes, chances, and challenges, love has become a key factor/quality that distinguishes exceptional individuals from ordinary people, and its significance has become increasingly evident.On the other hand,While certain Chinese traditions may be outdated, the spirit of playing is one that should never lose its luster, as it is an essential bond that keeps the Chinese nation thriving s a crucial piece in shaping the admirable character of the Chinese people.
In brief,love is the catalyst for societal and personal development, from which we all stand to benefit. Therefore, we should actively support and advocate this quality/practice/we should actively promote and carry forward traditional culture, additionally, we must be acutely aware of the detrimental effects of fear to ensure our growth stays on course.
三、考研英语作文批改
原文:As shown in the cartoon,there is a boy playing the role of monkey king and saying”Dad,so many classmates think the playing is no funny.”while the man saying”That is enough if you love it.”Evidently, the cartoonist intends to convey to readers that love is the brush that paints a bright future, while fear is the shackle that hinders progress
批改:本段准确描述了漫画场景,并运用了精彩的比喻来点明主旨
原文:he man saying
批改:the man saying → 结构不完整,建议改为 his father replies
原文:his phenomenon is thought-provoking in several ways, but two of them are particularly significant.On the one hand,In modern society full of changes, chances, and challenges, love has become a key factor/quality that distinguishes exceptional individuals from ordinary people, and its significance has become increasingly evident.On the other hand,While certain Chinese traditions may be outdated, the spirit of playing is one that should never lose its luster, as it is an essential bond that keeps the Chinese nation thriving s a crucial piece in shaping the admirable character of the Chinese people
批改:本段从现代社会需求和传统文化传承两个角度论证,思路开阔
原文:riving s a crucial
批改:thriving s a crucial piece → 疑似笔误,建议改为 thriving and serves as a crucial element
原文:ief,love is the catalyst for societal and personal development, from which we all stand to benefit. Therefore, we should actively support and advocate this quality/practice/we should actively promote and carry forward traditional culture, additionally, we must be acutely aware of the detrimental effects of fear to ensure our growth stays on course
批改:结尾段很好地总结了全文,高级词汇运用得当。
四、考研英语作文评分
得分:16
总评与修改建议
你的作文展现了出色的语言运用能力和宏观构思能力。文章结构严谨,论证层次分明,特别是贯穿全文的比喻修辞(如brush、shackle、catalyst等),使得论述既生动又深刻,显示出你良好的语言积累和表达能力。
如果想要让作文更上一层楼,建议在语言的精细度上投入更多注意力。具体来说,可以重点关注:标点符号的规范使用(如逗号后空格、分号的正确使用),表达的一致性(避免使用斜杠,选择最合适的词),以及段落内部的逻辑衔接。你可以在完成写作后,专门留出时间检查这些细节。当你清晰的思路和出色的修辞能力配以更加规范精准的语言表达时,你的作文必将更加出色。
启航教育考研英语批改服务累计已帮助众多考生实现写作提分。本文精解的2021年考研英语一范文,正是来自启航教育写作批改的真实案例。想要获得同样专业的批改,扫描页面二维码或在线咨询即可预约考研英语作文真题范文免费批改名额。
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