考研英语一2011年大作文真题与例文批改

考研英语作文失分点多、提分空间大，一直是2011年考研英语一备考生核心痛点之一。本文围绕考研英语一作文模板话题，给出一篇经过启航教育老师精细批改的高分范文，文中不仅有逐句批注，还附有可复制的考研英语一高分写作模板。

一、考研英语一2011年大作文题目

考研英语一2011年大作文Directions:Write an essay of 160-200 words based on the following drawing. In your essay, you should1) describe the drawing briefly,2) explain its intended meaning, and3) give your comments.You should write neatly on ANSWER SHEET 2. (20 points)

二、考研英语一2011年大作文批改例文

As shown in the cartoon, there are two tourists, sitting on a boat, enjoying the scenery and throwing rubbish into the river , which polluted it, Evidently, the cartoonist intends to convey to readers that protect the enviroment is an issue that requires great attention both in our personal lives and in society,

This phenomenon is thought-provoking in several ways, but two of them are particularly significant, First and foremost while certain chinese traditions may be outdated the virtue of environmental conservation is one that should never lose its luster as it"s a crucial piece in shaping the admirable character of the Chinese people. what is more Behaviors that harm the environment can damage personal image and reputation, leading to exclusion and failure in work and social situations

How can we put an end to the problem of environmentall conservation? It"s suggested by many that we need a package deal, including issuing related regulations and enhancing supervision, But would these measures be comprehensive enough?In the virtue of enviromental conservation deliberately, whith the support of these measures. we can effectively fackle the issue at its cove

三、考研英语作文批改

原文：enviroment

批改：enviroment 拼写错误，应为 environment

原文：protect

批改：protect the enviroment is... 是典型的语法错误，动词原形 protect 不能作主语，应改为动名词 protecting 或不定式 to protect

原文： which polluted it,

批改：which polluted it 中的 it 指代模糊（指 river 还是整个场景？），且时态与主句不一致（主句是现在时，从句是过去时）。

原文：shown in the cartoon, there are two tourists, sitting on a boat, enjoying the scenery and throwing rubbish into the river , which polluted it, Evidently, the cartoonist intends to convey to readers that protect the enviroment is an issue that requires great attention both in our personal lives and in society,

批改：内容与逻辑： 本段基本完成了图画描述和寓意揭示的任务，逻辑清晰。能够从具体画面过渡到抽象主旨。 语言表达： 存在关键的名词拼写和动名词作主语的语法错误。

原文： First and foremost

批改：First and foremost 和 what is more 后面缺少逗号。

原文：what is more

批改： what is more 后面缺少逗号。

原文： chinese

批改：chinese 作为专有名词，应大写为 Chinese

原文：t,

批改：句号

原文：is phenomenon is thought-provoking in several ways, but two of them are particularly significant, First and foremost while certain chinese traditions may be outdated the virtue of environmental conservation is one that should never lose its luster as it"s a crucial piece in shaping the admirable character of the Chinese people. what is more Behaviors that harm the environment can damage personal image and reputation, leading to exclusion and failure in work and social situations

批改：内容与逻辑： 本段尝试从两个层面论证，结构意识很好。 语言表达： 标点符号使用不规范是主要问题，导致句子层次不清。

原文： environmentall

批改：environmentall -> environmental

原文：enviromental

批改：enviromental -> environmental

原文：whith

批改：whith -> with

原文：fackle t

批改：fackle -> tackle

原文：s cove

批改：cov -> core

原文：In the virtue of enviromental conservation deliberately,

批改：In the virtue of... deliberately 短语使用错误，意思不清。

原文：w can we put an end to the problem of environmentall conservation? It"s suggested by many that we need a package deal, including issuing related regulations and enhancing supervision, But would these measures be comprehensive enough?In the virtue of enviromental conservation deliberately, whith the support of these measures. we can effectively fackle the issue at its cov

批改：内容与逻辑： 本段内容不完整，逻辑混乱。虽然开头提出了问题，但论证戛然而止，并以一个语意不清的句子收尾，未能有效完成段落“提出解决方案”的功能。 语言表达： 存在大量基础拼写错误，严重影响了表达

四、考研英语作文评分

得分：11分

总评

题目要求：

切题度： 基本切题，抓住了图画“乱扔垃圾污染环境”的核心，并围绕环境保护展开讨论。

格式与结构： 文章遵循了“描述图画-阐述意义-个人评论”的三段式结构，框架正确。

语言表达：

语法方面： 存在多处基础语法错误（如动名词作主语、时态、句子不完整）和严重的标点符号误用问题。

词汇方面： 词汇量尚可，但拼写错误非常突出（尤其是高频核心词environment），这暴露了基本功的不扎实。

内容层面：

结构与完整性： 结构清晰

修改建议：

首要任务：巩固基础。 重点解决高频词汇的拼写问题（如environment, tackle, core等）和基本语法规则（如动名词作主语、基本句型结构）。

加强句式控制： 在写作复杂句时，先确保主谓宾清晰，合理使用连接词和标点，避免出现串句或句意不明的现象。

保证文章完整： 务必留出时间检查结尾段，确保文章有一个有力的总结。

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